The Coffee Saga
- vladimir
- The Pun-isher
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The Coffee Saga
So the wifey was sick last night, so no iced coffee this morning. I need my fix, and like a naive fool, I ride off into the sunrise thinking that this will be an easy task in a country saturated with coffee sellers...LOGIC...FAIL!
Stop 1. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They are busy, so I wait maybe 10 minutes. Eventually, the owner comes out to check my order...repeat. 5 minutes later he emerges with pork and rice. I clarify, biting my tongue and reminding myself about the blood pressure. He scuttles back in and emerges again with a Coke. I depart.
Stop 2. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They stand and stare at me. I ask again...more staring, one scuttles off to find an English linguist. She merges. I ask again. Yes, yes, we have. She goes into the back of the store and comes out with a packet of instant coffee. I ask again, no, we don't sell. I ride off, the pressure is building...
Stop 3. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They bring me a cup of hot coffee with amazing rapidity. I explain I want iced coffee;'Cannot'. My knuckles whiten on the handlebar, my teeth clench, yet still by some miracle I do not dismember the messenger on the spot. I ride off.
Stop 4. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They go into the back, and bring me an iced coffee...in a glass. I explain that I am on a bike (just in case they hadn't noticed) and they scramble back apologetically to give it to me in a plastic cup and one of those plastic holders. It arrives. There is no cover for the cup. I explain again that I am on a bike, and I need the cover for the cup. Ot mien...my BP is now about 300/200. The waitress scuttles off to find one at another coffee shop down the road. I ma saying repeatedly, 'Thou shalt not murder, thou shalt not murder...'
10 minutes later, she returns with the cover.
I have my coffee!
Do not ask me how they built Angkor Wat, I have no fecking idea.
Stop 1. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They are busy, so I wait maybe 10 minutes. Eventually, the owner comes out to check my order...repeat. 5 minutes later he emerges with pork and rice. I clarify, biting my tongue and reminding myself about the blood pressure. He scuttles back in and emerges again with a Coke. I depart.
Stop 2. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They stand and stare at me. I ask again...more staring, one scuttles off to find an English linguist. She merges. I ask again. Yes, yes, we have. She goes into the back of the store and comes out with a packet of instant coffee. I ask again, no, we don't sell. I ride off, the pressure is building...
Stop 3. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They bring me a cup of hot coffee with amazing rapidity. I explain I want iced coffee;'Cannot'. My knuckles whiten on the handlebar, my teeth clench, yet still by some miracle I do not dismember the messenger on the spot. I ride off.
Stop 4. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They go into the back, and bring me an iced coffee...in a glass. I explain that I am on a bike (just in case they hadn't noticed) and they scramble back apologetically to give it to me in a plastic cup and one of those plastic holders. It arrives. There is no cover for the cup. I explain again that I am on a bike, and I need the cover for the cup. Ot mien...my BP is now about 300/200. The waitress scuttles off to find one at another coffee shop down the road. I ma saying repeatedly, 'Thou shalt not murder, thou shalt not murder...'
10 minutes later, she returns with the cover.
I have my coffee!
Do not ask me how they built Angkor Wat, I have no fecking idea.
Jesus loves you...Mexico is great, right?
Re: The Coffee Saga
Amusing story and noble quest and all, but where the heck are you hanging out?
In most market areas, there are plenty of well prepared coffee drinks sellers, and even on the major roads there are coffee pushcarts and the easy-to-spot Ueda coffee tuk-tuks (though I don't know what the coffee is worth).
In most market areas, there are plenty of well prepared coffee drinks sellers, and even on the major roads there are coffee pushcarts and the easy-to-spot Ueda coffee tuk-tuks (though I don't know what the coffee is worth).
Disclaimer: I don't actually look like my avatar.
- JBTrain
- Expatriate
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Re: The Coffee Saga
Much of which may be "coffee" in name only and rather the industrial Viet soy product which put our old friend Akira out of the coffee business.Joon wrote:Amusing story and noble quest and all, but where the heck are you hanging out?
In most market areas, there are plenty of well prepared coffee drinks sellers, and even on the major roads there are coffee pushcarts and the easy-to-spot Ueda coffee tuk-tuks (though I don't know what the coffee is worth).
Using Tapatalk
Re: The Coffee Saga
Thanks, vlad, for my first Wednesday morning laugh!
Re: The Coffee Saga
At many of the local coffee shops i find the iced coffee (or whatever it is) to be pretty disgusting. Way too strong and sweet.
If i run out of the Nescafe packets at home I prefer to stop at the minimart for the small canned coffee drinks.
If i run out of the Nescafe packets at home I prefer to stop at the minimart for the small canned coffee drinks.
- JBTrain
- Expatriate
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Re: The Coffee Saga
Buy beans. Premium Lao $7/kilo
"additives used to turn soy beans into coffee-like beans, which include coffee flavorings, foam-making substance Sodium Lauryl Sulfate mainly used to make shampoo or dish-soap, industrial color powders and Carboxymethyl Cellulose (CMC), can contain impurities and heavy metals like mercury and lead, which may lead to cancers if used for a long time.
Doctor Tran Van Ky warned that the abuse of the antibiotic Chloramphenicol can poison human livers, bone marrow and kidneys, while chemical sugar Sodium Cyclamate, which is 50 times sweeter than normal sugar, can bring users cancers or Down syndrome.
A veteran fake coffee producer in suburban HCMC, who wanted to be identified as T. only, used 15 types of chemicals for his "special coffee."Â
http://thanhniennews.com/society/coffee ... -5604.html
"additives used to turn soy beans into coffee-like beans, which include coffee flavorings, foam-making substance Sodium Lauryl Sulfate mainly used to make shampoo or dish-soap, industrial color powders and Carboxymethyl Cellulose (CMC), can contain impurities and heavy metals like mercury and lead, which may lead to cancers if used for a long time.
Doctor Tran Van Ky warned that the abuse of the antibiotic Chloramphenicol can poison human livers, bone marrow and kidneys, while chemical sugar Sodium Cyclamate, which is 50 times sweeter than normal sugar, can bring users cancers or Down syndrome.
A veteran fake coffee producer in suburban HCMC, who wanted to be identified as T. only, used 15 types of chemicals for his "special coffee."Â
http://thanhniennews.com/society/coffee ... -5604.html
Using Tapatalk
- Satiated Parrot
- Expatriate
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Re: The Coffee Saga
Probably a stupid question, but does this coffee by-product contain caffeine?
And since it's made of soy, shall we sell it to hippies?
Sent from my GT-I9305 using Tapatalk
And since it's made of soy, shall we sell it to hippies?
Sent from my GT-I9305 using Tapatalk
-
- Site Admin
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Re: The Coffee Saga
Seriously. I can wander around in little provincial towns and land an iced coffee with my shitty khmer mixed with some english and sign language with more success than this quixotic tale, lol.Joon wrote:Amusing story and noble quest and all, but where the heck are you hanging out?
Granted... I was looking for an auto parts store.
- General Mackevili
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Re: The Coffee Saga
LoL, nothing can cause you to catch/develop Down Syndrome.JBTrain wrote:... chemical sugar Sodium Cyclamate, which is 50 times sweeter than normal sugar, can bring users cancers or Down syndrome.
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