Parenting in Cambodia
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 3858
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 7:49 am
- Reputation: 978
- Location: Outside of Kampong Cham city
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
"What do you think is causing it? There must be a reason why she acts that way."
I think two things have to be taken into consideration; the first one is the village environment I live in and the second one is Cambodian xenophobia. So....
I am the only foreigner I'm a village of 3,000 people. Oh there is a handful of Khmer Kraum, but apart from them, I stand out as "the foreigner." My wife comes from this village and her family is a small landholder farming family that enjoys a good reputation. Our moving here was a culture shock for the village. Usually if a foreigner marries a barang they move to his country and politely send money home. In my case that was not practical. My parents died while I was overseas and I have no brothers or sisters. In addition to no familial connection I was close to retirement age and as a teacher my job prospects were poor at best and more likely none due to my age. So, I opted to live here where my kids could have a big family with aunties, uncles, cousins, grandparents and all the trimmings. So in essence my children, tho koan kaet, have little or no concept of daddy's culture outside of the language. All of which leads me to the second point.
One day I wAs chatting with granny(maiyieh) and told her that I recognised my children as Khmer.
She looked at me and informed me that wasn't the case. "But mom, I replied, " their mother is Cambodian, they were born im Cambodia and their first language is Cambodian, so when will they be Cambodian?". To which she replied that they would have to marry a PURE Cambodian and their children would have to marry a PURE Cambodian and their children would be Cambodian. So it takes a lot of fucking with pure Cambodians to drive out that foreign blood. Now having said that granny treats my kids with love and respect and their grandpa does the same.
So,my point is that in their childhood they 1) don't really know really know what being a non-Cambodian is and 2) they have been singled out by their peers and others as being different. A pressure to which my daughter is more sensitive than my son. But I have faith she will outgrow it plus academically she is excelling. Then too there are times when it all disappears and I am her father and she is my daughter and being American and Cambodian just disappear. More later. But until then courage all you fathers.
I think two things have to be taken into consideration; the first one is the village environment I live in and the second one is Cambodian xenophobia. So....
I am the only foreigner I'm a village of 3,000 people. Oh there is a handful of Khmer Kraum, but apart from them, I stand out as "the foreigner." My wife comes from this village and her family is a small landholder farming family that enjoys a good reputation. Our moving here was a culture shock for the village. Usually if a foreigner marries a barang they move to his country and politely send money home. In my case that was not practical. My parents died while I was overseas and I have no brothers or sisters. In addition to no familial connection I was close to retirement age and as a teacher my job prospects were poor at best and more likely none due to my age. So, I opted to live here where my kids could have a big family with aunties, uncles, cousins, grandparents and all the trimmings. So in essence my children, tho koan kaet, have little or no concept of daddy's culture outside of the language. All of which leads me to the second point.
One day I wAs chatting with granny(maiyieh) and told her that I recognised my children as Khmer.
She looked at me and informed me that wasn't the case. "But mom, I replied, " their mother is Cambodian, they were born im Cambodia and their first language is Cambodian, so when will they be Cambodian?". To which she replied that they would have to marry a PURE Cambodian and their children would have to marry a PURE Cambodian and their children would be Cambodian. So it takes a lot of fucking with pure Cambodians to drive out that foreign blood. Now having said that granny treats my kids with love and respect and their grandpa does the same.
So,my point is that in their childhood they 1) don't really know really know what being a non-Cambodian is and 2) they have been singled out by their peers and others as being different. A pressure to which my daughter is more sensitive than my son. But I have faith she will outgrow it plus academically she is excelling. Then too there are times when it all disappears and I am her father and she is my daughter and being American and Cambodian just disappear. More later. But until then courage all you fathers.
As my old Cajun bait seller used to say, "I opes you luck.
- phuketrichard
- Expatriate
- Posts: 16882
- Joined: Wed May 14, 2014 5:17 pm
- Reputation: 5784
- Location: Atlantis
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
this happens throughout SE asia,
They will never be accepted as khmer,or Thai or Laotions because they have foreign blood. They will be questioned ( not out loud by their peers but they will wonder) why their dad did not provide better for them ( all Barnags are rich) and send them to a good school or take them to "his" country. The Pure breeds will assume their mom is a bar girl for any true good Khmer/thai would only marry her own kind. Ur kids will always be perceived as Barangs.
i am sure ur dong the best you can for your kids ( as dads we all want the best for our kids). My daughter and all her friends consider themselves Americans, Australians, British etc NOT thai ( even thou all their moms are thai). My daughter is 100 % american in her eyes
Acting out....
All my friends with daughters ( seems it was less so for sons) went thru the same thing. Dont know any parents over here with mixed kids that did not see some rebellion /acting out, seems to hit around 13,14 years old...Its to bad u have not given them a sense of what life is like in ur country when they were younger.
All you can do is give them a good sense of who they are, solid values and pray they turn out ok
PS as to your previous statement
They will never be accepted as khmer,or Thai or Laotions because they have foreign blood. They will be questioned ( not out loud by their peers but they will wonder) why their dad did not provide better for them ( all Barnags are rich) and send them to a good school or take them to "his" country. The Pure breeds will assume their mom is a bar girl for any true good Khmer/thai would only marry her own kind. Ur kids will always be perceived as Barangs.
i am sure ur dong the best you can for your kids ( as dads we all want the best for our kids). My daughter and all her friends consider themselves Americans, Australians, British etc NOT thai ( even thou all their moms are thai). My daughter is 100 % american in her eyes
Acting out....
All my friends with daughters ( seems it was less so for sons) went thru the same thing. Dont know any parents over here with mixed kids that did not see some rebellion /acting out, seems to hit around 13,14 years old...Its to bad u have not given them a sense of what life is like in ur country when they were younger.
All you can do is give them a good sense of who they are, solid values and pray they turn out ok
PS as to your previous statement
BULLSHIT,, i already went thru what ur going thru... as well as many of my friends and we would all get together and talk about it.You haven't sufficient knowledge to pontificate.
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 4267
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 1:06 pm
- Reputation: 471
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
Thanks Taa, I assumed that was the case.
My two are only 6 and 4 so I guess I have all of this to look forward to in the coming years.
My two are only 6 and 4 so I guess I have all of this to look forward to in the coming years.
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 3858
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 7:49 am
- Reputation: 978
- Location: Outside of Kampong Cham city
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
"All you can do is give them a good sense of who they are, solid values and pray they turn out ok"
As I said earlier and because of your obnoxious postings I must confirm once again that as long as they don't turn out like you, they will be fine.
As I said earlier and because of your obnoxious postings I must confirm once again that as long as they don't turn out like you, they will be fine.
As my old Cajun bait seller used to say, "I opes you luck.
- phuketrichard
- Expatriate
- Posts: 16882
- Joined: Wed May 14, 2014 5:17 pm
- Reputation: 5784
- Location: Atlantis
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
pray they dont turn out like you, someone that will NOT listen to others TRYING to provide info.taabarang wrote:"All you can do is give them a good sense of who they are, solid values and pray they turn out ok"
As I said earlier and because of your obnoxious postings I must confirm once again that as long as they don't turn out like you, they will be fine.
enjoy ur life
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 3858
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 7:49 am
- Reputation: 978
- Location: Outside of Kampong Cham city
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
Your high opinion of yourself and your low opinion of me are both unwarranted. They will decide who they are by themselves.
As my old Cajun bait seller used to say, "I opes you luck.
- bolueeleh
- Expatriate
- Posts: 4448
- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:39 am
- Reputation: 842
- Location: anywhere with cheap bonks
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
just pray that aliens dont come to earth, then we can fight over who is not pure blood earthlings, im pretty sure some earthlings wouldnt mind fucking some 2 feet octopus schlong
Last edited by bolueeleh on Fri Feb 03, 2017 10:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
Money is not the problem, the problem is no money
- frank lee bent
- Expatriate
- Posts: 11330
- Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 4:10 am
- Reputation: 2094
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
i am so pleased my offspring are over 30
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 3858
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 7:49 am
- Reputation: 978
- Location: Outside of Kampong Cham city
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
cptrelentless said, "Chew with your mouth closed...". Yep one of my bugaboos as well. My son does likewise and eats way too fast, in fact it's more like inhaling food than eating it.
It's good to see him with a hearty appetite but...
Also he attacks the bowl or plate with his spoon so passionately that it becomes a ceramic percussion instrument as he tries to get ever last grain of rice, then there's a slight intermission for seconds and the solo concert begins again.
It's good to see him with a hearty appetite but...
Also he attacks the bowl or plate with his spoon so passionately that it becomes a ceramic percussion instrument as he tries to get ever last grain of rice, then there's a slight intermission for seconds and the solo concert begins again.
As my old Cajun bait seller used to say, "I opes you luck.
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 3858
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 7:49 am
- Reputation: 978
- Location: Outside of Kampong Cham city
Re: Parenting in Cambodia
"i am so pleased my offspring are over 30."
I am appropriately jealous.
I am appropriately jealous.
As my old Cajun bait seller used to say, "I opes you luck.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Amazon [Bot], barang_TK, kgbagent, Majestic-12 [Bot], Old8404, Semrush [Bot], Username Taken and 717 guests