Love, Death and Difference
Re: Love, Death and Difference
I agree love takes many forms and the "Love" that everyone wants is many times not practical. Western women seem more than not to want that undying, worship the ground they want on and above everything else type. Having to realize later that on that that type is unrealistic.
I don't like to view marriage as a business deal but essentially you're right, it has to be agreed upon and certain goals to put your relationship into perspective.
I have asked my gf, so how do guys here know who they love? She would look at me strange. And she says something like, well they look at them and like them and want to marry them. I still didn't understand. So later on she said, they watch the girls too to see if they take care of her family, doing chores and helping in the fields. This is province style of course and a little old school. but I liken it to what I heard in India, "You marry, then you fall in love." That's pretty optimistic but I guess it's their culture.
But I'm rambling about nothing.
I don't like to view marriage as a business deal but essentially you're right, it has to be agreed upon and certain goals to put your relationship into perspective.
I have asked my gf, so how do guys here know who they love? She would look at me strange. And she says something like, well they look at them and like them and want to marry them. I still didn't understand. So later on she said, they watch the girls too to see if they take care of her family, doing chores and helping in the fields. This is province style of course and a little old school. but I liken it to what I heard in India, "You marry, then you fall in love." That's pretty optimistic but I guess it's their culture.
But I'm rambling about nothing.
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- Expatriate
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Re: Love, Death and Difference
I was reading that dowry thread as well and I thought "What bullshit". I am under the age of 30 and so is my Fiancee. There has never been nor will there ever be any talk of a dowry between her family and mine in any manner. We are starting to make the moves to get her a visa to the U.S. in order to marry, get a green card and start our live's together there. When marriage does come, there will be no dowry paid.
Our engagement was pretty nice, considering it is just a half-day event. It was a special day for both of us. The total cost for the engagement, all in was about $2,000. Her family paid for about half of that, even though I offered to pay for it all several times. My fiancee's mother and father are not wealthy, but the rest of her immediate family is. They are wealthy through agriculture (Rubber and pineapple farms) and not corruption nor government positions. So they are very cool and discreet with their money. That being said, I would say that my Khmer in-laws have spent more on me than I have on them. I never had much a family back home. Two loving parents, which is great, but not much of an extended family. I feel more comfortable around my Khmer family-in-law than I do most of my extended family back home.
The point of me saying all this is not to go into specifics about my life nor to talk about my personal financial situation or those around me. It is just an example of how there are some great Khmer people out there. When it comes to marriage and what not, sometimes, it is just love, nothing more.
I guess most of the time, the raised eyebrows are there because the western man is twice the woman's age. I am just really happy that my in-laws are all decent people. Sorry if my writings above lack a point. Just adding another mark to the scoreboard for great Khmer people.
Our engagement was pretty nice, considering it is just a half-day event. It was a special day for both of us. The total cost for the engagement, all in was about $2,000. Her family paid for about half of that, even though I offered to pay for it all several times. My fiancee's mother and father are not wealthy, but the rest of her immediate family is. They are wealthy through agriculture (Rubber and pineapple farms) and not corruption nor government positions. So they are very cool and discreet with their money. That being said, I would say that my Khmer in-laws have spent more on me than I have on them. I never had much a family back home. Two loving parents, which is great, but not much of an extended family. I feel more comfortable around my Khmer family-in-law than I do most of my extended family back home.
The point of me saying all this is not to go into specifics about my life nor to talk about my personal financial situation or those around me. It is just an example of how there are some great Khmer people out there. When it comes to marriage and what not, sometimes, it is just love, nothing more.
I guess most of the time, the raised eyebrows are there because the western man is twice the woman's age. I am just really happy that my in-laws are all decent people. Sorry if my writings above lack a point. Just adding another mark to the scoreboard for great Khmer people.
I'll give ya 500 Riel for it...
Re: Love, Death and Difference
marriage and the desperate search for a relationship are in fact anxiety disorders.
most of those with often changing sex-/lifepartners are schizophrenic.
thats old news.
most of those with often changing sex-/lifepartners are schizophrenic.
thats old news.
- StroppyChops
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Re: Love, Death and Difference
No, that's a pretty insightful look into culture.thePeck wrote:I agree love takes many forms and the "Love" that everyone wants is many times not practical. Western women seem more than not to want that undying, worship the ground they want on and above everything else type. Having to realize later that on that that type is unrealistic.
I don't like to view marriage as a business deal but essentially you're right, it has to be agreed upon and certain goals to put your relationship into perspective.
I have asked my gf, so how do guys here know who they love? She would look at me strange. And she says something like, well they look at them and like them and want to marry them. I still didn't understand. So later on she said, they watch the girls too to see if they take care of her family, doing chores and helping in the fields. This is province style of course and a little old school. but I liken it to what I heard in India, "You marry, then you fall in love." That's pretty optimistic but I guess it's their culture.
But I'm rambling about nothing.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
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