“It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by Anchor Moy » Sat Jul 13, 2019 10:24 pm

xandreu wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 8:48 pm
Cambodia, to me, seems to be about two or three generations behind - I'd like to say the rest of the world, but that wouldn't be true - many western cultures, when it comes to attitudes to what goes on behind closed doors.

I was a kid in the UK in the 1970's, and the attitude there and then was similar to what it is here and now. Men would beat their wives, (a few, not at all the majority), but their wives would feel helpless with no-where to go for help. It was kind of accepted (in hushed tones) by the community, that the general feeling was that if a woman was being beaten by her husband, it was easier to assume she must have done something wrong rather than take the attitude that the husband was simply a violent thug and someone should intervene. Friends, family and the community at large were aware that things weren't right but were very reluctant to intervene, because the assumption was, what goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. People simply didn't interfere in other people's marriages.

I can't go into too much detail but I've had a couple of instances through my work here where I've had not only suspicions, but pretty strong evidence that certain individuals were probably being violently abused at home, but when bringing the issue up with (Khmer) colleagues (people I think of of as not only work colleagues but close friends), I was strongly advised about two things. One, was not to bring up the issue with them. And the other, more importantly, was not to bring up the issue with the individuals involved.

The message was, in no uncertain terms, don't get involved.

It's a sad state of affairs and, as I said, very reminiscent of my own culture two or three generations ago.

I just hope that sooner rather than later, Khmer culture changes with regards to these issues.
Agree with you. As I said, I think that attitudes toward domestic violence are changing in Cambodia, but it will take time as it did in western countries.
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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by John Bingham » Sat Jul 13, 2019 10:55 pm

Well, just to play the devil's advocate and also reflect my experiences, I have found that Cambodian mothers tend to be far more disciplinarian and use corporal punishment far more readily than fathers. Almost every Cambodian I know is far more terrified of their mother/ grandmother than their father/ grandfather. There are of course many families that suffer because the fathers are are drunken and extremely abusive fuck-ups, but it often takes two to tango. I'm personally against using any type of violence/ beating because I don't believe it is effective compared to reasoned speech, and I believe that violence begets violence and the cycle needs to be broken. Just in case anyone was wondering, I grew up in a relatively calm home but got battered to bits the odd time too, and it's something I still resent because I never really understood it.
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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by Anchor Moy » Sat Jul 13, 2019 11:17 pm

John Bingham wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 10:55 pm
Well, just to play the devil's advocate and also reflect my experiences, I have found that Cambodian mothers tend to be far more disciplinarian and use corporal punishment far more readily than fathers. Almost every Cambodian I know is far more terrified of their mother/ grandmother than their father/ grandfather.
Holy hell yes. Some of those grandmas are severe. :whip: And in my experience, the fathers are often softer than the mothers, especially with their daughters. And most families (AFAIK) are not beating their kids at all, and most men don't beat their wives either.

However, on the subject of who gets blamed when Cambodian girls or women get beaten by the menfolk in the family, i still agree that many will say that the women/girls are to blame for not behaving better.
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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by CEOCambodiaNews » Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:12 pm

The Fight to End Violence Against Women in the Asia-Pacific Region
By Caley Pigliucci
[excerpts]
UNITED NATIONS, Jul 12 2019 (IPS) - Parliamentarians met in Laos last week to discuss violence against women and girls.

The meeting was organized by the Asian Population and Development Association (APDA) and hosted by the National Assembly of Laos.

It was a chance to push parliamentarians to continue developing programs to protect women. For the Members of Parliament (MPs) who participated, it was an opportunity to demonstrate how they are already increasing protections for women and girls who face physical and sexual violence, and to commit to doing even more for their security.

The discussions held by the APDA and participating organizations, (International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF), Plan International, and UN Women) focused on the specific challenges and progress made within the region.

The National Assembly hoped the meeting would give knowledge and voice to violence against women and girls. They note that “Parliamentarians play a lead role in advocacy, policy making, and monitoring in relation to the prevention of violence against women and girls and other women-related laws and policies in their countries. They can hold governments accountable for the implementation of laws and policies.”

A Cambodian Member of Parliament, Damry Ouk, told IPS the meeting was a place where Cambodia could “share with other countries about the empowerment of women [both in and outside of Cambodia].”

Ouk articulated that the particular focus for Cambodia was on “labor, education, the decision-making process (public service and political participation) and the rights-based approach that promotes choice and access to social services including institutional health deliveries.”

In Cambodia, the Law on the Prevention of Domestic Violence and the Protection of Victims (September 16, 2005), is meant to aid women who are victims of domestic violence.

It states that “Domestic violence is required to be prevented in time effectively and efficiently and that it is required to take the most appropriate measures in order to protect the victims or the persons who could be vulnerable.”

This includes sexual aggression, which involves: “Violent sex, Sexual harassment, and Indecent exposures.” A further explanation of sexual harassment or violent sex is not offered. Marital rape is not specifically referred to, though it may be included in violent sex.

According a report out of UNFPA in 2017, 33% of women in the region have experienced violence in the region of Kampong Cham, Cambodia.

The UNFPA and Cambodia have been working to combat this through the Partners for Prevention Regional Joint Programme that trains participants to share knowledge to caregivers and community members to prevent violence against women and girls.

But still, according to Tuladhar, not enough progress has been made in the Asia-Pacific region to combat violence against women and children.

“While most countries in the region prohibit domestic violence, many still do not include marital rape or violence by an unmarried intimate partner,” Tuladhar said.

She says that legislation in place to protect women in countries like Cambodia can be undermined by several factors including “limited awareness and knowledge of existing laws, barriers to reporting violence, bias, unresponsive or weak capacity among service providers (health, police, judiciary, shelter, psychosocial support providers), and legal systems and courts that are insensitive to the needs of survivors of violence.”

Full article: http://www.ipsnews.net/2019/07/fight-en ... ic-region/
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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by Robins » Wed Jul 31, 2019 12:38 am

Anthony's Weiner wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:49 pm
Robins wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:27 pm
Yes, domestic violence is a problem, but much of it is exaggerated. This is not my opinion, it's based on 20 years of law enforcement experience in California followed by 10 years as a lawyer representing police officers in matters related to their employment. Many of these clients were accused of DV and it was a double disaster for them since a conviction could result in the loss of their ability to possess a weapon and end their careers. Amazing how fast the cases fell apart when the wife was put on the witness stand.

Fake claims of DV were extremely common in divorces during which child custody was at issue, and while it might surprise some people, female judges were actually harder on women making these claims than male judges. That poor helpless manipulative female act does not work well on women judges.

The worst one had to be the woman who got facial cosmetic surgery to fix her baggy eyelids and add a chin. This woman told anyone that would listen that the reason for her facial trauma was that her husband had beaten her. When she made this claim at her children's school, they notified children's protective services and the husband was arrested, totally blind to why it was happening. He spent 5 days in custody before I got a subpoena served on the plastic surgeon. After a phone conversation between the DA and the doctor he was released, and the case was dropped entirely when they got the medical file and the date of the claimed beating matched the date of the surgery.

That's how wicked some women can be, and they often plan divorces months before the man even knows something is wrong.

Finally, and I cannot resist, if some women knew when to STFU, there would be far fewer incidents
. For some reason, they have to get in the last word.
Same with those damned unarmed coloured boys, if they just shut up cops wouldn' t have to kill so many of them. Thank God one needs an education to be a cop now
That's about the intelligence level I'd expect from anyone who uses a name Anthony's Weiner. I'm sure you add a lot of constructive input to any subject you touch.
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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by clutchcargo » Wed Jul 31, 2019 8:56 am

^^^^^^^

No more insults from either of you or I clean this topic up. Stay on topic please. Thanks
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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by rozzieoz » Wed Jul 31, 2019 11:55 am

atst wrote:Nobody asks the question what drives a normal kind loving man to strike out in the attempt to get away when cornered and cannot excape
Of course the man is the victim in all of this.
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by rozzieoz » Wed Jul 31, 2019 11:57 am

atst wrote:Again I state it's not acceptable for any man or woman to hit thier parter
But I know from experience that some women I'm not saying all take advantage of the laws and falsely accused there partner of domestic violence
FACT
And many more men lie and claim their partner falsely accused them.
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by rozzieoz » Wed Jul 31, 2019 12:01 pm

Robins wrote: Finally, and I cannot resist, if some women knew when to STFU, there would be far fewer incidents. For some reason, they have to get in the last word.
Seriously? If some men knew when to walk away fewer people would get hurt.
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
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Re: “It’s your fault!” – Domestic abuse study in Cambodia

Post by Captain Bonez » Wed Jul 31, 2019 12:48 pm

No reason to hit a woman?

Keep your money in your socks and fuck with your socks on

̿ ̿'̿'̿\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿
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