phkachhouk wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 5:59 pm My mother and father are still married. He is a great guy and we talk via Skype every week.

I have no idea what that's like but I imagine it's powerful, and I'm happy for you that you have it.

StroppyChops wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 6:04 pm

phkachhouk wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 5:59 pm My mother and father are still married. He is a great guy and we talk via Skype every week.

I have no idea what that's like but I imagine it's powerful, and I'm happy for you that you have it.

He’s dying otherwise I wouldn’t speak to him so much.
But then again he’s been dying for the last 10 years and keeps hanging on. He jokes that it’s a punishment from god because he stopped going to church 40 years ago.

phkachhouk wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 6:09 pm

StroppyChops wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 6:04 pm

phkachhouk wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 5:59 pm My mother and father are still married. He is a great guy and we talk via Skype every week.

I have no idea what that's like but I imagine it's powerful, and I'm happy for you that you have it.

He jokes that it’s a punishment from god because he stopped going to church 40 years ago.

Ha! I can't say I blame him - the church eats it's own.

My father was 'old school' British, a professor who spent all day in his study at home writing academic papers. He would go ballistic if I or my 2 elder brothers entered that study without permission. My mother turned to drink as a result and I recall childhood memories of my brothers and I pouring bottles of sherry down the kitchen sink.

My father stayed married to my mother for more than 50 years and cared for her when she became an invalid in her late 70's, even though he was in his mid-80's. He refused any outside help and cared for her at home.

When he heard that I was divorcing my English wife, he cut me out of his will...

Despite all of these apparent 'downers', I have fond memories of my Dad. He went out with a 'bang' (stand up, drop dead) at the age of 89, midway through writing another academic article, (which my elder brother subsequently completed and published).

As to whether these events caused me to move to SEA, they did not.

cptrelentless wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:59 pm

The Whisperer wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 12:46 am Hi GUY's,
Just a thought. What are we doing with our lives and how did we come to end up in the situation that we find ourselves in.
I don't mind sharing a bit of my story, i hope you will too. So here I go:
After years of frustrating research I eventually found out that my Father came from a place near Castlebar, S. Ireland. He died when I was 4. My mother died when I was 12.
My Mother then married a guy in the RAF, a total pratt, a wife beater. After maybe, 10 moves in the UK we ended up in Singapore. I loved it. For the first time in many years I had 2/5 years of stability apart from living with the Pratt.
I've cut loads of stuff out but maybe I get my wanderlust from my genes/history.
Honestly guys, it would be really interesting to find out what happened to you.

Are you asking whose Dad was an arsehole? That'll be about three billion then.

This may sound cliché, and I'm absolutely not critiquing anyone else's dad, but it's simply not possible to be, or have, a better dad than I had. RIP, Dad! Love you always.

StroppyChops wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 4:00 pm

cptrelentless wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:59 pm Are you asking whose Dad was an arsehole? That'll be about three billion then.

That's an interesting point and I wonder if there's a correlation between bad fathers and moving to SEA, although it would be easier to ask the inverse question.

For those who are prepared to answer, how many of us had what we would consider a good father that we had a good relationship with?

By good, let's say earned an income, loved your mother and showed it, taught you to respect yourself and others.

I didn't. As stated, I'm curious about causality here.

My old fella's the best man I've ever met. 50+ years with my mum, rock solid, good tempered and not a fucking idiot.

Almost daily, I think about what effect my living here is having on my kids. They're all 18-24 years old, so school/friends/career/bf or gf are their priorities.

Can't say I was any different. I hope they know that I'd be there for them at the drop of a hat, but living in that fucking country waiting for their call is not something I'm willing to do.

My divorce absolutely and cruelly crippled everyone of us, with the obvious exception of my ex wife and her attorney. That caused me to get the fuck out of Dodge. Cunts, both of them. On a humorous note, I've often wished, and still do, that my ex wife somehow turns up in PP. I've got a few old-school tuktuk driver friends...

This Be The Verse

BY PHILIP LARKIN
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

Charlie

I would never say about my own life "what happened to me?" like I'm some bystander in my own life. My life is the result of my own choices, some good, some bad. Sure, good things have happened, also some bad things - how you roll with those is up to you.

+1 to the rock solid, good tempered, not a fucking idiot dad comment too ... dad, brother, friend, guru and damn impossible to beat at Scrabble. Wanker.

Tarndog wrote: ↑Mon Apr 22, 2019 4:54 pm Almost daily, I think about what effect my living here is having on my kids. They're all 18-24 years old, so school/friends/career/bf or gf are their priorities.

Can't say I was any different. I hope they know that I'd be there for them at the drop of a hat, but living in that fucking country waiting for their call is not something I'm willing to do.

My divorce absolutely and cruelly crippled everyone of us, with the obvious exception of my ex wife and her attorney. That caused me to get the fuck out of Dodge. Cunts, both of them. On a humorous note, I've often wished, and still do, that my ex wife somehow turns up in PP. I've got a few old-school tuktuk driver friends...

Hilarious, absofuckinglutely funny. You would inflict or have other's inflict violence on a woman.