Love, Death and Difference

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LTO
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Love, Death and Difference

Post by LTO » Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:35 am

Just visiting with a VN girl here in the States I knew a bit in Cambodia. Used to talk to her and her barang beau in Sharky's a few years back. 25-year gap between them. They married, had a kid, she travelled the world with him to his various postings, returning to Cambodia in between contracts for R&R. My wife just happened to find her on FB while we were here in the States, talked to her a bit, turned out she was sort of nearby so we drove over to see them.

Turns out her husband died almost three years ago at 59. He was perfectly healthy, one day had a bit of pain in his gut, went to the doctor and turned up with pancreatic cancer. He was dead three weeks later. Left her very well fixed - two houses in the States, a very hefty bank account, a couple of luxury cars, SSI coming in every month for the kid. Financially, she is set for life. She had her green card, and worked to get her citizenship, which she did. She told me the story of his death and all that they had done, choking on her words, fighting back tears unsuccessfully. A photo of him sits on the table in her living room. Two years after his death her friends tried fixing her up with other guys, not that she needed a new man for financial reasons, but she didn't like any of them. About a year ago she started dating some new guy, 20+ years her senior. Now they live together. He has a young kid from a previous marriage and she is working to raise both hers and his now, as well as going to nursing school (and, of course, moonlighting doing nails.) She says she's beginning to relax a little again, doesn't think about her dead husband so much anymore, but still misses him terribly when her 4am courage fails her.

Love comes in many forms. Sometimes sorry to see the judgmental assholes the West breeds, full of themselves and contempt for anybody who doesn't see and do things their narrow way.

(inspired by the dowry thread in that other place.)
Last edited by LTO on Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Love, Death and Difference

Post by StroppyChops » Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:40 am

Nice post LTO.
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Re: Love, Death and Difference

Post by Garry.Crabtree » Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:05 am

As always excellent post LTO.
I just read the "other" thread and it made me chuckle. I love it when a few known posters said they married for love and their wife's aren't interested in money.

Yeah of course it does happen, just not very often. Do they ever ask themselves why a youngish beautiful girl would marry them?
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Re: Love, Death and Difference

Post by Joon » Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:31 am

Garry, it sounds to me you're not roaming the Interwebz enough to accept that there's no accounting for taste, or in this case "love."
I'd give anyone the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
Last edited by Joon on Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Love, Death and Difference

Post by JBTrain » Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:31 am

Thanks LTO.
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Re: Love, Death and Difference

Post by flying chicken » Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:42 am

Good post LTO. Your story reminded me of the old Khmer men back in NZ ditching their wives and marrying young chicks in Cambodia and fake marriages -- the relationships never lasted long; the chicks often ended getting bang by other Khmers in the community; sort of like soap opera with a never ending story.
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Re: Love, Death and Difference

Post by Garry.Crabtree » Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:51 am

Joon wrote:Garry, it sounds to me you're not roaming the Interwebz enough to accept that there's no accounting for taste, or in this case "love." I'd give anyone the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
Yeah maybe and as I said it does happen. But if you are a 50+ white guy in reasonable fitness are you really deemed a good catch for your looks and brains, or is it the security (financial) that you can give the girl?
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Re: Love, Death and Difference

Post by Bitte_Kein_Lexus » Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:53 am

Great read. Not much else to say/discuss.
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Re: Love, Death and Difference

Post by flying chicken » Tue Jul 15, 2014 10:03 am

Garry.Crabtree wrote:
Joon wrote:Garry, it sounds to me you're not roaming the Interwebz enough to accept that there's no accounting for taste, or in this case "love." I'd give anyone the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
Yeah maybe and as I said it does happen. But if you are a 50+ white guy in reasonable fitness are you really deemed a good catch for your looks and brains, or is it the security (financial) that you can give the girl?
Maybe it is love?
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Re: Love, Death and Difference

Post by Joon » Tue Jul 15, 2014 10:07 am

Garry.Crabtree wrote:
Joon wrote:Garry, it sounds to me you're not roaming the Interwebz enough to accept that there's no accounting for taste, or in this case "love." I'd give anyone the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
Yeah maybe and as I said it does happen. But if you are a 50+ white guy in reasonable fitness are you really deemed a good catch for your looks and brains, or is it the security (financial) that you can give the girl?
I agree with you that the motives of the women in maybe most cases would be financial and utilitarian but since I don't want to make a blanket statement about Cambodian/local women who wed older/much older men mainly/purely for financial security, they will have the benefit of the doubt from me until their marriages/actions/statements prove otherwise.
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