Here you go - every picture in the gallery at this link is an item or items for sale, with prices included! BONUS: I've also put all sorts of asinine commentary in various places throughout! If you want to waste some time, not a lot of time, but an extra few seconds per item view in this sale, if that's the sort of time you want wasted, then step right up and kiss my ass! Here we go:

http://tinypic.com/a/37xg1/3

My number (well, "A" number): 092 208 936.

You can call. I may or may not answer. I'm pretty goddamned deaf from hearing damage. I know I mention that lot, and it's because you assholes keep insisting on calling me voice all the time even though I keep telling you that most of the time I can't understand a fucking word you're saying. Calling me up may well be as ill-fated as a Parent-Teacher's conferences episode of the Peanuts cartoon. That WAH WAH WAH gag is only funny for a few seconds. Do it for a few minutes or like an hour and it's an atrocity, it'd probably be a hanging offense at Nuremburg to make prisoner's watch it. And that's pretty much what you all sound like much of the time over the phone to me, no way around it. So fuck off with that. Send an SMS if I don't answer. Or just send one to begin with.

OK, enough cursing & complaining. Look over the items. IF the prices don't suit you, you can make an offer, but I can reject your offer, and I will if it's too low. I'm not due to board an international flight in 7 hours, I'm not on the run or escaping from anything, there's no pressure driving this sale but me, and I'm pretty goddamned laid back. Pretty much lazy. So I won't panic and give away the farm, don't bother with the last minute lowball technique, I pioneered it and executed it with devastating effect on so many Australian NGO volunteers they had to start an NGO in Australia to deal with all the bitter and emotionally scarred wrecked up sorts of people who lost a fortune in Rattan furniture to me with nothing to show for it but 20,000R added up from a pile of 100R excuses. Devastating. I love it, all that bamboo looking reed whatever furniture. Like lawn furniture for inside your house. Perfect. Anyways, for me there is no last minute. Everybody be cool and we'll get through this sale alive and unharmed. Or at least I will.

(FYI, look at http://imgur.com instead of tinypic next time. It's 90% less obnoxious.)