The Coffee Saga

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vladimir
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The Coffee Saga

Post by vladimir » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:13 am

So the wifey was sick last night, so no iced coffee this morning. I need my fix, and like a naive fool, I ride off into the sunrise thinking that this will be an easy task in a country saturated with coffee sellers...LOGIC...FAIL!

Stop 1. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They are busy, so I wait maybe 10 minutes. Eventually, the owner comes out to check my order...repeat. 5 minutes later he emerges with pork and rice. I clarify, biting my tongue and reminding myself about the blood pressure. He scuttles back in and emerges again with a Coke. I depart.

Stop 2. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They stand and stare at me. I ask again...more staring, one scuttles off to find an English linguist. She merges. I ask again. Yes, yes, we have. She goes into the back of the store and comes out with a packet of instant coffee. I ask again, no, we don't sell. I ride off, the pressure is building...

Stop 3. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They bring me a cup of hot coffee with amazing rapidity. I explain I want iced coffee;'Cannot'. My knuckles whiten on the handlebar, my teeth clench, yet still by some miracle I do not dismember the messenger on the spot. I ride off.

Stop 4. I ask them if they have iced coffee (in Khmer). Yes, no problem. They go into the back, and bring me an iced coffee...in a glass. I explain that I am on a bike (just in case they hadn't noticed) and they scramble back apologetically to give it to me in a plastic cup and one of those plastic holders. It arrives. There is no cover for the cup. I explain again that I am on a bike, and I need the cover for the cup. Ot mien...my BP is now about 300/200. The waitress scuttles off to find one at another coffee shop down the road. I ma saying repeatedly, 'Thou shalt not murder, thou shalt not murder...'
10 minutes later, she returns with the cover.

I have my coffee!

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Joon
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Re: The Coffee Saga

Post by Joon » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:22 am

Amusing story and noble quest and all, but where the heck are you hanging out?
In most market areas, there are plenty of well prepared coffee drinks sellers, and even on the major roads there are coffee pushcarts and the easy-to-spot Ueda coffee tuk-tuks (though I don't know what the coffee is worth).
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vladimir
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Re: The Coffee Saga

Post by vladimir » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:27 am

This was on 271.

Never again.
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JBTrain
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Re: The Coffee Saga

Post by JBTrain » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:47 am

Joon wrote:Amusing story and noble quest and all, but where the heck are you hanging out?
In most market areas, there are plenty of well prepared coffee drinks sellers, and even on the major roads there are coffee pushcarts and the easy-to-spot Ueda coffee tuk-tuks (though I don't know what the coffee is worth).
Much of which may be "coffee" in name only and rather the industrial Viet soy product which put our old friend Akira out of the coffee business.
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Jaap N.
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Re: The Coffee Saga

Post by Jaap N. » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:51 am

Thanks, vlad, for my first Wednesday morning laugh!
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GMJS-CEO
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Re: The Coffee Saga

Post by GMJS-CEO » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:58 am

At many of the local coffee shops i find the iced coffee (or whatever it is) to be pretty disgusting. Way too strong and sweet.

If i run out of the Nescafe packets at home I prefer to stop at the minimart for the small canned coffee drinks.
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JBTrain
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Re: The Coffee Saga

Post by JBTrain » Wed Jun 25, 2014 8:05 am

Buy beans. Premium Lao $7/kilo

"additives used to turn soy beans into coffee-like beans, which include coffee flavorings, foam-making substance Sodium Lauryl Sulfate mainly used to make shampoo or dish-soap, industrial color powders and Carboxymethyl Cellulose (CMC), can contain impurities and heavy metals like mercury and lead, which may lead to cancers if used for a long time.

Doctor Tran Van Ky warned that the abuse of the antibiotic Chloramphenicol can poison human livers, bone marrow and kidneys, while chemical sugar Sodium Cyclamate, which is 50 times sweeter than normal sugar, can bring users cancers or Down syndrome.

A veteran fake coffee producer in suburban HCMC, who wanted to be identified as T. only, used 15 types of chemicals for his "special coffee." 




http://thanhniennews.com/society/coffee ... -5604.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Satiated Parrot
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Re: The Coffee Saga

Post by Satiated Parrot » Wed Jun 25, 2014 8:34 am

Probably a stupid question, but does this coffee by-product contain caffeine?

And since it's made of soy, shall we sell it to hippies?

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OrangeDragon
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Re: The Coffee Saga

Post by OrangeDragon » Wed Jun 25, 2014 8:51 am

Joon wrote:Amusing story and noble quest and all, but where the heck are you hanging out?
Seriously. I can wander around in little provincial towns and land an iced coffee with my shitty khmer mixed with some english and sign language with more success than this quixotic tale, lol.

Granted... I was looking for an auto parts store.
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General Mackevili
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Re: The Coffee Saga

Post by General Mackevili » Wed Jun 25, 2014 9:04 am

JBTrain wrote:... chemical sugar Sodium Cyclamate, which is 50 times sweeter than normal sugar, can bring users cancers or Down syndrome.
LoL, nothing can cause you to catch/develop Down Syndrome.
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