Lookin' After Momma

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Kung-fu Hillbilly
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by Kung-fu Hillbilly » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:31 pm

FreeSocrates! wrote:
Kung-fu Hillbilly wrote:Talking to my best mate in Nepal recently he was telling me how he'd just bought his Nepalese mother in law a new washing machine which she has put to good use renting its services out for others in her village at 70 rupee (around .75 cents I think) a load - it's the only one in the village. He has also placed his nepalese brother in law into a good job within the hotel he has a small vested interest in. On top of that my generous friend also pays the college fees of his young sister in law, he has also bought two used scooters for the family to use between them, bought a fridge and tv for the mother in law as well as paying for her gas bottles and utilities(Pappa died some years ago). My friend isn't a wealthy man by western standards and lives himself on about $15 000 a year. (Simple living IS cheap in Nepal however)

Do you believe there to be an obligation on your western part to be supportive of less advantaged in laws in a similar way as mentioned above regardless the expectation or lack there of?
For example, when that washing machine in Nepal breaks down, who pays for it? Did she save enough from it's over use to invest back into her business?
I actually know the mother and family quite well and believe the mother would offer to pay for the repair from the revenue generated from the machine's use. I also know my friend would insist on paying himself as he feels he is very lucky to have married into such a very honourable family. But I get your jist.

The support, and to what degree the level of that support, would have to largely depend upon how one was respected, considered or treated by the family. If you are perceived as only a barang cash cow for the milking, personally, I'd give mom and pop a small token gesture of monthly support and be done with it. If on the other hand the family were independent, doing what they can and displaying responsible financial behavior, I'd be happy to help where I thought there was a genuine requirement or need.
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General Mackevili
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by General Mackevili » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:33 pm

Help if you can. I can't imagine note helping out your family back home either, if they genuinely need the help and you can.

ThE problem out here in Asia is when you feel like you're required to be the new ATM that the family has been waiting for.

That seems to happen a lot.
"Life is too important to take seriously."

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Bitte_Kein_Lexus
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by Bitte_Kein_Lexus » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:59 pm

horace wrote:In Asia you marry into the family, so yes you have some obligation. This is what has put me off relationships here, I'm far too fucking selfish to worry about anyone else.
Spot on. Summarizes both Cambodian society and myself as well.
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GMJS-CEO
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by GMJS-CEO » Thu Jun 19, 2014 7:30 pm

The misses brother is a gambling fool. I lent him $100 once to supposedly keep him from lock up. May have been true but anyway the misses ended up threatening to call the cops to get my loot back and he paid me back. The money was handed to me by his wife and he wouldn't get off the moot or make eye contact.

I since discovered that he has been jacking the family for years. Stealing younger bro laptop, borrowing and never paying back mom, threatening his sisters when they were 12 & 14 years old to give him the $20 Khmer new year gift they received, etc.

Took me some time to find out as the family is ashamed of it. Seems I was lucky to get the money back. Anyway, I hope to never see him again or hear his sob stories where he never asks for money but is obviously hoping.
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Hotdigr
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by Hotdigr » Thu Jun 19, 2014 9:12 pm

Obligated - no. Help out if needed - of course. Just my opinion
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Digg3r
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by Digg3r » Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:37 am

Yeah, I helped out my ex mother in law. Did everything for her, gave her money, food, payed off her debts. Built her a house, etc..

The bitch turned on me in a second and tried to set me up for unspeakable acts.

I've now gathered all the evidence and still yet to make up my mind as to whether I want to file charges against her or have a more localized version of justice handed out.
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General Mackevili
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by General Mackevili » Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:54 am

Digg3r wrote:.... a more localized version of justice handed out.
^ This has my vote!
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flying chicken
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by flying chicken » Fri Jun 20, 2014 9:02 am

OP, I think what your friend did is a good and the right thing; instead of continually giving, he provides something that can sustain their livelihood. I don't think I have much of an obligation as I married to an orphan, not out of love but pettiness; but man has she got alot of siblings. I have been looking after two in the last 2 months as they were on verge of being homeless and we even barely make ends meet -- and not once I was forced to take on such responsibility, I did it on my own. I am a drifter man , and my wife knows that, and she stands by me in good and bad time.

I am on the verge of going nuts in the last month with everything happening around me; and one of a few places I can find sanity is talking shit online (lol). Anyway off topic, I am putting (hesitantly) a Fujifilm Finepix S1500 digital camera up for sale in the FB page buy and sale later on today; originally lent but now is given. I dont know what the market price is, so I am putting it up for 50 bucks or obo. If anyone is interested, let me know.
EVERYONE BOW DOWN AND PAY EXTREME HOMAGE TO HIS MAJESTIES flying chicken©
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by HotRecruiter » Fri Jun 20, 2014 9:10 am

No, just put them in a home to rot, neglect them, and whatever you do, DO NOT TREAT THEM LIKE THEY'RE YOUR OWN FAMILY! The same will happen to you, hopefully.

The logical answer: yes, you must care for them, you're being double-taxed: by your government, which takes care of the elderly for you, you just pay, and by your family in-laws, who never paid into the system so will never receive those benefits.

No avoiding death and taxes, even unofficial (but real) taxes ...

And your girl will be quite happy with little things.

Suggestions: multi-vitamins for elderly. Best thing for them. About $50 per year per elderly person over, say, 50+. It's something they value (good health), keeps them away from the doc, and is a DAILY reminder of your help.

Fans, the long-lasting ones (HATARI). They last a generation or more. Well-worth the extra cost.

Booze, cigs: never. Bikes: not.

Generator? Maybe, but they gotta buy gas and fix it. Hot water heater? Good one.

Gold: never. Just get her a CD instead.

You may be asked to pay tuition for someone. Cheap as chips. Use them as a nice house girl/house boy. They pay off in the long run. :)
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Re: Lookin' After Momma

Post by StroppyChops » Fri Jun 20, 2014 1:48 pm

flying chicken wrote:I am on the verge of going nuts in the last month with everything happening around me; and one of a few places I can find sanity is talking shit online (lol). Anyway off topic, I am putting (hesitantly) a Fujifilm Finepix S1500 digital camera up for sale in the FB page buy and sale later on today; originally lent but now is given. I dont know what the market price is, so I am putting it up for 50 bucks or obo. If anyone is interested, let me know.
I'll give you $50 for that...
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