Duncan wrote: ↑Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:59 pm Since the start of this year 2019 I raised her daily allowance from 5;000r to 10;000r and she some days saves 5;000r and puts it in her piggy bank. By looking through
her book there was about $10 in there, but it's not about how much money, it's the principal of it all. Saving money, taking money that is not yours, and the lowest form of stealing , which is taking off your own kids.

It's not the first time that this has happened. Several years ago I started a joint account with her older sister and put a few extra dollars in it for her. The mother asked for the visacard password number from the daughter and took out what little money that was in there.
Sometimes it makes me want to give up.

If she treats the children like that, how is she going to treat you if you get sick or run out of money?

Lovely to see a child walk in to ACLEDA, bank her 10,000 riel and stare at the numbers getting bigger in her little book.

hanno wrote: ↑Thu Feb 07, 2019 5:03 am

explorer wrote: ↑Wed Feb 06, 2019 10:18 pmIf she treats the children like that, how is she going to treat you if you get sick or run out of money?

I hate to say it, but this was the first thought that came to my mind too. It might not be much money but it is the principle alright. I would be absolutely bloody furious if my Mrs. pulled a stunt like that.

Those with a wife and children already, when something like this happens, hopefully you can talk to her and help her understand. We hope thing go well for you.

Those who may get a girlfriend in the future, I suggest dating someone who has her own career, who does not expect to be provided with a regular income. If she works for money, she will have a different attitude towards it.

Date a girl from a family where the parents have a good attitude and values. Children learn from their parents, and will normally be like them. I can think of girls whose parents and grandparents are really decent people. The girls normally have a similar attitude and values.

Get to know any girl for a reasonable amount of time before deciding to commit to marriage, so you get a good idea what she is really like.

Before committing to marriage, talk to her about issues where there may be potential differences, so you both understand each other better.

There are some really decent girls in Cambodia, who would make good wives, but they are normally not the first girls you meet.

Still. Given all the cultural differences


Thats pretty fucked up.

Sir Duncan, make sure to always sleep with one eye open! If your wife really needed money for whatever reason, she could've just asked you instead of stealing from her own daughter, right? Why didn't she ask you though? Did you ask her that? Did you confront her about this or not? Is this even acceptable in the Cambodian culture?
Make sure she understands that you're not trying to make her "lose face". You just want to clear things up and make sure it doesn't happen again.
That's kind of fucked though. You're providing your kid with some serious life skills, and your wife is out there teaching her how to rob people and get away with it. Damn.

I’m not so sure that this is such a big deal from an Asian perspective. Property is owned collectively, and what is property of a child will be seen as belonging to the family - and the mother as ‘head’ of the family will be within her rights to use that for whatever way she sees fit.
We foreigners think of the individual, Asians think of the family unit.

I’m not defending it though & I’d probably still be annoyed if I was OP.

Queef wrote: ↑Thu Feb 07, 2019 11:14 am Sir Duncan, make sure to always sleep with one eye open! If your wife really needed money for whatever reason, she could've just asked you instead of stealing from her own daughter, right? Why didn't she ask you though? Did you ask her that? Did you confront her about this or not? Is this even acceptable in the Cambodian culture?
Make sure she understands that you're not trying to make her "lose face". You just want to clear things up and make sure it doesn't happen again.
That's kind of fucked though. You're providing your kid with some serious life skills, and your wife is out there teaching her how to rob people and get away with it. Damn.

Just to clear some facts up,,, The mother is not my wife or girlfriend, and the girls [ 4 ] are not my biological children although I treat them as and accept them as my daughters and my best friends.

As you all know, with some people if you give them money they will dispose of it very quickly and be back for more, which has happened many times so I dont give her any money any more. I just pay for all expenses as she works lots of overtime and brings home about $350 a month plus her oldest daughter works and gives her mother $140 every month. Thats $490 a month.

I take it you do not live together then.

Keep the piggy bank at your place since you are giving her/them an allowance. Sounds like you're great positive influence in the girls lives. Very commendable