atst wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 10:22 pm

Anthony's Weiner wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:07 pm

atst wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:52 pm

angkorjohn2 wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:42 pm

atst wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:28 pm

There's always two sides to every story have you never had an argument with wife/ girlfriend everyone s tolerance level is different
When you have children sometimes they do things that test your tolerance level also it's all part of being a good father/husband
I'm not condoning it but it doesn't happen for no reason

Quite often it is due to alcohol or drug use, archaic cultural stereotypes of a woman's place, and normalization of violence towards women and children in this country, if those are adequate "reasons" for you then I pity your poor wife

Not very nice attacking me read again what I said I don't condone it
There's plenty of Aussie guys living with there mum's after losing everything to a cheating lying wife that never Lost it and stuck their wives
I bet if it was a guy that did the same to you you'll be quick to punch him

The topic is about violence against Khmer women by Khmer men, you don't condone it, but find a way to justify it and then bring Aussie men into it, here is an interesting statistic for you. 1 in 3 Australian women have experienced at least one incident of violence from a current or former partner since the age of 15. surely you are not suggesting that 1 in 3 Australian women is a liar and a cheater are you?

Now back on topic and no justification please, as a man that hits a woman deserves no pity, over 30% ( approximately 1 in 3 ) Cambodian women had experienced physical, sexual, emotional or economic intimate partner violence experience in her lifetime. Surely you would not suggest that 1 in 3 Cambodian women is a liar and a cheater would you? If you did, it would certainly make it uncomfortable when you go out for a drink with three of your top bloke married Australian friends.

One of my top Aussie bloke drinking partners spent $14000 defending himself on false domestic violence accusations final outcome she never turned up in Court he was still $14000 out of pocket for what oh yes his lovely wife lied
Maybe you do gooders need to accept there's a real world out there and it's not all roses

I read on April 19th, 2019 an Australian in NSW that was charged with having sex with dogs 19 times and stealing 100s of pairs of women's underwear.
https://au.news.yahoo.com/nsw-man-court ... 03966.html

I also read on May 10, 2019, an Australian in Canberra after meeting a convicted killer on an internet dating site where the pair discussed cross-dressing and bestiality, was charged with conspiring to commit bestiality.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-05-10/ ... l/11099172

Despite having two recent pieces of evidence as opposed to a single anecdote as you have, as a do-gooder, I don't assume it is common for Australians to engage in this kind of behaviour, though obviously, some do. When I meet an Australian, I start with the assumption that he is a top bloke and don't fear for my dog's chastity, call me a do-gooder for this type of thinking if you want.

As others have already said, this study relates to domestic violence in CAMBODIA. What happens in Australia or the US has little to do with the situation here.

IMO there are a few flaws in the OP study, but the basic principle of the report is that female victims of domestic violence in Cambodia are often blamed for not behaving according to traditional Khmer cultural expectations, in other words, they get "victim-blamed" by their fellow Cambodians. I'd agree with that, but I think things are changing.
I'd also like to add something that is not taken into account in the study (which is chiefly focused on violence against women), that there is also a lot of domestic violence throughout the family, where old parents and young children are also victims.
All this to say that there is a lot of domestic violence in Cambodia generally, and not all of it is directed at women, but when the victim is a woman who acts outside of acceptable cultural norms, then there are chances that many Cambodians will say that the woman victim is in some way to blame, and public opinion often excuses men for hitting their wife or lover because of drunkenness or jealousy.

However, the good news is that this attitude seems to be changing: You can tell by the large number of comments on social media in support of beaten women, even women who are considered 'slutty', and you can tell by the fact that once untouchable men can no longer beat up or torture their mistresses without causing a scandal. Some of them get demoted, or even go to jail.
Society is changing fast in Cambodia. Attitudes to women are changing too. Not fast enough, but it's definitely happening.

Robins wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:27 pm Yes, domestic violence is a problem, but much of it is exaggerated..

Back on track this is Cambodia. It is actually a fact that it is not exaggerated and is often unreported AWs stats of 1 in 3 are correct in what is declared but it is expected to be higher in reality. You also state it is not an opinion but give nothing to back it up just your "experience " as lawyer and a California cop.... Like those two professions are known to be 100% accurate and honest.... You're probably the type that blames women for being raped and that they all make it up based on that one time you heard someone made it up back in 1987

Anchor Moy wrote: ↑Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:45 am As others have already said, this study relates to domestic violence in CAMBODIA. What happens in Australia or the US has little to do with the situation here.

IMO there are a few flaws in the OP study, but the basic principle of the report is that female victims of domestic violence in Cambodia are often blamed for not behaving according to traditional Khmer cultural expectations, in other words, they get "victim-blamed" by their fellow Cambodians. I'd agree with that, but I think things are changing.
I'd also like to add something that is not taken into account in the study (which is chiefly focused on violence against women), that there is also a lot of domestic violence throughout the family, where old parents and young children are also victims.
All this to say that there is a lot of domestic violence in Cambodia generally, and not all of it is directed at women, but when the victim is a woman who acts outside of acceptable cultural norms, then there are chances that many Cambodians will say that the woman victim is in some way to blame, and public opinion often excuses men for hitting their wife or lover because of drunkenness or jealousy.

However, the good news is that this attitude seems to be changing: You can tell by the large number of comments on social media in support of beaten women, even women who are considered 'slutty', and you can tell by the fact that once untouchable men can no longer beat up or torture their mistresses without causing a scandal. Some of them get demoted, or even go to jail.
Society is changing fast in Cambodia. Attitudes to women are changing too. Not fast enough, but it's definitely happening.

This. Members: please stay on topic as it relates to Cambodia.

atst wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:52 pm

angkorjohn2 wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:42 pm

atst wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:28 pm

fax wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:00 pm

atst wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2019 4:59 pm Nobody asks the question what drives a normal kind loving man to strike out in the attempt to get away when cornered and cannot excape

What? It sounds like you could tell us.

There's always two sides to every story have you never had an argument with wife/ girlfriend everyone s tolerance level is different
When you have children sometimes they do things that test your tolerance level also it's all part of being a good father/husband
I'm not condoning it but it doesn't happen for no reason

Quite often it is due to alcohol or drug use, archaic cultural stereotypes of a woman's place, and normalization of violence towards women and children in this country, if those are adequate "reasons" for you then I pity your poor wife

Not very nice attacking me read again what I said I don't condone it
There's plenty of Aussie guys living with there mum's after losing everything to a cheating lying wife that never Lost it and stuck their wives
I bet if it was a guy that did the same to you you'll be quick to punch him

What do your rants have to do with the topic? This thread is not about Australian men who have (apparently) been ripped off by females and living with their mother.

atst lives with his mother. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

fax wrote: ↑Fri Jul 12, 2019 9:53 am atst lives with his mother. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Fax is right again
Yes I do twice a year when I go to NZ to visit her
But that's off subject

Cambodia, to me, seems to be about two or three generations behind - I'd like to say the rest of the world, but that wouldn't be true - many western cultures, when it comes to attitudes to what goes on behind closed doors.

I was a kid in the UK in the 1970's, and the attitude there and then was similar to what it is here and now. Men would beat their wives, (a few, not at all the majority), but their wives would feel helpless with no-where to go for help. It was kind of accepted (in hushed tones) by the community, that the general feeling was that if a woman was being beaten by her husband, it was easier to assume she must have done something wrong rather than take the attitude that the husband was simply a violent thug and someone should intervene. Friends, family and the community at large were aware that things weren't right but were very reluctant to intervene, because the assumption was, what goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. People simply didn't interfere in other people's marriages.

I can't go into too much detail but I've had a couple of instances through my work here where I've had not only suspicions, but pretty strong evidence that certain individuals were probably being violently abused at home, but when bringing the issue up with (Khmer) colleagues (people I think of of as not only work colleagues but close friends), I was strongly advised about two things. One, was not to bring up the issue with them. And the other, more importantly, was not to bring up the issue with the individuals involved.

The message was, in no uncertain terms, don't get involved.

It's a sad state of affairs and, as I said, very reminiscent of my own culture two or three generations ago.

I just hope that sooner rather than later, Khmer culture changes with regards to these issues.

xandreu wrote: ↑Sat Jul 13, 2019 8:48 pm Cambodia, to me, seems to be about two or three generations behind - I'd like to say the rest of the world, but that wouldn't be true - many western cultures, when it comes to attitudes to what goes on behind closed doors.

I was a kid in the UK in the 1970's, and the attitude there and then was similar to what it is here and now. Men would beat their wives, (a few, not at all the majority), but their wives would feel helpless with no-where to go for help. It was kind of accepted (in hushed tones) by the community, that the general feeling was that if a woman was being beaten by her husband, it was easier to assume she must have done something wrong rather than take the attitude that the husband was simply a violent thug and someone should intervene. Friends, family and the community at large were aware that things weren't right but were very reluctant to intervene, because the assumption was, what goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. People simply didn't interfere in other people's marriages.

Back then even the laws stated that it was ok for a husband to discipline his wife, and kids for that matter. Lay hands on your kids today and you’re in jail or at least get a fat fine.

Totally agree, two or three decades behind.