Should I stay or should I go?

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Jacket
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Should I stay or should I go?

Post by Jacket »

So, my better half and I have been talking 'bout reproducing 'n' all of that jazz. I said that I'd gladly have children, but only under the condition that we all go to Europe, because I don't want to bring up my kids in Cambodia (a country where you can be university educated and still have a job that pays less than 300$ a month).
She doesn't like the sound of that however. She's concerned that not everybody in Austria is as sexually repressed as the Khmers pretend that they are and that our (hypothetical) child might forget his/her Cambodian roots.
The only problem that I've got with setteling down in the old country is that I would have to get some bullshit job that I would absolutely hate (escaping the 45+ hour working week was the reason why I came here to begin with).
So, yeah. Decisions decisions. Serve in heaven or be middle management in purgatory?
Bei der Weiterbildung; in der Todeszone.
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phuketrichard
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Post by phuketrichard »

seems recently many have left that had kids between 6 and 10 for better education;

I stayed in Thailand BUT i could afford international schools from year 4-12 ( averaged $11,000++/year) for my daughter

if u cant GO

Your choice is wait till ur child is 6 or so and take a chance and blow getting a job now in ur own country as ur going to be 6-7 years older than now
or go now while ur still younger an can get a job an increase ur income as ur child grows

u obviously know ur prospects in Cambodia an unless u can afford the $12 grand/year ++ for a good education later on.......
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
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Yobbo
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Post by Yobbo »

Cambodia is rapidly changing, I see a better outlook for Cambodia than i do Australia.
Here it is more expensive to send your child to daycare than it is to a private school.
If you can plant a seed (property or a good business) in the Kingdom of wonder it will grow faster than in the land of OZ!
The Australian education system is only valuable at a later stage assuming they are still interested in being educated.
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PSD-Kiwi
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Post by PSD-Kiwi »

^I agree with Yobbo.

OP...that's a big decision to make, and one that you must both make together. There are a lot of considerations to take into account. If your wife hasn't been to your home country before, it may be worth taking her on an extended holiday there before making the decision to move there to live.

I know a few Cambodian women who have moved with their partner's/husbands to their home countries, and they are all absolutely miserable. Family is probably the most important aspect of Cambodians' life's, food is second....remove them from those that they love (besides yourself), and the types of food that they are used to (and will struggle to find in most other parts of the world), and they will become extremely unhappy and may even begin to despise and blame you for dragging them away from their home.

Most Cambodian's I know always talk about how they would love to move to a "Western" country to live, but the reality is most would hate it, for the above reasons and many more. My partner always talked about how she would like to move to my country, after we spent a couple weeks there on holiday she quickly changed her tune, short holidays "fine", living there..."no way!"

Oh, actually there is one Cambodian lass I know who is married to an American and moved there with him a few years ago. She is happy, but that's probably because her husband is mega-rich and she fly's back to Cambodia to visit her family every couple of months!
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General Mackevili
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Post by General Mackevili »

Personally, I wouldn't worry about the shitty jobs you've been landing here. It took me a while to get a job I loved. Granted, no way in hell I'd have been able to really provide for a wife and kid(s) though.

I agree that I get the gist that more westerners than not don't like moving back to the west with their Cambodian other.

I would put the kid off the game plan for at least a year or so. I don't think people should even think about bringing another human into the world until they have their shit straight. Probably the main reason I really haven't ever thought of getting married, much less having a kid. I have no plans of getting my shit straight, LoL.

Get her a birth control implant. That will buy you 3 years or so. :thumb:

Like you said, you came out to Cambodia to get away from it all. Why move right back there with a lot of extra baggage?

And whatever you do, don't let her push you to make huge life changes that will make you miserable. That's not good for anyone involved.

And when I hear people say, "I'd gladly have children," the first thing I think is, "NOOOOO! Don't do it! You're not ready and don't want them, and only said that as to try and be agreeable with someone else who's pressuring you!"
"Life is too important to take seriously."

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

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prahkeitouj
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Post by prahkeitouj »

Jacket wrote: She's concerned that not everybody in Austria is as sexually repressed as the Khmers pretend that they are and that our (hypothetical) child might forget his/her Cambodian roots.
I think parents are very important to educate their children where they from. Parents are the first teacher. I believe your kids won't forget their roots if you spend enough time on them. They will learn and compare. When they grow up, they will choose which one is best for them.
កុំស្លាប់ដូចពស់ កុំរស់ដូចកង្កែប
Samouth
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Post by Samouth »

I think she should had awared that one day she will have to move to your home country before she got married with you. She shouldn't had concerned that her son or daughter might forget their Cambodian root. I think they don't need to stick on their Cambodian root as they will be growing up in another country with absolute culture different.
បើសិនធ្វើចេះ ចេះឲ្យគេកោត បើសិនធ្វើឆោត ឆោតឲ្យគេអាណិត។

If you know a lot, know enough to make them respect you, if you are stupid, be stupid enough so they can pity you.
SAY_WAT?
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Post by SAY_WAT? »

Stay, but shit can the relationship. Get a new girlfriend every weekend. How dare you spoil that lovely Khmer tan by procreation.
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Duncan
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Post by Duncan »

prahkeitouj wrote:
Jacket wrote: She's concerned that not everybody in Austria is as sexually repressed as the Khmers pretend that they are and that our (hypothetical) child might forget his/her Cambodian roots.
I think parents are very important to educate their children where they from

. Parents are the first teacher.

I believe your kids won't forget their roots if you spend enough time on them. They will learn and compare. When they grow up, they will choose which one is best for them.
I can agree with you prahkeitou, unfortunately, most parents are not educated enough themselves. We have a saying '' the blind leading the blind '' which comes to my mind.
Cambodia,,,, Don't fall in love with her.
Like the spoilt child she is, she will not be happy till she destroys herself from within and breaks your heart.
prahkeitouj
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Post by prahkeitouj »

Duncan wrote:
prahkeitouj wrote:
Jacket wrote: She's concerned that not everybody in Austria is as sexually repressed as the Khmers pretend that they are and that our (hypothetical) child might forget his/her Cambodian roots.
I think parents are very important to educate their children where they from

. Parents are the first teacher.

I believe your kids won't forget their roots if you spend enough time on them. They will learn and compare. When they grow up, they will choose which one is best for them.
I can agree with you prahkeitou, unfortunately, most parents are not educated enough themselves. We have a saying '' the blind leading the blind '' which comes to my mind.
The blind won't be blind if they open-minded. My mum also never went to school,but she didn't want her children's future like her. We learn from each others. Sometimes my mum can understand some English words from the news. She doesn't close her mind to learn. Some of my friends told me that they are lazy to learn new language and technology but they have to because when their kids ask them,they can tell their kids. I believe that kids inspire us to learn if we really want our kids get good education rather than let the society become their foundation knowledge. No matter where they live,but the matter is how to educate them. I really appriciate taabarang that he does care about their children's education.
កុំស្លាប់ដូចពស់ កុំរស់ដូចកង្កែប
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