only one's self old mate.
not 100% either.

The Add Jay wrote: The rest I tried to bring in close..dinners...meet for lunch.. bar hoping....No call backs or only call me when they want to get in on a bottle I purchased without reaching out during weekdays to say hi or w.e

B-b-b-ut we had such a nice dinner together. I thought he really liked me, but he never called back. I wonder what I did wrong?

HaHa --- Bromances in Cambodia --- sorry I could not resist.

Seriously this is a good topic. Inside it are actually two topics

1) Is it possible to have real friendships with locals here? (not just socializing but real trust etc)

2) Is it easy to make expat friends?

For #1, I think it is really difficult. Maybe possible if you can speak fluent Khmer and can manage to keep any hint of monetary issues outside of the friendship. I had some good Khmer drinking buddies at one time, but I met them through my girlfriend at the time. When the relationship ended, so did the friendships.

For #2 --- It is a lot more complex. The one thing I miss so much about Bangkok is I found it so much easier to make friends there compared to here. I had a handful of friends there who I know would have my back. I cannot say the same here. In Bangkok you have a much broader range of social activities to do, so are more likely to meet people with common interests and background. I think the expat community is also more open minded there.

Here there is a shortage of social activities (other than drinking) so fewer opportunities to meet people. If you are here as a Family I think it is very easy to make friends with other families as expat families tend to bond quickly and women tend to be more sociable. if you are working here, you might make some friends through work. Unfortunately if you are just on your own here, people will tend to assume the worst about you (x 10 if you are over 50). It is sort of like the K440 mentality about "bottom feeders". Even though I don't really need to work I have actually considered looking for a job just to avoid this stigma.

It does not help that there is no shortage of nutjobs here either. I was chatting with a bloke sitting at a table next to me while eating dinner and seemed like a cool guy (Just moved here after a decade in Thailand) so we had a few beers together in a nearby pub. Anout 5 drinks in he turns in to a raving psycho harassing the barmaids and a lot of crazy shit so I had to make a very hasty exit.

Bromances in Cambodia HaHa

it is a culture of preferment, obligation, and patronage where Khmer are concerned.
We are just better at hiding it.

Just shady people is what I meant. Up2Shit. I seem to realizing the longer you stay here the more you turn into a khmer when it comes to money. Even myself to a point!

Rain Dog wrote:1) Is it possible to have real friendships with locals here? (not just socializing but real trust etc)

For #1, I think it is really difficult. Maybe possible if you can speak fluent Khmer and can manage to keep any hint of monetary issues outside of the friendship. I had some good Khmer drinking buddies at one time, but I met them through my girlfriend at the time. When the relationship ended, so did the friendships.

If you do that the Khmers you're with may think poorly of you. The custom here is for the person with highest status (read money) to act as the groups alpha, making decisions about venues, ordering for the group and picking up the bill afterwards. I believe Thailand has a similar dynamic.

ali baba wrote:

Rain Dog wrote:1) Is it possible to have real friendships with locals here? (not just socializing but real trust etc)

For #1, I think it is really difficult. Maybe possible if you can speak fluent Khmer and can manage to keep any hint of monetary issues outside of the friendship. I had some good Khmer drinking buddies at one time, but I met them through my girlfriend at the time. When the relationship ended, so did the friendships.

If you do that the Khmers you're with may think poorly of you. The custom here is for the person with highest status (read money) to act as the groups alpha, making decisions about venues, ordering for the group and picking up the bill afterwards. I believe Thailand has a similar dynamic.

"Being the man" and picking up the bill is one thing --- am talking more about getting involved in transactions, loaning money etc.

Also in Thailand I would say it depends on which economic class you are dealing with.

I heard that, with Thais, the person believed to have the most money pays the bill.

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Satiated Parrot wrote:I heard that, with Thais, the person believed to have the most money pays the bill.

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In my own experience this varies greatly by situation and the demographic of the people you are with. Keep in mind the importance of face in Thailand and it can be awkward determining who wants to claim the most face by paying the bill. For this reason I have had many experiences with middle-upper groups who happily split up the bill.

If you have a Thai gf however you will pretty much be expected to pick up the tab for her friends and family any time you encounter them.

frank lee bent wrote:only one's self old mate.
not 100% either.

I always trust my gut feeling.

That said, my gut's full of shit