Cheating assumed?

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AndyKK
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by AndyKK »

BrazilBoy wrote: Thu Dec 19, 2019 5:06 am
AndyKK wrote: Thu Dec 19, 2019 3:31 am ^That one is a little extreme to say the least, you may go down that road and find you have one of yours, and supporting two that are not yours.
That's why you follow up with paternity tests, I mean if you are uncertain. No need for a man to struggle with that in this day and age. So assume they are all your kids. Then you have to pay money and pay it gladly.
explorer wrote: Thu Dec 19, 2019 4:41 am There are Cambodian girls with Western boyfriends, who have good jobs and earn their own money. The boyfriend does not give them money.

Some Western men set their standards too low, and don't date girls like that.
Both of you have good points and also good arguments and concern for little doubt.
Why I say this, one I don't think the answer lays in a relationship, firstly to have a child hoping that will keep the marriage together, lets say that happens and the next one is not yours. What would you do, how are you going to deal with the situation. There are two choices, stay or leave. Or she leaves you for the other guy. You still happy pay gladly. Its a hypothetical scenario, best not even think about kids if you are not sure about the relationship.

Cambodian girls whom have good jobs and earn their own monies, having Western boyfriends that don't give them any money. I don't say I doubt you, because you know them. Three questions, what good jobs do these girls have, what is the type of relationship they have together, what is the westerners occupation, working, retired here or overseas. Sorry one more, what are their overall intentions, and the end result.

You say, some Western men set their standards too low, and don't date girls like that. Are you implying with this possibly the bar girl. The thread is not about a girl of that nature, but it is easy to be side tracked into other areas that don't necessarily interact. But your first quote makes the scenario sound like the so called normality of the western relationship.
Always "hope" but never "expect".
explorer
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by explorer »

AndyKK wrote: Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:10 am Cambodian girls whom have good jobs and earn their own monies, having Western boyfriends that don't give them any money. I don't say I doubt you, because you know them. Three questions, what good jobs do these girls have, what is the type of relationship they have together, what is the westerners occupation, working, retired here or overseas. Sorry one more, what are their overall intentions, and the end result.
They are all different. Some are married. Some are just dating. Some that are just dating, will get married. Some wont. Some will move back to his country. Some wont. Sometimes her expectations are different to his. They have all different kinds of jobs.

Just because they earn their own money, is not a 100% guarantee a good relationship in the long term. But when a relationship is based on loving the money, not loving the husband, it is doomed to fail.

Someone on this forum very recently discussed how his partner had a good job and earned a lot of money. I can't remember who.
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
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Ravensnest
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by Ravensnest »

newkidontheblock wrote: Tue Nov 05, 2019 9:11 am
clutchcargo wrote:Geez I haven't heard this either. Who does your missus hang around with? Why is your relationship viewed as strange?
This is random, unsolicited female Khmer advice. From the hair shop girl, the old ladies at the market, the girl at the mini-mart. The ones at the moto repair shop. Etc. Probably from the Pizza Company girl as well.


pull your blinders off. there is no way strangers are walking up to your wife and making these statements. I highly doubt that even a casual friend of hers would say such things. look close to home and learn Khmer.
Still hunting for opium paraphernalia.
explorer
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by explorer »

AndyKK wrote: Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:10 am You say, some Western men set their standards too low, and don't date girls like that. Are you implying with this possibly the bar girl. The thread is not about a girl of that nature, but it is easy to be side tracked into other areas that don't necessarily interact. But your first quote makes the scenario sound like the so called normality of the western relationship.
For, an intelligent man who is serious about a good long term relationship, a bar girl is not even an option. So a starting point for a good girl, is that she is not a bar girl.

When you meet non-bar-girls, there are different types.

There are some where the parents don't have a very smart attitude, take the girl out of school while she is young, and send her off to work so she can support them. Often the father is a heavy drinker. There are some good families, and girls, who leave school young, and go to work. But a large proportion of parents who do this are lazy, and want their children to work for them. The girls grow up with the same attitude to the parents. Some people date these girls, based on sympathy, and have a lazy partner.

There was one girl with a foreign partner. He set up a little car as a take away food stall. So she could go out, sell take away food, and earn money. She would only go out and sell food once or twice a week, then tell him she wasn't earning enough money, so he had to send her more money.

There was a foreigner with a Cambodian wife who opened a restaurant. It did not make as much money as he expected, so he decided to go back to his home country to earn more money. He wanted her to run the restaurant while he was away. She didn't want to. So they closed the restaurant. She had the choice of running the restaurant while he was away, or doing nothing and him sending her money. She chose to do nothing, and have him send her money.

Some Cambodian girls are inherently lazy. They learn that attitude from the parents. They want someone to provide for them while they are lazy.

The first characteristic of a good girl, is that she is not a bar girl. The second characteristic, is that she is not a lazy girl.

If a decent man was to come to Cambodia, and just focus on meeting university students. If after meeting a large number of them, he decided he wanted to marry one of them, there is a 95% chance she would be happy and her parents would be happy. After she finished her studies, she could get a good job, and earn a decent salary.

I stayed in a guest house where a lot of other foreigners also stayed. The men dated the bar girls. The owners of the guest house had a nice daughter and a nice niece, who studied at university, and sometimes came there for the holidays. Nobody ever thought about dating the daughter or the niece.

Men could also date girls that already have a good job.

I can think of one family where there are two sisters, who live with their grandparents. The grandparents are nice people with a good attitude. Their father has a good job in another town, works hard, and has made a lot of money. These girls grow up in that environment, learn from their family, and develop the same attitude. With a good attitude, they will make good wives.

Not all girls with a good job make good wives. Some have a bad attitude. Not all wealthy people are good. Some got there by cheating, stealing and even murder. But some got there by hard work. So you still need to get to know a girl as an individual. People put on a good act while dating, and may not display their true self. You can tell a lot about a girl by her parents. If you have a good girl with good parents, you should be able to get on well with the whole family.

When I was in Phnom Penh recently I saw two foreign men being friendly with women selling things on the riverfront. I didn't get involved, or even talk to them, so I cant judge them. But maybe, the women are married, and don't tell the foreigners. Even if they have genuinely separated from their husbands, they are poor, and will expect money from any future partner.
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
Isaanbarang
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by Isaanbarang »

Why do all of explorers posts start with An intelligent man would do what I do? I know guys that married bargirls and are happy, I see explorer is not married, the happily married man is not intelligent and the guy that goes without a woman is?
Johno35
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by Johno35 »

explorer wrote: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:40 pm
Kammekor wrote: Wed Dec 18, 2019 12:18 pm Not all Khmer girls are in it for the money Explorer.
I agree. Not all girls are. But many are.

If you make friends with these girls, many of them will tell you that they are. It is not a secret. They will tell you.
Exactly. Not ALL men are into a nice set of tits and a sweet ass. Some men are happy with a girl with tits like mosquito bites. Some men like fat girls.

Not ALL men wish they were with a woman who can cook well.

But we can say that there are trends.
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Bitte_Kein_Lexus
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by Bitte_Kein_Lexus »

Isaanbarang wrote:Why do all of explorers posts start with An intelligent man would do what I do? I know guys that married bargirls and are happy, I see explorer is not married, the happily married man is not intelligent and the guy that goes without a woman is?
He's the self-proclaimed encyclopedia of all things Cambodia. Take what he says with a grain of salt, as he'll either spout utter nonsense, or the complete obvious.
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hunter8
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by hunter8 »

Assume the worst, hope for the best. Do paternity tests. Don’t get emotionally involved much which is very easy past a certain age. Avoid official marriage. There is always another bird in the bush waiting.
The only issue I can see here is a risk of STD infection from a girlfriend who has another partner on the side. Assuming that men only want to wear rubber with working girls, this risk is very real.
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Freightdog
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by Freightdog »

explorer wrote: Thu Dec 19, 2019 7:27 am For, an intelligent man who is serious about a good long term relationship, a bar girl is not even an option. So a starting point for a good girl, is that she is not a bar girl.

When you meet non-bar-girls, there are different types.

There are some where the parents don't have a very smart attitude, take the girl out of school while she is young, and send her off to work so she can support them. Often the father is a heavy drinker. There are some good families, and girls, who leave school young, and go to work. But a large proportion of parents who do this are lazy, and want their children to work for them.
For a person who professes such profound understanding of the Khmer, you come across as arrogant, blinkered. Underlying what you write is the barely informed attitude of some lay-man who has made a cursory effort to brief himself about Cambodia. It’s like the bigot who hears that all the natives are lazy, and then fails to truly understand the people.

Rather like some god-bothering missionary- he’ll go out and civilise them all, whether they like it or not.

Some of your generalisations are just that. You could have a pro forma document with lots of blanks, ready to fill in in. This week, you might write in Khmer/Cambodia, but next week some suburb of Paris.

Are you a missionary type? Some middle-level government bureaucrat? Do you insert yourself often among people that you inwardly despise so much.

For someone who states the bleeding obvious so often, while avoiding more difficult questions, have you ever truly had an open conversation with the people you look down your nose at? Instead of pigeon holing them all, have you ever tried to understand their circumstances?

Take a look back within the last hundred years of European history, and look at how people survived tragedies, disaster and chaos and then take a moment to reflect on the similarities, if your own imagination can allow you.
Do you even have the empathy to enable you to do so?

Yes, there are plenty of examples of lazy parents who then produce lazy children. There are also at least as many examples of parents who have managed to instil a strong work ethic, good manners.

Take a break from yourself for a while.
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Kammekor
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Re: Cheating assumed?

Post by Kammekor »

Isaanbarang wrote: Thu Dec 19, 2019 8:07 am Why do all of explorers posts start with An intelligent man would do what I do? I know guys that married bargirls and are happy, I see explorer is not married, the happily married man is not intelligent and the guy that goes without a woman is?
Because, as you can read in quite a few of his posts, he doesn't consider quite a few of the people posting here non-intelligent people. Those people can read and learn I guess.
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