Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Married

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FreeSocrates!
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby FreeSocrates! » Wed May 28, 2014 2:45 pm

thePeck wrote:It's to both: Khmer/Khmer or Barang/Khmer. It could have originally been to save face and maybe still, in more conservative families.

But after 1yr my gf calls me her husband and I call her my wife. It's taken different by different people. Her province knows we aren't "married" but we sleep in the same room and kiss/hold hands outside. It's just agreed we are.
Roughly 1 year seems to be the defacto cut-off where you start earning this label at least for the people I know.

At least there is a probationary period.
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby Mrs Stroppy » Wed May 28, 2014 5:28 pm

thePeck wrote: Her province knows we aren't "married" but we sleep in the same room and kiss/hold hands outside. It's just agreed we are.
Being fairly new to PP, what is culturally acceptable for public displays of affection here? Is holding hands OK? Hugging?
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby StroppyChops » Wed May 28, 2014 5:38 pm

Mrs Stroppy wrote:Being fairly new to PP, what is culturally acceptable for public displays of affection here? Is holding hands OK? Hugging?
None! No! Oh God, no! :D
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby Joon » Wed May 28, 2014 5:42 pm

Holding hands and holding arms for couples are A-Okay.
His arm around her waist or shoulder is also no problem.

Leaning onto his shoulder while seated should also be okay. Chaste kisses (not French/wet) on the lips, on the cheeks, the forehead should also not raise an eyebrow since I assume you would look in public as a long-time married couple.

Brief hugs on the safe side.

I have to think hard because been a long time I didn't have any PDAs :lol:
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby Mrs Stroppy » Wed May 28, 2014 5:49 pm

Thanks joon
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby giblet » Wed May 28, 2014 9:32 pm

My partner does this as well, and we're in a Western-on-Western relationship. So it's not just Cambodians. I am not sure what the translation is in Khmer, but in English we call it "wishful thinking."
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby thePeck » Wed May 28, 2014 9:57 pm

FreeSocrates! wrote:
thePeck wrote:It's to both: Khmer/Khmer or Barang/Khmer. It could have originally been to save face and maybe still, in more conservative families.

But after 1yr my gf calls me her husband and I call her my wife. It's taken different by different people. Her province knows we aren't "married" but we sleep in the same room and kiss/hold hands outside. It's just agreed we are.
Roughly 1 year seems to be the defacto cut-off where you start earning this label at least for the people I know.

At least there is a probationary period.
Lol it definitely seems true.
Mrs Stroppy wrote:
thePeck wrote: Her province knows we aren't "married" but we sleep in the same room and kiss/hold hands outside. It's just agreed we are.
Being fairly new to PP, what is culturally acceptable for public displays of affection here? Is holding hands OK? Hugging?
Joon wrote:Holding hands and holding arms for couples are A-Okay.
His arm around her waist or shoulder is also no problem.

Leaning onto his shoulder while seated should also be okay. Chaste kisses (not French/wet) on the lips, on the cheeks, the forehead should also not raise an eyebrow since I assume you would look in public as a long-time married couple.

Brief hugs on the safe side.

I have to think hard because been a long time I didn't have any PDAs :lol:
In Phnom Penh at least. I've heard others say that when they visit their gf's family in the province that holding hands was on the fringe of acceptable. Just normal, chaste kisses, was a completely intolerable. And he had to stay in her brothers house or some outhouse type thing lol the night he stayed.

My gf has told me that when she was a child, 5 years ago.... I'm just kidding. But ya like 1995 here, the guy never talked to the girl, unless it was during the meeting of families when he asks her family to marry her. She never knew a guy liked her until his family came or talk to hers. She then said she'd either refuse to come down or run out of the house lol.
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby thePeck » Wed May 28, 2014 9:59 pm

giblet wrote:My partner does this as well, and we're in a Western-on-Western relationship. So it's not just Cambodians. I am not sure what the translation is in Khmer, but in English we call it "wishful thinking."
I never called my western gf's anything beyond gf. Any many times during the right time I was more colorful in my descriptions of our relationship and my needs.
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby StroppyChops » Wed May 28, 2014 10:06 pm

giblet wrote:My partner does this as well, and we're in a Western-on-Western relationship. So it's not just Cambodians. I am not sure what the translation is in Khmer, but in English we call it "wishful thinking."
Take it as a statement of intent, or as we say in the west, "RUN, FORREST, RUN"
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Re: Expats who Call Their GF's 'Wife', When They Aren't Marr

Postby General Mackevili » Fri May 30, 2014 9:34 am

FreeSocrates! wrote:
But what is the reason they do it? Are they forced into it by their 'Wife'? Does it give the 'Wife' more status? Is it to save face, because they are shacking up before they are actually married?
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