Oh, You Internet.
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13935
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 6004
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Funny things from the internet, related to Cambodia or not.
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13935
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 6004
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13935
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 6004
Re: Oh, You Internet.
If you've got nothing better to do, you've got to watch this. Absolutely amazingly talented woman.
Run time is 6:37, but you can stop after 2 mins.
Run time is 6:37, but you can stop after 2 mins.
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13935
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 6004
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Does anybody remember Tommy Cooper?
1. Two blondes walk into a building ........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day - but I couldn't find any.
5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.
7. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
11. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. '
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'
12. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'
13. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom.'
'How's that?'
'Don't you start.'
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'
I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it..'
16. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
17. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bastard!'
18. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
19. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
20. A man walked into the doctor's, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more'
21. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
1. Two blondes walk into a building ........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day - but I couldn't find any.
5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.
7. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
11. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. '
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'
12. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'
13. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom.'
'How's that?'
'Don't you start.'
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'
I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it..'
16. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
17. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bastard!'
18. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
19. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
20. A man walked into the doctor's, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more'
21. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13935
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 6004
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 2068
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:23 am
- Reputation: 8
Re: Oh, You Internet.
super!Username Taken wrote:Does anybody remember Tommy Cooper?
.
even when he was dying people were laughing!
if you like quick jokes check put tim vine
i am on these blocked lists;
pucketrichard
hotdgr
sailorman
rozzieoz
stroppychops
pucketrichard
hotdgr
sailorman
rozzieoz
stroppychops
- bolueeleh
- Expatriate
- Posts: 4448
- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:39 am
- Reputation: 842
- Location: anywhere with cheap bonks
Re: Oh, You Internet.
no way! really?Username Taken wrote:
Money is not the problem, the problem is no money
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13935
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 6004
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Aussie barbecue with built in drink cooler.
When finished, just pull the handle to extinguish the fire.
When finished, just pull the handle to extinguish the fire.
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13935
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 6004
- Kung-fu Hillbilly
- Expatriate
- Posts: 4165
- Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 11:26 am
- Reputation: 4980
- Location: Behind you.
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Me when monsoon hits.
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
- 6 Replies
- 4206 Views
-
Last post by DavidFieldman
-
- 3 Replies
- 6532 Views
-
Last post by fsdfdsdf
-
- 4 Replies
- 4062 Views
-
Last post by Bluenose
-
- 11 Replies
- 7302 Views
-
Last post by mossie
-
- 10 Replies
- 4559 Views
-
Last post by newkidontheblock
-
- 7 Replies
- 1507 Views
-
Last post by whereami
-
- 10 Replies
- 6817 Views
-
Last post by twensolr91
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: IraHayes, JUDGEDREDD, Roryborealis and 357 guests