The Devil's Dictionary

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General Mackevili
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The Devil's Dictionary

Postby General Mackevili » Thu May 29, 2014 1:13 pm

I've always thought this was a funny read. Good to just randomly browse through. I used to have a really good link through a university that formatted it very nicely, but that seems to have gone down.

Also, I believe it's totally free on Amazon, so can get it on your Kindle easily for free.

Here are the 2 best links for it I have now. :assasin:

http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/972/972-h/972-h.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

And probably the easiest download links, although I haven't tried them...

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/972" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;


Some exapmples:

GOUT, n.
A physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient.


CRITIC, n.
A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.


ADVERTISING, n. The driving force behind supply-and-demand economics: the stimulation of demand for useless products through the supply of misleading claims


CHRISTIANITY, n. A form of mass narcissism. Adherents to this curious creed actually believe that the "creator of the universe" has nothing better to do with its time than to obsess over their sex lives in order to judge whether or not they're fit for "salvation." The more pious christians are apt to label the feeling inspired by this divine attention as "humility."


EDUCATION, n. In the United States: 1) A means of deadening the curiosity of the young; 2) A type of Pavlovian conditioning utilizing bells and buzzers, interspersed with domination and submission rituals.


RACISM, n. A sign of idiocy indicating that an individual believes that other racial groups can be even worse than his own.


RELIGION, n. 1) The first refuge of the desperate; 2) A convenient way of avoiding such unpleasantries as reality and independent thought; 3) A means of feeling superior to others; 4) A cult which has achieved sufficient longevity, membership, and economic clout to merit societal acceptance.


:dm:
"Life is too important to take seriously."

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

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migratory
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Re: The Devil's Dictionary

Postby migratory » Thu May 29, 2014 1:31 pm

ADVERTISING, n. The driving force behind supply-and-demand economics: the stimulation of demand for useless products through the supply of misleading claims
Be careful you don't piss off your sponsors.
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StroppyChops
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Re: The Devil's Dictionary

Postby StroppyChops » Thu May 29, 2014 1:31 pm

ABORIGINIES, n.Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
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General Mackevili
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Re: The Devil's Dictionary

Postby General Mackevili » Thu May 29, 2014 2:31 pm

migratory wrote:
ADVERTISING, n. The driving force behind supply-and-demand economics: the stimulation of demand for useless products through the supply of misleading claims
Be careful you don't piss off your sponsors.[/quote

Let's hope they have good senses of humor!
"Life is too important to take seriously."

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

Looking for the best deals on hotels and guesthouses in Cambodia?

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Phnom Penh
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The Educator
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Re: The Devil's Dictionary

Postby The Educator » Fri May 30, 2014 6:00 am

Good evening, General.

In addition to your links, above, The Devil's Dictionary (by Ambrose Bierce) is also available for free download as a talking book from the site listed below.

http://www.booksshouldbefree.com/book/t ... ose-bierce" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

It's good for the car or to help one get off to sleep etc.

Best wishes.
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General Mackevili
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Re: The Devil's Dictionary

Postby General Mackevili » Fri May 30, 2014 8:35 am

^Muchos gracias!
"Life is too important to take seriously."

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

Looking for the best deals on hotels and guesthouses in Cambodia?

Book through Agoda:

Phnom Penh
Siem Reap
Sihanoukville
Kampot
Koh Rong


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