Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Ask us anything. Cambodia Expats Online has a huge community of long-term expats that can answer any question you may have about life in Cambodia. Have some questions you want to ask before you move to Cambodia? Ask them here. Our community can also answer any questions you have about how to find a job or what kind of work is available for expats in Cambodia, whether you're looking for info about Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, or anywhere else in the Kingdom. You're also welcome to ask about visa and work permit questions as well, as the immigration rules change often, especially since COVID-19. Don't be shy, ask CEO's community anything!
User avatar
takeoman
Expatriate
Posts: 524
Joined: Fri May 30, 2014 3:20 pm
Reputation: 88
Location: Takeo Province
Ireland

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by takeoman »

If it is just the one day ceremony, the only problem you face is the kneeling,sitting for the religious part,do make sure to either have a stand in, or a low chair to sit on. The, now fairly rare, three day affair is a more arduous under taking. You'll be told what to do and when to do it by those who are really in charge ie the photographer,or the video maker. Are the events taking place in Phnom Penh or the countryside? Attire tends to be more casual out here in the boonies. :hattip:
The most boring man in the World. Ever!
User avatar
StroppyChops
The Missionary Man
Posts: 10598
Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 11:24 am
Reputation: 1032
Australia

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops »

Thanks for the constructive comments - I'm a biker-member of the Ibuprofen chapter, so I think I'll be consuming above average on those days.

The knees/kneeling thing is definitely going to be a major issue that I'll just deal with, but I'm also hoping for advice on what to expect in terms of expectations on me surrounding the event. I haven't met the young man yet but we'll be doing that formally when she brings him to visit so I can put the fear of God (relax, heathens, I'm kidding) into him, but otherwise... gifts = money, that sort of thing?

Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
epidemiks
Expatriate
Posts: 1594
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 6:56 pm
Reputation: 514
Australia

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by epidemiks »


StroppyChops wrote:Thanks for the constructive comments - I'm a biker-member of the Ibuprofen chapter, so I think I'll be consuming above average on those days.

The knees/kneeling thing is definitely going to be a major issue that I'll just deal with, but I'm also hoping for advice on what to expect in terms of expectations on me surrounding the event. I haven't met the young man yet but we'll be doing that formally when she brings him to visit so I can put the fear of God (relax, heathens, I'm kidding) into him, but otherwise... gifts = money, that sort of thing?

Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
The parents of both receive the gifts brought by the groom's procession, but I don't recall that involving monks.

Achars do most of the interaction with the families, monks mostly sit and chant, iirc.

I would say the only expectations are you are present and follow instructions, and smile for the 43,000,000 photos that will be taken.

My wife's cousin was tasked with tailing my parents and translating any instructions they didn't understand throughout the whole thing so we didn't have to do so during the ceremony. Well worth lining someone up for the job if you can, saves interrupting the wedding party if the organisers don't have an English speaking crew.
User avatar
StroppyChops
The Missionary Man
Posts: 10598
Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 11:24 am
Reputation: 1032
Australia

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops »

epidemiks wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:02 pmMy wife's cousin was tasked with tailing my parents and translating any instructions they didn't understand throughout the whole thing so we didn't have to do so during the ceremony. Well worth lining someone up for the job if you can, saves interrupting the wedding party if the organisers don't have an English speaking crew.
Oh, that's covered, the bride speaks English so she can translate for me! :D
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
khmerhamster
Expatriate
Posts: 598
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2016 2:28 pm
Reputation: 348
Turkmenistan

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by khmerhamster »

StroppyChops wrote: Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
I don’t think there are too many interactions with the robed ones for the parents. But you may want to look into the any spiritual significances of the rituals to ensure that you are comfortable with them. I’m sure that there will be something online which explains significance.
User avatar
StroppyChops
The Missionary Man
Posts: 10598
Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 11:24 am
Reputation: 1032
Australia

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops »

khmerhamster wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:30 pm
StroppyChops wrote: Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
I don’t think there are too many interactions with the robed ones for the parents. But you may want to look into the any spiritual significances of the rituals to ensure that you are comfortable with them. I’m sure that there will be something online which explains significance.
Thanks. Yes, I've processed the faith/religion issues. I don't like it but I'm okay with others blessing me or chanting over me in the name of other gods, but I refuse to bow (literally or metaphorically) to other gods or their idols. To be fair, at Angkor Wat when handed an offering to lay before a particular idol at the entrance, I said "no thanks" repeatedly as the attendants repeatedly made clear what was expected. When I said "Christian" they smiled happily and let me pass. I thought that was very reasonable of them, given I was in a temple of their religion.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
User avatar
that genius
Expatriate
Posts: 4064
Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 7:53 am
Reputation: 960
Sweden

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by that genius »

You won't be too hot in your Santa outfit? :stir:
User avatar
StroppyChops
The Missionary Man
Posts: 10598
Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 11:24 am
Reputation: 1032
Australia

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops »

that genius wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 4:08 pm You won't be too hot in your Santa outfit? :stir:
Maybe it will rain, dear.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
epidemiks
Expatriate
Posts: 1594
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 6:56 pm
Reputation: 514
Australia

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by epidemiks »

StroppyChops wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:04 pm
epidemiks wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:02 pmMy wife's cousin was tasked with tailing my parents and translating any instructions they didn't understand throughout the whole thing so we didn't have to do so during the ceremony. Well worth lining someone up for the job if you can, saves interrupting the wedding party if the organisers don't have an English speaking crew.
Oh, that's covered, the bride speaks English so she can translate for me! :D
That was my point - the bride, on her wedding day, will be preoccupied with a hundred people fussing around her, and the last thing she probably wants to do is translate.

Plus, there'll be times when you're not in the same room/place, but required to do x, change into y, or stand near z, so a floating translator will be useful.
StroppyChops wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:36 pm
khmerhamster wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:30 pm
StroppyChops wrote: Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
I don’t think there are too many interactions with the robed ones for the parents. But you may want to look into the any spiritual significances of the rituals to ensure that you are comfortable with them. I’m sure that there will be something online which explains significance.
Thanks. Yes, I've processed the faith/religion issues. I don't like it but I'm okay with others blessing me or chanting over me in the name of other gods, but I refuse to bow (literally or metaphorically) to other gods or their idols. To be fair, at Angkor Wat when handed an offering to lay before a particular idol at the entrance, I said "no thanks" repeatedly as the attendants repeatedly made clear what was expected. When I said "Christian" they smiled happily and let me pass. I thought that was very reasonable of them, given I was in a temple of their religion.
There'll be times in the ceremony when the bride and groom do the three bows thing, but I'm almost certain it doesn't apply to the parents.

Might be wise to get the bride to tell the wedding organisers, if she hasn't already, to set some expectations amongst the party of what you will and might not participate in, but, on the whole, you'll be in the middle of a Buddhist wedding ceremony, so probably nice to give their ceremony as much respect and leeway as they will give you, like the temple visit you described.
User avatar
StroppyChops
The Missionary Man
Posts: 10598
Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 11:24 am
Reputation: 1032
Australia

Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops »

epidemiks wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 6:38 pm
StroppyChops wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:04 pm
epidemiks wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:02 pmMy wife's cousin was tasked with tailing my parents and translating any instructions they didn't understand throughout the whole thing so we didn't have to do so during the ceremony. Well worth lining someone up for the job if you can, saves interrupting the wedding party if the organisers don't have an English speaking crew.
Oh, that's covered, the bride speaks English so she can translate for me! :D
That was my point - the bride, on her wedding day, will be preoccupied with a hundred people fussing around her, and the last thing she probably wants to do is translate.
I kinda knew that!

Plus, there'll be times when you're not in the same room/place, but required to do x, change into y, or stand near z, so a floating translator will be useful.
StroppyChops wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:36 pm
khmerhamster wrote: Tue May 01, 2018 3:30 pm
StroppyChops wrote: Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
I don’t think there are too many interactions with the robed ones for the parents. But you may want to look into the any spiritual significances of the rituals to ensure that you are comfortable with them. I’m sure that there will be something online which explains significance.
Thanks. Yes, I've processed the faith/religion issues. I don't like it but I'm okay with others blessing me or chanting over me in the name of other gods, but I refuse to bow (literally or metaphorically) to other gods or their idols. To be fair, at Angkor Wat when handed an offering to lay before a particular idol at the entrance, I said "no thanks" repeatedly as the attendants repeatedly made clear what was expected. When I said "Christian" they smiled happily and let me pass. I thought that was very reasonable of them, given I was in a temple of their religion.
There'll be times in the ceremony when the bride and groom do the three bows thing, but I'm almost certain it doesn't apply to the parents.

Might be wise to get the bride to tell the wedding organisers, if she hasn't already, to set some expectations amongst the party of what you will and might not participate in, but, on the whole, you'll be in the middle of a Buddhist wedding ceremony, so probably nice to give their ceremony as much respect and leeway as they will give you, like the temple visit you described.
Great advice, thanks.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Doc67, ExPenhMan, Newinkow, Phazor11387, steevee, truffledog, yongchi, Zyzz and 325 guests