Westerners who are Psychopaths

This is a part of our Cambodia forums to chat about anything, whether it relates to Cambodia or not. This discussion forum is at the top of our site because it's usually the busiest part of the expat community chatter with random topics on just about everything, including expat life, Khmer politics, Cambodian blogs we have or have come across, or whatever else our members want to discuss. Whether you're an expatriate, tourist, Cambodian or random traveler just passing through South East Asia, you are welcome to talk about anything or start new topics yourselves.
alvin.dark
Tourist
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:38 pm
Reputation: 9

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by alvin.dark » Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:13 am

Before I came out here, I wasn't aware of anyone I knew who had been in prison (maybe one). Since I've been here, I've met several guys who have been in prison, some who probably should be in prison and some who will probably wind up there. I have met one killer and others who claimed they have. I know several scammers and others who abuse and take advantage of the vulnerable ... and don't seem to feel bad about it.

My understanding is that about 4% of the general population is sociopathic (From the book, The Sociopath Next Door). In prison the percentage of sociopaths is about 20% (from the same book).

So, if that ratio (5:1) holds with psychopaths as well, than 5% of the ex-convicts and future convicts I know are psychopaths (and 20% of them are sociopaths).

I am guessing that there is a higher rate of sociopathy and psychopathy among those with no sense of purpose who live hedonistically.

I don't mean to be judgmental (we probably have no choice about whether we turn into psychopaths) but I want to be able to identify dangerous people so I can stay away from them. Anyone can be taken advantage of so I want to reduce the chances by staying away from dangerous people.

And I also met a lot of people that I like and find interesting out here ... in ways that I did not before I came here.
Swamp Fox
User avatar
fax
Expatriate
Posts: 1466
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2018 9:28 am
Reputation: 543
Korea North

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by fax » Tue Feb 12, 2019 4:25 am

alvin.dark wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:13 am
I have met one killer and others who claimed they have.

I want to be able to identify dangerous people so I can stay away from them.
Did you stay away from the killer then?
alvin.dark
Tourist
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:38 pm
Reputation: 9

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by alvin.dark » Tue Feb 12, 2019 4:59 am

fax wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 4:25 am
alvin.dark wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:13 am
I have met one killer and others who claimed they have.

I want to be able to identify dangerous people so I can stay away from them.
Did you stay away from the killer then?
Yes I stay away from him. He was convicted of murder but only spent two year on death row in Thailand. Somehow he got out. He says he bought his way out. But now he is back in prison for financial fraud.

I knew who he was before I met him and tried to stay away from him. But, one day he came over to talk to the guys I was talking to.
Swamp Fox
User avatar
phuketrichard
Expatriate
Posts: 8482
Joined: Wed May 14, 2014 5:17 pm
Reputation: 1317
Location: the far side of the moon
Aruba

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by phuketrichard » Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:13 am

I came because I was uninspired and disenchanted with the western world. I wanted to go someplace as far as possible from it, turn my life on its head, and see if I could look back to where I was with any sense of appreciation.
LOL: :please:
SE asia, far as possible from the west. what a joke, All of SE Asians aspire to be just like the west and buy buy buy
should have gone to Africa
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
User avatar
clutchcargo
Expatriate
Posts: 1414
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2018 3:09 pm
Reputation: 437
Cambodia

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by clutchcargo » Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:25 am

alvin.dark wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:13 am
I want to be able to identify dangerous people so I can stay away from them. Anyone can be taken advantage of so I want to reduce the chances by staying away from dangerous people.
Have you found the way to do this? Dangerous people as you put it are hardly likely to volunteer this info and give you their full life history.. The guy that starts up a conversation with you at a restaurant or bar could be an axe murderer.. :shock:
User avatar
Spigzy
Expatriate
Posts: 288
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:50 am
Reputation: 190
Great Britain

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by Spigzy » Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:11 am

clutchcargo wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:25 am
alvin.dark wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:13 am
I want to be able to identify dangerous people so I can stay away from them. Anyone can be taken advantage of so I want to reduce the chances by staying away from dangerous people.
Have you found the way to do this? Dangerous people as you put it are hardly likely to volunteer this info and give you their full life history.. The guy that starts up a conversation with you at a restaurant or bar could be an axe murderer.. :shock:
I got in a tuk-tuk back in 2004 and the driver turned to me and asked whether I was worried he might be a psycho. I told him the chances of two psychos being in the same tuk-tuk in the middle of nowhere in Cambodia were so remote, I wasn't bothered. Image
Meum est propositum in taberna mori,
ut sint Guinness proxima morientis ori.
tunc cantabunt letius angelorum chori:
"Sit Deus propitius huic potatori."
Joker Poker
Expatriate
Posts: 1275
Joined: Thu May 15, 2014 9:37 pm
Reputation: 92

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by Joker Poker » Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:12 am

A guy started chatting to me at the Walkabout one night, he went on and on about being a former soldier and how he was heading somewhere (I forget where) to join some mercenaries. He kept going on about needing/wanting to kill and shed blood - that sort of stuff.

When he was leaving he wanted me to go to the old Martini's with him. I politely declined.

No idea whether it was real or just a nutcase, but I sure wasn't going to Martini to find out more! He made the Walkabou seem quite sane when he left.
alvin.dark
Tourist
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:38 pm
Reputation: 9

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by alvin.dark » Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:41 am

For serial murderers and violent people I am not sure how to identify them. I get worried when I meet people who have violent imagery in their conversations for no reason. When a person is overly secretive and never talks about their work, I wonder why. From what I have read, have your guard up around people that have excessive charm and are immediately likable. While they may be perfectly good people, charm and likability are also weapons of dangerous people. These are characteristics that dangerous people work hard to cultivate and the rest of us usually don't have the time for.

The killer I knew, was scary. He was volatile and violent. It seemed like he could attack anyone at anytime. It was easy to detect him because he wanted everyone to be afraid of him. Some other dangerous guys also seem to want me to know how dangerous they are.

For a scammer I think detection is different (although the killer was also a scammer): I tried to learn the tricks of an apparently non-violent scammer by asking him to use his methods to try to scam me (I knew he was a scammer because he loved to tell about his scamming victories.)

He had so many tricks that I doubt I could ever learn enough to detect all of them in a real situation. It was good to know how he thought, but I concluded that we can not outwit a scammer who puts enough effort into finding our weak points, and then using them to scam or coerce us.

(Some dirty tricks are just too dirty to defend against. It's like avoiding an accident. Sometimes you can't. We have to hope for a certain amount of luck in life.)

However, I noticed that when he started pushing me to do something I would not normally do, my emotions went up and down in a way that was different than normal for me. He triggered feelings of greed, jealousy, etc. While I can't know all his tricks, I can be aware of when my emotions are changing in ways that are not normal for me.

By getting me into a state of intense greed, jealousy, etc., I am more likely to make a bad decision. So, I try to detect danger by being aware of unusual emotional patterns in myself. Something is going on, and it is being caused by this guy. Why?

The scammer's ability to create these emotions serves a second purpose for him: If he can get me to be so greedy, jealous, vengeful, etc. that I do something wrong, then he can rationalize scamming me because my bad behavior proves that I am a bad person and I deserve to be hurt. So he can pre-rationalize his crime against me.

I am not sure if this guy has a conscience, but he does need a rationalization to do bad things. I know that he wants to appear as a good person and to avoid embarrassment.

He is a nihilist. He has no purpose or meaning in life. For him, it seemed like people were to be manipulated and hurt for fun. This "game" is the only relationship he could have with the world ... maybe because he is not capable of empathy.

Again, he is initially likable, charming and fun.

He formed his own value system which goes against the values of what we are taught or are that we are born with (such as a sense of fair play). He does not respect people who worked hard to get what they have. He respects people who got a lot without doing much work. So he built his value system to justify his life. This value system makes his life heroic and makes it easier for him to commit his crimes.

As a result. he says his one of his biggest concerns is: How am I going to get through the next 30 years when I know that life is meaningless? How am I going to get through the next day?

What is left to do for him? Even sensual pleasures eventually lose their meaning when there is no purpose to life. And, tormenting people is not as much fun as it used to be.

It is exhausting for me to talk to him because I constantly had to have my defenses up ... not so much for the danger of scams, but for the unrelenting passive-aggressive attacks which gratify him. After a two hour conversation, it takes me a day to recover. Since he can't scam me, he can at least get the gratification of these attacks.

In the end, I avoid him (and possible danger) because it is too damaging to spend time with him (for me anyway). But for a while I learned a lot from him and it was interesting.

He is likable and does have friends. But, his long term friends are other scammers that he works with ... and those being scammed ... who can sometimes be the other scammers he works with.
Swamp Fox
alvin.dark
Tourist
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:38 pm
Reputation: 9

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by alvin.dark » Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:43 am

Spigzy wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:11 am
clutchcargo wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:25 am
alvin.dark wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:13 am
I want to be able to identify dangerous people so I can stay away from them. Anyone can be taken advantage of so I want to reduce the chances by staying away from dangerous people.
Have you found the way to do this? Dangerous people as you put it are hardly likely to volunteer this info and give you their full life history.. The guy that starts up a conversation with you at a restaurant or bar could be an axe murderer.. :shock:
I got in a tuk-tuk back in 2004 and the driver turned to me and asked whether I was worried he might be a psycho. I told him the chances of two psychos being in the same tuk-tuk in the middle of nowhere in Cambodia were so remote, I wasn't bothered. Image
Funny! I want to use that one.
Swamp Fox
violet
Expatriate
Posts: 854
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 3:48 pm
Reputation: 236

Re: Westerners who are Psychopaths

Post by violet » Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:58 am

Great posts by Alvin, and I also chuckled at [edit] clutchcargo's
Last edited by violet on Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Artisan, beaker, Clemen, Freightdog, GMJS-CEO, Google [Bot], hanno, Kammekor, lurcio, PSD-Kiwi, Queef, RatanakBat, Sidewalker, Spigzy, Whatsupdoc and 378 guests