Classic putdowns

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StroppyChops
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Classic putdowns

Post by StroppyChops » Thu Jun 07, 2018 11:25 pm

In the interests of political incorrectness, here's a list of truly brilliant putdowns, as posted on ABC News Australia:
"There are two things I don't like about you, Felicia: your face — so how about shutting both of them?"
This line, from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, is — for my money — one of the best put-downs in the English language.
"A shiver looking for a spine to crawl up."
Paul Keating on John Howard

"All that money, and he's still got hair like a dinner-lady."
Boy George on Elton John

"Michael Jackson's album was called Bad because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic."
Prince

"Like a dwarf who's been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair."
Boy George on Prince

"It's like Michael J Fox drew it and Stevie Wonder filled it in."
Joan Rivers on Lena Dunham's tattoo

"The daughter Cher wishes she'd had."
Joan Rivers on Justin Bieber

"All tip and no iceberg."
Paul Keating on Peter Costello

"Could make a can of Red Bull fall asleep."
Comedian Katy Brand on Adele's singing

Any to add?
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kptic
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Re: Classic putdowns

Post by kptic » Fri Jun 08, 2018 5:39 am

StroppyChops wrote:
Thu Jun 07, 2018 11:25 pm
In the interests of political incorrectness, here's a list of truly brilliant putdowns, as posted on ABC News Australia:
"There are two things I don't like about you, Felicia: your face — so how about shutting both of them?"
This line, from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, is — for my money — one of the best put-downs in the English language.
"A shiver looking for a spine to crawl up."
Paul Keating on John Howard

"All that money, and he's still got hair like a dinner-lady."
Boy George on Elton John

"Michael Jackson's album was called Bad because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic."
Prince

"Like a dwarf who's been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair."
Boy George on Prince

"It's like Michael J Fox drew it and Stevie Wonder filled it in."
Joan Rivers on Lena Dunham's tattoo

"The daughter Cher wishes she'd had."
Joan Rivers on Justin Bieber

"All tip and no iceberg."
Paul Keating on Peter Costello

"Could make a can of Red Bull fall asleep."
Comedian Katy Brand on Adele's singing

Any to add?
“She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.”
Bette Midler on Princess Anne

“Joe Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wildlife.”
Muhammad Ali

“Gerry Ford is so dumb he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time.”
Lyndon Johnson on Gerald Ford.

“A huge fur ball on two overdeveloped legs.”
Nancy Mitford on Princess Margaret

“There’s one area where Donald’s experience could be invaluable, and that’s closing Guantanamo. Because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground.”
Barack Obama on Donald Trump
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Captain Bonez
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Re: Classic putdowns

Post by Captain Bonez » Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:38 am

Image
Keep your money in your socks and fuck with your socks on

̿ ̿'̿'̿\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿
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that genius
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Re: Classic putdowns

Post by that genius » Fri Jun 08, 2018 7:27 am

Churchill when he was told he was drunk.

Yes, but you're ugly, and in the morning I'll be sober.

On being told by a woman that if he were her husband, she'd poison him:

If you were my wife, I'd drink it

Oscar Wilde did some good ones
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rozzieoz
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Re: Classic putdowns

Post by rozzieoz » Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:47 am

Joan Rivers is my hero.


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General Mackevili
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Re: Classic putdowns

Post by General Mackevili » Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:11 am

"Life is too important to take seriously."

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

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Heng Heng Heng
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Re: Classic putdowns

Post by Heng Heng Heng » Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:13 am

You're so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece!
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Tarndog
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Re: Classic putdowns

Post by Tarndog » Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:19 am

StroppyChops wrote:
Thu Jun 07, 2018 11:25 pm
In the interests of political incorrectness, here's a list of truly brilliant putdowns, as posted on ABC News Australia:

Any to add?
One of my all-time faves: "I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire."
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tightenupvolume1
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Re: Classic putdowns

Post by tightenupvolume1 » Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:22 am

When i looked a bit down my dad would say "you've got a face like a bastards boot"

Charlie
a faint heart never fucked a pig
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tightenupvolume1
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Re: Classic putdowns

Post by tightenupvolume1 » Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:25 am

My dad also said that he thought pink floyd sounded like a fire in a pet shop

Charlie
a faint heart never fucked a pig
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