Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

numacsys · Post by **numacsys** » Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:20 pm

I extended help to a tuktuk driver aka friend a few years ago. He had a tuktuk linked to an ancient moto and he was deathly thin. He relied on that tuktuk to feed his wife and daughter. Problem was the other tuktuks were operating mafia style. They all grabbed the morning commuters leaving the apartment I lived in. So I offered the guy a monthly "salary" of $250 on the condition he takes me anywhere I want to go within the city. I still can't forget the ear to ear smile, that happiness etched on his face.

To this very day, he remains a good friend. He no longer drives a tuktuk. I paid for him to enroll and study in the gendarmerie training school in Kambol (something he always wanted to do but couldn't afford). He finished the training and now works for the army with a salary of 1 million riels. Not much but the army is one entity that will definitely outlast and outlive economic hardships in this country. This ensures a regular monthly salary until he reaches pension age. Every time we visit his parents, I can feel how profusely thankful they are for this gift.

I would help anyone who believes and knows that if there's a will, there's always a way. Irrespective of gender.

Wolf359 · Post by **Wolf359** » Tue Jul 21, 2020 7:56 pm

As they often have children to support and a good for nothing husband who ran out on them and/or spends his day drinking away their grocery budget, yes sometimes. Some lady walking around touristy areas with her clearly drugged up toddler begging for milk money? Hell no. But I'll still give to old men and people like the dude with no hands who begs at the night market. That's a tough spot to be in and I can't help but give a few bucks. Though it has occurred to me and always lingers in the back of my mind that those old men could have been involved in some terrible things 40-50 years ago.

SternAAlbifrons · Post by **SternAAlbifrons** » Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:14 am

Kohker wrote: ↑Sat Jul 18, 2020 2:50 pm
There was an old guy in shitsville and Phnom Penh years ago with both his arms missing and his chest covered in scar's, I always felt sorry for him until I found out he was a Khmer rouge bomb Maker, after not so much.

Maybe you were given wrong information.
Or maybe this guy was just not your average "Khmer rouge bomb maker"

Many years ago a study came out comparing the situation of different groups of amputees in Cambodia.
Amputtees in former KR dominated areas were miles ahead on every indicator - because they relied on themselves and their local community.

Those that fell under the care of foreign charities, the gov, and the begging "victim" routine became just that - victims.

Kohker · Post by **Kohker** » Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:14 am

SternAAlbifrons wrote: ↑Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:14 am
Kohker wrote: ↑Sat Jul 18, 2020 2:50 pm
There was an old guy in shitsville and Phnom Penh years ago with both his arms missing and his chest covered in scar's, I always felt sorry for him until I found out he was a Khmer rouge bomb Maker, after not so much.
Maybe you were given wrong information.
Or maybe this guy was just not your average "Khmer rouge bomb maker"

I've always found former Khmer rouge to be very forthcoming with their history.

Austman · Post by **Austman** » Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:54 am

Wolf359 wrote: ↑Tue Jul 21, 2020 7:56 pm As they often have children to support and a good for nothing husband who ran out on them and/or spends his day drinking away their grocery budget, yes sometimes. Some lady walking around touristy areas with her clearly drugged up toddler begging for milk money? Hell no. But I'll still give to old men and people like the dude with no hands who begs at the night market. That's a tough spot to be in and I can't help but give a few bucks. Though it has occurred to me and always lingers in the back of my mind that those old men could have been involved in some terrible things 40-50 years ago.
[/quote
Don't hold back lady.. Good for nothing? they are keeping the anchor brewery employees in a job!
In war there is only two victims the winner and the loser!
Even 40 or 50 years ago!
Maybe thats why they drink to try and forget what they had to do to survive or what there parents went through after!
Only the uneducated people survived ?

SternAAlbifrons · Post by **SternAAlbifrons** » Wed Jul 22, 2020 6:03 am

Yes K, ^^^ could well be true that the guy was a KR bomb maker. Sorry, i guess i should have stuck to my main point.
ie, the report about how former KR amputees were generally found to have a higher level of self-reliance, and much better total lifestyle indicators, than those that went down the usual charity/victim route.

Incidently, i read about that study in the Cambodia Daily about 15 years ago and tracked down the actual paper. Extensive study, facinating findings.
Have looked for it since, but not been able to find it.

In about 2012, approx 50 assorted amputee "experts" from all the main orgs in this field had a big conference in the provincial town where i live. (but no actual amputees to be seen of course)
I asked a number of them if they had heard of this study - not one had.
And they all looked at me like i was Pol Pot reincarnated when i told them about its findings.

I hate the "victim" thing across the board. Even as a dogooder, greenie, lefty i recognise how toxic it is.
No1 job of charities, ngos, governments is to build up peoples self respect. Unfortunately many well intentioned charities instill a victim mentality instead.

(but i still hand a bit out to beggers, usually via my wife (KR upbringing until age 10). She is a softie too, but with much better discernment than me - usually to the old, small notes.)

Wolf359 · Post by **Wolf359** » Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:54 pm

Austman wrote: ↑Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:54 am
Wolf359 wrote: ↑Tue Jul 21, 2020 7:56 pm As they often have children to support and a good for nothing husband who ran out on them and/or spends his day drinking away their grocery budget, yes sometimes. Some lady walking around touristy areas with her clearly drugged up toddler begging for milk money? Hell no. But I'll still give to old men and people like the dude with no hands who begs at the night market. That's a tough spot to be in and I can't help but give a few bucks. Though it has occurred to me and always lingers in the back of my mind that those old men could have been involved in some terrible things 40-50 years ago.
[/quote
Don't hold back lady.. Good for nothing? they are keeping the anchor brewery employees in a job!
In war there is only two victims the winner and the loser!
Even 40 or 50 years ago!
Maybe thats why they drink to try and forget what they had to do to survive or what there parents went through after!
Only the uneducated people survived ?
Curious that you assume I'm a woman for acknowledging the fact that a lot of men (local and foreigners) here are good for nothing drunks who dump and run on their families. Though I suppose you could blame part of that on the women because many have a tendency to coddle the hell out of boys with no expectations or work ethic instilled then wonder why that doesn't magically blossom into a functioning responsible adult at 18 or so.

Austman · Post by **Austman** » Thu Jul 23, 2020 10:05 am

Wolf359 wrote: ↑Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:54 pm
Austman wrote: ↑Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:54 am
Wolf359 wrote: ↑Tue Jul 21, 2020 7:56 pm As they often have children to support and a good for nothing husband who ran out on them and/or spends his day drinking away their grocery budget, yes sometimes. Some lady walking around touristy areas with her clearly drugged up toddler begging for milk money? Hell no. But I'll still give to old men and people like the dude with no hands who begs at the night market. That's a tough spot to be in and I can't help but give a few bucks. Though it has occurred to me and always lingers in the back of my mind that those old men could have been involved in some terrible things 40-50 years ago.
[/quote
Don't hold back lady.. Good for nothing? they are keeping the anchor brewery employees in a job!
In war there is only two victims the winner and the loser!
Even 40 or 50 years ago!
Maybe thats why they drink to try and forget what they had to do to survive or what there parents went through after!
Only the uneducated people survived ?
Curious that you assume I'm a woman for acknowledging the fact that a lot of men (local and foreigners) here are good for nothing drunks who dump and run on their families. Though I suppose you could blame part of that on the women because many have a tendency to coddle the hell out of boys with no expectations or work ethic instilled then wonder why that doesn't magically blossom into a functioning responsible adult at 18 or so.
Yeah OK Thanks for that.

fsdfdsdf · Post by **fsdfdsdf** » Thu Jul 23, 2020 11:44 am

had many girls want help. like yesterday one wanted me to pay a months rent for her. a pretty obvious lie as she could pay a few nights instead, maybe had other debts due or maybe just thought it could be easy money. I offered her some painting work but that was too much like work for her. as an aside, her brother (bf?) lives in the room to but refuses to work and plays arcade games all day. I have yet to find a pleading for money cambodian that is willing to do a few hours work and earn the money. they are career beggars and I think the virus, if they were capable of retrospect, is going to make them regret their choice of careers

also many owe me money. Im not complaining. I knew theres no way they could get cash but they could do a few hours work to pay it off. they continue to ask for more loans and I tell them if they do a few hours work to pay off the last one I will but thats below them. so amazingly short sighted. I dont actually mind paying a small amount of money to find out if a person is retarded or not. saves me in the long run

numacsys · Post by **numacsys** » Tue Jul 28, 2020 3:53 pm

Can’t be more proud of my friend’s achievement.

Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

Re: Do you have more sympathy for poor females?

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