ol onion eyes

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SmartAston Martin
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Re: ol onion eyes - Faces of Terror

Post by SmartAston Martin »

FACE OF TERROR
I do that everyone Halloween at night in remote areas. My mask is in my window now, it's green. Scares the bejeezus out of them, then they laugh.

I have strict rules about it though. No responsible adults, it screws with their credibility, haha. So no grandmas, uncles, or leader-types of their families. You may have stepped across the line when you accidentally scared the bejeezus out of grandma, socially-speaking. A quick apology and maybe a small gift would've prevented any "repercussions" to scare you away.

Do you want to the learn the hard but fun way, or do you want an orientation? In my travels, I've done both, haha. I admit, as I became more confident in my skills to handle situations, I allowed myself to become more ignorant. More surprises that way, haha.

RULES OF THE TOAD
But young girls and boys, fair game. Teenagers are great. And young, single attractive females everybody likes when I scare them, they shouldn't be alone at night!

Usually, I scare one, then I ask them stay quiet as I find another target. They usually do stay quiet, because they want to see the other person get scared, too. It's a great laugh when done right. Again, I don't scare everybody.

GOING FULL RETARD
As for getting tactical gear, dude, I did all that one I first "moved to the jungle." It's part of your training and mentality, I get it. Be prepared, never have "piss poor planning." It's a bit of a harmless overreaction, though, haha.

UNSOLICITED COUNTRY ADVICE
Maybe, maybe, you need a nice long stick or cane. I use one much like a *thin* kendo stick, with a long, rubberized, two-handed grip. Rule of thumb - you can whack something (or someone on the mischance) with all your power and probably not kill them. When wielded properly, it scares away any problems and does not attract any problems, either.

Maybe, you'll need a light ranged weapon, like a small slingshot, for monkeys or scaring off misbehavers (teenagers?) You only need to carry three stones.. That's it. I often carry a cheap but easily broken long-range water gun for monkeys, dogs, and even cats that are too friendly. Works on that pesky, persistent kid, too, when you want some space. For parties, you can clean it and load it with flavored vodka if you like. Just mind any coloring at any pool parties, haha.

I got a million party tricks.
Melvin Udall: Never, never, interrupt me, okay?

Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint.

Even then, don't come knocking...Not for ANY reason.
Barang chgout
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Re: ol onion eyes

Post by Barang chgout »

Rule of thumb - you can whack something (or someone on the mischance) with all your power and probably not kill them.
Unless it's the dog from the wat.
I hit that fucker, square between the eyes, 4 or 5 times, as Hard as I could and it still wouldn't let go of my dog! Hasn't come back since though....
Also, maybe I'm just piss weak?

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Barang chgout
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Re: ol onion eyes

Post by Barang chgout »

Sorry, neglected to say it was with a meter of 10mm threaded rod...

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SmartAston Martin
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Re: ol onion eyes

Post by SmartAston Martin »

It's a deterrent, not lethal force.

The deterrent has to a big enough problem to the problem to not have any problems. Problem solved.

**Apparently, cutting off the air supply to a dog will cause it to unlock. Or you could splash it with a bottle of ice water you carry on your walks, or spray it with some foul liquid like vinegar or ammonia (semi-dangerous). Just make sure not to spray bystanders as well, like your own dog or yourself.

The dog should remember your one time action and avoid you, if done right. If you have to do this, "Do it once, and do it right."**
Last edited by SmartAston Martin on Sun Dec 17, 2017 7:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Melvin Udall: Never, never, interrupt me, okay?

Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint.

Even then, don't come knocking...Not for ANY reason.
Barang chgout
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Re: ol onion eyes

Post by Barang chgout »

Should buy some 12mm rod then. Thanks for the advice.

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Duncan
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Re: ol onion eyes

Post by Duncan »

Barang chgout wrote: Sun Dec 17, 2017 6:37 pm Rule of thumb - you can whack something (or someone on the mischance) with all your power and probably not kill them.
Unless it's the dog from the wat.
I hit that fucker, square between the eyes, 4 or 5 times, as Hard as I could and it still wouldn't let go of my dog! Hasn't come back since though....
Also, maybe I'm just piss weak?

Sent from my SM-G570Y using Tapatalk
Barang chgout wrote: Sun Dec 17, 2017 6:38 pm Sorry, neglected to say it was with a meter of 10mm threaded rod...

Sent from my SM-G570Y using Tapatalk

Now had you attempted to put it's two nuts onto that threaded rod you may have ended up with a better result.
Cambodia,,,, Don't fall in love with her.
Like the spoilt child she is, she will not be happy till she destroys herself from within and breaks your heart.
SmartAston Martin
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Re: ol onion eyes

Post by SmartAston Martin »

Duncan,

Haha, are you talking about me and JDM on this thread, haha?
Melvin Udall: Never, never, interrupt me, okay?

Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint.

Even then, don't come knocking...Not for ANY reason.
JDMPRO777
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Re: ol onion eyes

Post by JDMPRO777 »

For the life of me I can't figure out what is so unbelievable about my tales. Unremarkable perhaps, but unbelievable? I have not embellished. All 100% true. What is so unbelievable about installing a tile floor, or putting red onions in a mask, or time in the military? Meeting Jesus I will give you, but that was totally true. I wanted to recount that event because I want people to hear the truth about what happens. I realize the vast majority won't believe it, but I walk away knowing that one more person has been informed. What else was there? Being a cop? Chasing a guy with a machete? Flying helicopters? I did, and was even on a counter-drug team for 5 years. As military, we would fly around the state police and sheriff dept looking for pot fields. Interdiction. Teaching English as a volunteer? Fucking and having a baby? Getting a settlement? I just don't think any of this should be viewed as unbelievable. It's all pretty normal crap. Now my next story on the other hand could open me up to some scrutiny. I wrote it years ago. It is 100% true. Will upload at 1200. This story is explainable, but I filed it under one of the top 10 weird encounters of my life. Sorry to clog, bring a plunger and some popcorn.
SmartAston Martin
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Re: ol onion eyes

Post by SmartAston Martin »

Bring it on, brother. The heathens can weep.
Melvin Udall: Never, never, interrupt me, okay?

Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint.

Even then, don't come knocking...Not for ANY reason.
JDMPRO777
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Re: ol onion eyes

Post by JDMPRO777 »

Summer / 2004 / THERE ARE THINGS IN THIS WORLD

An important aspect I am trying to maintain is honesty and accuracy with this document. I try to relate stories with a twist of humor in hopes that some of my follies can put a smile on someone’s face. They certainly have done that over the years in real life. I don’t want to exaggerate the truth or modify any details of it. No one wants to hear a person rant about their exaggerated life.
There are milestones in everybody’s life. Things you pass or celebrate or experience that you always remember. Things that change or shape you into the person you are. Some things stand out very vividly and will never be forgotten. The story I am going to tell you is the truth. I have not exaggerated any detail of it for any purpose; and I concede there are possible explanations for all of it. In the world of chaos many things can come together…

After I left the military I stayed in El Paso for a while. After several months I decided ultimately to move back to New England. I needed the green. I needed the water. I needed to be around my own people and I don’t mean that in any negative way. Not working, I stayed with my sister in an apartment building my uncle owned. This old large home had 2 apartments on the 1st floor and 2 on the 2nd floor. There was a large above ground basement which my uncle said was used as another apartment years ago. It also had a full attic which was being used for storage. This building had been owned by my uncle’s side of the family for years. Many generations of Polish family members grew up and lived there. Now it was his turn to own it.

So living with my sister was fine for a while, but then my uncle announced that the upstairs apartment was now vacant. He stated that the man who lived up there had suddenly left after living there for the last 23 years. He told me he left no notice and didn’t owe any money. He was reported to be very pale and not doing well, but no one knew what happened. He just left. So my Uncle John asked if I would like to rent it and I said I would take a look at it, but probably yes. He explained that no work had gone into it for many years and it needed some attention. He also asked if I remembered living in it when I was a baby. I said I did have one or two vague memories of this. He said his mother (my grandmother) and her husband lived there for many years. He said I lived there with my mother for a short while as well. He said there were lots of relatives who lived here over many years. I thought that was interesting, but my Uncle John being my Uncle John, and maybe it’s because he’s Polish, was absolutely trying to distract me from the fact that this apartment was a complete shit-hole. A little work huh? I said. He kind of laughed and said he would pay for anything I wanted to do with the place within reason if I donated the labor. I agreed.

I had recently come back from Operation Iraqi Freedom and this proved to be a great outlet. I went crazy; in a good way. Everything must go. I ripped out the kitchen; I ripped out the bathroom. I ripped down nearly every piece of horsehair plaster in each of its 7 rooms; 2 hallways; 2 closets; 1 pantry; 1 curio; 1 staircase and a bathroom. The porch was fine. I ripped up the kitchen floor through layers and layers of old linoleum and found a beautiful heart pine wood floor. My uncle agreed to have it refinished. New tub and surround; new kitchen counter; new stove; new refrigerator; new plumbing; new ceiling fans; new sinks. I refinished the built-in curio cabinet and removed the drop down ceiling and re-plastered a new one. It was all redone. I left everything a new sheet-rock white. It was all taped and sanded and hospital white. I had new white carpets and a beautiful floor and moved in all my acquired furniture when the Army delivered it. It was very therapeutic.

I finally decided on an odd choice of color for the living room (and please don’t read into this). I came up with a very soft lavender color. It matched the lavender in the large stained glass window in the center of the room. It was nice. Upon showing the room to my uncle and his sister (my mother) they went silent. They explained to me that their mother had always wanted this room to be painted this exact color. It was kinda strange, yet nice. So I settled in, and after a few months or so, I grew quite comfortable. I lived there alone with my dog Jasper and worked all day for my uncle locally. Not a lot of money in it, but it worked for the time being and I was living well. Then it started to happen.

I was lying in bed one night, fast asleep and was startled awake by my hair getting pulled. I jumped up and turned on the light. The light was a pull string type which I put an extra long chain on so it would dangle right over my bed. Nothing. That was weird I thought, and went back to sleep. A few nights passed and it happened again. I felt a lock of my hair get taken up – just a bunch of it picked up and deliberately pulled. What the fuck! I jumped up and turned the light on again and nothing. Now I checked the house. Two times is too much. Is my neighbor sneaking in and messing with me? I doubted it; Andrew was older, in his 50s. He worked at a local foundry for his whole life. Backbreaking work; shoveling sand and working around those blast furnaces. It’s what he did. He was a straight forward guy. No games with Andrew. I searched and searched; checked locks; checked windows. I thought maybe a mouse was jumping on me so I looked under everything and set traps but found nothing.

A few more days passed and I was sitting on the floor with my dog. My hair instantly went up on the back of my neck. I had the most overwhelming sense that something was in that room with me. I can’t explain it but I knew something was wrong. My dog either sensed it too or he sensed me. He jumped up and fixed his gaze directly over my head and was staring at something behind me. "It’s ok" I said to him… "what is it"? I remember the exact feeling I had at this time. Don’t turn around. Nothing is there. Don’t turn around. You’ve worked too hard on this place and you have nowhere else to go. Don’t be stupid you’ve been to war. You’re a grown man. Don’t turn around. There’s nothing there you idiot. But Jasper wouldn’t stop. He growled again and showed his teeth and kept his stare over the top of my head. I stood up and took his collar and walked forward into the bedroom with him closing the door behind me. Didn’t look back I said to myself. What the fuck. Time for a nap Jasper; and we did.

Several days later the hair pulling happened again and I was forced to start thinking in ways I didn’t want to think. I talked with Andrew about what was going on and he laughed. He said maybe it’s my old relative who used to live up in the attic. I said what? He said yeah, John told me that he had a relative when he was young that lived here many years ago who went crazy and he lived up in the attic. No one knew what happened to him but he stayed up there and finally died. I questioned, did my uncle evict the old tenant here or what? Andrew told me no way. He said John and he got along fine and John wasn’t the type of guy to do that to anyone even if it was for family. He thought it strange that the old tenant left in such a hurry leaving no message as to why, after living here for so many years. I agreed.

Well I think I started to get hyper-sensitive to things shortly after that. The feeling I was being watched would come and go. Things would bang in the night; I would hear footsteps in the attic above me. The walls seemed to be closing in. It culminated early one evening. I was standing in the kitchen and was looking down the front stairwell which led to the outside screen door. It was a pleasant sunny day. Andrew should be home soon and we can get our regular dose of cribbage-for-money. As I stood there, I once again got the feeling that something was behind me. It came on like a ton of bricks. Jasper immediately picked up on it again; but this time he retreated to the bedroom. I had had enough. I stood there almost waiting for something to happen. I called it out in my head; just do it if you’re there. At that exact moment my kitchen’s utility room door opened slowly, not all the way but it opened. It never did that. I snapped. I yelled out loud to it. Get out of here! You’re not wanted here! Leave! What happened next still gives me chills.

Whoever is reading this; if I ever offer this story up, and you are the one sitting there reading this; I’m talking to you. This happened. When I told it to get out, a violent, and I mean violent wind ripped over the house. It seemed to be a tornado of wind. At the bottom of the staircase, the outer screen door slammed open with so much force it looked man-made. The door flew open and stuck tightly to the outside of the house almost under strain. The wind continued. Howling now; there was a vacuum generated in the house. I stood there in shock and felt wind rush by me. I heard the whipping and moaning of wind tearing over the house. After what I recall to be approximately 30 full seconds, it stopped. The door below the stairs slammed shut with as much force as when it opened. The room immediately became brighter. There was a peace that came over the house and over me. There was now softness to the environment I was in. Details of painting could now be seen. Colors popped as they were intended. It was as though the apartment had a shade of grey removed from it. It was clean.

I stood there for quite some time after this happened. I stood there out of disbelief. I stood there because I felt it was my place to stand there. I had won. This was my ground and I will stand on it. But mostly I stood there because I have never felt such peace in an environment before. It enveloped me. It cast a spell over me and transported me to another place. It was pure inviting peace.
I thought about this everyday for years. There was no wind that day. There was no wind before that gust or after it. That door slammed open and slammed shut. This was real. This happened. I have never experienced fluke wind like that. What are the odds that exactly when I say get out this happens? What about all the other things? Nothing happened since. Well almost nothing.

Months passed and all was going great. My sister had her 1st baby. I was listening to the voicemail message when it came back. It was night. I was standing on those stairs this time and it flew in past me. It shocked me to the point where I lost my footing and fell down the stairs half-way. Holy shit I said, and crept back up the stairs. When I looked into the kitchen there it was. The biggest fattest bat I had ever seen was staring me down. I know bats can’t see. I’m not an idiot. But I’m telling you this bat sat on my kitchen counter and stared into my eyes.

The feeling of darkness was back. This bat didn’t move; it didn’t appear to be frightened or try to escape like any other animal that might inadvertently end up in our domain. It just sat there and looked at me. Ok I said and went to get a weapon. When I arrived back it was gone. I never saw it again but searched everywhere. Whatever it was, made its way back in and it told me it intended to stay. I moved shortly after for a job.

I laugh when recalling this story now, but the chills still follow. I always notice them. I realize bats live in old homes; I realize wind blows doors open; I realize that the sun may come out after the clouds blow away from it; I realize a lot of things. All I can tell you is that this happened. There are things in this world…
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