Girls being given away

Have questions or resources regarding Khmer Culture? This forum is all about the Kingdom of Cambodia's culture. Khmer language, Cambodian weddings, French influence, Cambodian architecture, Cambodian politics, Khmer customs, etc? This is the place. Living in Cambodia can cause you to experience a whole new level of culture shock, so feel free to talk about all things related to the Khmer people, and their traditions. And if you want something in Khmer script translated into English, you will probably find what you need.
explorer
Expatriate
Posts: 2417
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 9:37 pm
Reputation: 768
Australia

Girls being given away

Post by explorer »

In Cambodia girls are bought and sold.

To understand what really goes on, you need to understand peripheral issues. One of these is that girls are also given away. In some cases it can be boys, but more often it is girls.

In Cambodia, people believe it is important to have children to look after them in their old age. Some couples are unable to have children. In this situation a brother or sisters family often has children for them. These children are adopted by their new parents, but there is no legal process and no paperwork. They are just given to them. The children are told the truth. The children will tell you who their adoptive parents are and who their birth parents are. Their cousins are often their brothers and sisters. Families are often close.

This also can happen when a lady gets a bit older and it seems she is unlikely to get married. She may be given a child or children in the same way.

There were a lot of orphanages in Cambodia, which received money from donations. In order to get the donations they needed children. Some unscrupulous operators would go out to poor villages and pay money to the parents if they let their children come to the orphanage. When you understand this part of Cambodian culture, it is easy to see how people would let their children go to orphanages. Australia banned adoption from Cambodia several years ago, because it was discovered that many of the "orphans" actually had parents. It was just a money making scheme. The operators could not be trusted. This is not true of all these organizations. There are some good ones.

One girls parents separated, and her father got remarried before she was born. Her mother already had a new boyfriend. Soon after she was born, she was given to another lady, and her mother married her new boyfriend.

One lady got a new daughter from the hospital. The mother went to hospital to give birth. After giving birth, she just walked out of the hospital leaving the baby behind. The doctor gave the baby to this lady who already had sons but wanted a daughter. This type of thing is common when unmarried girls have babies in Cambodia.

Some of this is not unlike adoption in Australia, except in Australia there is a legal process to go through.

When you hear about girls being bought and sold, understand that giving girls away has also been a normal part of Cambodian culture. So people sell their daughters much more readily than they would in a Western Country.
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
pczz
Expatriate
Posts: 3204
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 1:00 pm
Reputation: 807
Location: phnom penh
Great Britain

Re: Girls being given away

Post by pczz »

My Khmer friend was sold at age 5 to be a servant for a family in Siem reap. This was towards the end of the troubles and served 2 purposes. 1 was to get her away form pp to somewhere safer and 2 was to provide money to feed the other 4 younger kids.
Said khmer frien had a child with a barang. Whil waitin to see a docto at hospital she was offered $2000 for her baby by a young couple who came out from the fertility clinic. SO she was sold as a girl and had an offer to buy her mostly white son. In fact girls around area 51 frequently sell their barang babies for $1000 and up. thyue cannot look after them and for some it may be a buiness. 9 months work for $2000 is noit bad for an uneducated woman.
Finally people really should stop turning their noses up at Khmer behaviour. they either have not studied history or have short memoried.
Exactly the same was common in the ukl up until probbal 1920'2 when orphanages started to appear. poor ate dogs and cats and rats and still do according to some reports.
explorer
Expatriate
Posts: 2417
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 9:37 pm
Reputation: 768
Australia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by explorer »

pczz wrote: Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:31 pm Finally people really should stop turning their noses up at Khmer behaviour.
Some girls who are not with their parents are treated very badly. We need to be honest and say that is wrong. It needs to be looked at on an individual basis.
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
explorer
Expatriate
Posts: 2417
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 9:37 pm
Reputation: 768
Australia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by explorer »

pczz wrote: Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:31 pm In fact girls around area 51 frequently sell their barang babies for $1000 and up. thyue cannot look after them and for some it may be a buiness. 9 months work for $2000 is not bad for an uneducated woman.
Imagine you break up with your girlfriend and she sells your child.
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
User avatar
RickyBobby
BANNED
Posts: 1086
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 12:44 pm
Reputation: 357
Cambodia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by RickyBobby »

My Lady, being second youngest of 6 went with her eldest sister at age 5 when the elder left to get married and move away to the boonies. It seems that the eldest helped already with the brood, and the idea was that she would be less lonely with her sister coming along, as well as that it would take the pressure of mama at home. She wasn't sold or anything of course, and this was about a 4 year arrangement.

While there, the grandparents asked for her. The father said yes, but the mother said no, absolutely not. They were visiting one day and just took her home. Her father had to go retrieve her and bring her back to her sister.
"Dear Lord Baby Jesus, Lyin in a Manger"
pczz
Expatriate
Posts: 3204
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 1:00 pm
Reputation: 807
Location: phnom penh
Great Britain

Re: Girls being given away

Post by pczz »

explorer wrote: Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:52 pm
pczz wrote: Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:31 pm In fact girls around area 51 frequently sell their barang babies for $1000 and up. thyue cannot look after them and for some it may be a buiness. 9 months work for $2000 is not bad for an uneducated woman.
Imagine you break up with your girlfriend and she sells your child.
That is not going to happen if i take responsibility for my child. Sadly too many western men just throw $100 at the girlfreind and tell her to get an abortion cos its not mine and trot of home or on to the next one
User avatar
StroppyChops
The Missionary Man
Posts: 10598
Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 11:24 am
Reputation: 1032
Australia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by StroppyChops »

RickyBobby wrote: Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:54 pm My Lady, being second youngest of 6 went with her eldest sister at age 5 when the elder left to get married and move away to the boonies. It seems that the eldest helped already with the brood, and the idea was that she would be less lonely with her sister coming along, as well as that it would take the pressure of mama at home. She wasn't sold or anything of course, and this was about a 4 year arrangement.

While there, the grandparents asked for her. The father said yes, but the mother said no, absolutely not. They were visiting one day and just took her home. Her father had to go retrieve her and bring her back to her sister.
Our team leader is the eldest sister in her sibling group, and after dad died was forced into the factories. After she was bought out by an NGO, her mother immediately sold her into an arranged marriage of which she wanted no part but felt obliged, as the mother was already receiving payments for her. We coached her through putting a stop to that (which included getting advice from other Khmer women) - and I don't give a damn if anyone thinks I don't understand the culture - which the mother accepted. The team member is almost due with the first baby of the next generation, and the grandmother-to-be immediately laid claim to the unborn child to care for her in her old age - which the team leader put a stop to.

I've seen the dynamics of which child is disposable/saleable/owned too many times to accept that I don't respect the culture. This crap needs to stop, and I stop it myself when I need to.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
User avatar
Username Taken
Raven
Posts: 13897
Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
Reputation: 5962
Cambodia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by Username Taken »

@explorer , have you researched this going back over the centuries? Or, could this be something that has evolved over the past few decades?
User avatar
markd
Expatriate
Posts: 406
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 6:16 am
Reputation: 66
Zimbabwe

Re: Girls being given away

Post by markd »

do you mean the bargirls around area 51?
thru shit to more shit
User avatar
John Bingham
Expatriate
Posts: 13674
Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:26 pm
Reputation: 8892
Cambodia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by John Bingham »

markd wrote: Wed Apr 03, 2019 11:11 pm do you mean the bargirls around area 51?
To understand what really goes on, you need to understand. You need to understand what goes on. Most foreigners don't understand. I understand Khmer, you don't understand. They are selling babies on every corner, you need to understand the culture to know this. The cops are in on it too, you need to understand. How many times have I got to repeat myself for you idiots?
Silence, exile, and cunning.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 163 guests