Expats needing a helping hand

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atst
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Expats needing a helping hand

Post by atst »

Many times I've read on here of people falling though the cracks over here and wondered why/how they got that bad
Do they live alone with no friends/family to go to or just don't ask for help
Yes we can blame them for their own actions but some people just need a little friendship and advice before disaster strikes and they become beyond help.
Perhaps this thread can be for such folks and C.E.O members if they know such person can offer a little help before it escalates
Don't be scared to ask for help
Make 2020 a good year
I'm standing up, so I must be straight
What's a poor man do when the blues keep following him around.
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John Bingham
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Re: Expats needing a helping hand

Post by John Bingham »

Many of those "expats" who have fallen through the cracks are people who have decided to extend their holiday here and party hard. They end up in a mess as they usually haven't been here long enough to develop any decent friendships. Some are out of control before they ever hit these shores. Others develop on previous bad habits by getting into worse ones.
I know a wide range of people here and we do actually look out for each other. The difference is that we all have long respected track records, and can trust each other. Someone who lands here and soon spirals out of control is not likely to get the same respect. It's very difficult if not impossible to have much influence on someone when they are heading in that direction.
Sure you can try and help, but it's a lot to take on and people just do stupid shit and self-destruct all the time and there's not much you can do about it.
Silence, exile, and cunning.
Anchor Moy
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Re: Expats needing a helping hand

Post by Anchor Moy »

John Bingham wrote: Thu Jan 02, 2020 9:06 pm Many of those "expats" who have fallen through the cracks are people who have decided to extend their holiday here and party hard. They end up in a mess as they usually haven't been here long enough to develop any decent friendships. Some are out of control before they ever hit these shores. Others develop on previous bad habits by getting into worse ones.
I know a wide range of people here and we do actually look out for each other. The difference is that we all have long respected track records, and can trust each other. Someone who lands here and soon spirals out of control is not likely to get the same respect. It's very difficult if not impossible to have much influence on someone when they are heading in that direction.
Sure you can try and help, but it's a lot to take on and people just do stupid shit and self-destruct all the time and there's not much you can do about it.
Yes, I agree with JB. And this is a nice idea for a thread OP. When you have friends that have been here for a while, you look after each other. We have a support network. If you look at the majority of cases where the shit hits the fan, it's either new arrivals to Cambodia, or it's people that have used and abused their friends so much that there is no way of helping them.
However, most of my expat friends are pretty normal in fact. But I guess I don't judge them too much, because they are friends and we take our friends for how they are.
PIEMAN
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Re: Expats needing a helping hand

Post by PIEMAN »

:stir: i suggested after a previous case we could have set up a little fund for persons who came on hard times,it was a no no as too many on here just live in a bubble and don,t give a flying fuck about other persons. :please:
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Mr Cynical
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Re: Expats needing a helping hand

Post by Mr Cynical »

If that had happened we can all guess who would have beeen the first to put his hand out for some money
BR549
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Re: Expats needing a helping hand

Post by BR549 »

It seems like there are far more people in my home country ruining their lives than expats in SEA.
57,000 drug deaths from overdose in one year.. Thousands of murders with illegal weapons.
You have more people dying from fentanyl than died in 10 years of fighting in Vietnam.
I suppose I could one day grace this website with a 'heart attack' and be the focal point of speculation and condemnation.
I don't have any family left in the USA.
It is what brought me to Asia.
I tried Thailand and did not like it. I had a job offer that could of allowed me to stay. But, it would of meant going back to work a lot of hours. I tried Cambodia and felt more at home.
I admire people that make friends and have social lives. I spent my life being a Chef and single parent.
I moved around. I lost my son over 6 years ago.
I came to Cambodia to learn how to endure suffering from the pros.
I have now lived in chinaville, Kampot and Siem Reap.
I like Siem Reap very much. I have a great Khmer lady who doesn't have bad habits...a good thing for me.
I don't get out much.
I am concluding business in the USA and will be back in a few weeks.
I hope in 2020 I can develop some friendships.
I believe in helping...giving..
But, takers and tweakers and bullshit artists and people who want to borrow money are not going to be in my life in any country.
I lived on the East coast of the USA back in the 80s while in Culinary School. I had this guy for a year ask me for $3 because he had run out of gas and needed a few bucks...One day, I asked him if he recognjzed me.
I told him he had run out of gas about 300 times in front of my apartment.
I had so many staff members work hard and then go off the deep end...it was crack..then meth.
They would come ask for their jobs back all claiming they had found Jesus.
I like friends who don't use me- take advantage of my giving nature.
I am sure it is heartbreaking to see an expat you knew who was a sweet kid or nice bloke fall into the abyss.
I admire you for trying to give them a helping hand.
Happy 2020 to all..
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Cowshed Cowboy
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Re: Expats needing a helping hand

Post by Cowshed Cowboy »

One thing I've noticed on threads on here and in Thailand is people discussing leaving one country in the region for another due to often minor visa changes, cost of living or seemingly saving a few dollars here or there, general pissed offness with the local system, rules and regulations or the locals themselves. In these cases what never seems to get mentioned is the prospect of leaving long standing friendships. You can't put a value on this aspect of expat life and certainly at this stage of my life the thought of relocating to another country without a social and support network of friends would be a slightly scary prospect.
Yes sir, I can boogie, I can boogie, boogie, boogie all night long.
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phuketrichard
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Re: Expats needing a helping hand

Post by phuketrichard »

Cowshed Cowboy wrote: Fri Jan 03, 2020 10:40 am One thing I've noticed on threads on here and in Thailand is people discussing leaving one country in the region for another due to often minor visa changes, cost of living or seemingly saving a few dollars here or there, general pissed offness with the local system, rules and regulations or the locals themselves. In these cases what never seems to get mentioned is the prospect of leaving long standing friendships. You can't put a value on this aspect of expat life and certainly at this stage of my life the thought of relocating to another country without a social and support network of friends would be a slightly scary prospect.
:thumb:
I am relocating after nearly 34 years in thailand and its not cause of the visa situation or saving $$, ( i doubt i can live cheaper in Cambodia than Thailand), leaving friends i have known almost half my life, ( but they wont be far away).
Am lucky in that i am moving to where my khmer gf has sisters and i know a few people which is plenty for me. Its the right time as we have ideas for a few things we can do in Cambodia that would be impossible for us to achieve in Thailand
If you have true friends, just cause you don't see them every day/week/month does not lessen the relationship.
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
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atst
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Re: Expats needing a helping hand

Post by atst »

Great responses yes many of us have given someone a hand and sometimes you wonder why you did it , or don't want to get involved in someone else's bad choices as it can lead to trouble for you and your loved ones.
I've been given a hand over the years and could never repay back the kindness, but I've returned the kindness to others.
Not everyone has a network of friends and most I'd think got the network of friends though working
If you find yourself needing help ask for it , it maybe just needing someone to talk to, I've found living in the province after a few months it's great to get back into town and chat to someone in a restaurant or bar, but even that can be disappointing you meet some characters in your travels
I'm standing up, so I must be straight
What's a poor man do when the blues keep following him around.
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Phnom Poon
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Re: Expats needing a helping hand

Post by Phnom Poon »

it's not just for kids, we all have imaginary friends

who are real people

.

monstra mihi bona!
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