xandreu wrote: ↑Sat Jul 13, 2019 8:48 pm Cambodia, to me, seems to be about two or three generations behind - I'd like to say the rest of the world, but that wouldn't be true - many western cultures, when it comes to attitudes to what goes on behind closed doors.

I was a kid in the UK in the 1970's, and the attitude there and then was similar to what it is here and now. Men would beat their wives, (a few, not at all the majority), but their wives would feel helpless with no-where to go for help. It was kind of accepted (in hushed tones) by the community, that the general feeling was that if a woman was being beaten by her husband, it was easier to assume she must have done something wrong rather than take the attitude that the husband was simply a violent thug and someone should intervene. Friends, family and the community at large were aware that things weren't right but were very reluctant to intervene, because the assumption was, what goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. People simply didn't interfere in other people's marriages.

I can't go into too much detail but I've had a couple of instances through my work here where I've had not only suspicions, but pretty strong evidence that certain individuals were probably being violently abused at home, but when bringing the issue up with (Khmer) colleagues (people I think of of as not only work colleagues but close friends), I was strongly advised about two things. One, was not to bring up the issue with them. And the other, more importantly, was not to bring up the issue with the individuals involved.

The message was, in no uncertain terms, don't get involved.

It's a sad state of affairs and, as I said, very reminiscent of my own culture two or three generations ago.

I just hope that sooner rather than later, Khmer culture changes with regards to these issues.

John Bingham wrote: ↑Sat Jul 13, 2019 10:55 pm Well, just to play the devil's advocate and also reflect my experiences, I have found that Cambodian mothers tend to be far more disciplinarian and use corporal punishment far more readily than fathers. Almost every Cambodian I know is far more terrified of their mother/ grandmother than their father/ grandfather.

Anthony's Weiner wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:49 pm

Robins wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:27 pm Yes, domestic violence is a problem, but much of it is exaggerated. This is not my opinion, it's based on 20 years of law enforcement experience in California followed by 10 years as a lawyer representing police officers in matters related to their employment. Many of these clients were accused of DV and it was a double disaster for them since a conviction could result in the loss of their ability to possess a weapon and end their careers. Amazing how fast the cases fell apart when the wife was put on the witness stand.

Fake claims of DV were extremely common in divorces during which child custody was at issue, and while it might surprise some people, female judges were actually harder on women making these claims than male judges. That poor helpless manipulative female act does not work well on women judges.

The worst one had to be the woman who got facial cosmetic surgery to fix her baggy eyelids and add a chin. This woman told anyone that would listen that the reason for her facial trauma was that her husband had beaten her. When she made this claim at her children's school, they notified children's protective services and the husband was arrested, totally blind to why it was happening. He spent 5 days in custody before I got a subpoena served on the plastic surgeon. After a phone conversation between the DA and the doctor he was released, and the case was dropped entirely when they got the medical file and the date of the claimed beating matched the date of the surgery.

That's how wicked some women can be, and they often plan divorces months before the man even knows something is wrong.

Finally, and I cannot resist, if some women knew when to STFU, there would be far fewer incidents. For some reason, they have to get in the last word.

Same with those damned unarmed coloured boys, if they just shut up cops wouldn' t have to kill so many of them. Thank God one needs an education to be a cop now

atst wrote:Nobody asks the question what drives a normal kind loving man to strike out in the attempt to get away when cornered and cannot excape

atst wrote:Again I state it's not acceptable for any man or woman to hit thier parter
But I know from experience that some women I'm not saying all take advantage of the laws and falsely accused there partner of domestic violence
FACT

Robins wrote: Finally, and I cannot resist, if some women knew when to STFU, there would be far fewer incidents. For some reason, they have to get in the last word.