I've banged up a broad but I've never been banged up abroad. The police beatings as a youth made me respect the Police as an adult. I think beatings should be mandatory for every young man.

I was handed a two-year federal sentence in Australia as a hacker, before hacking laws existed, so the charges were fraud and forgery. I'm on an NDA for part of the offences as I was a Commonwealth Officer at the time and used Commonwealth computer systems to hack Australian banking networks and also pissed of NASA, which as it turns out has no real sense of humour. Without revealing too much, the Commonwealth mainframes at the time ran the same OS as NASA and the training was provided through Houston, which had stupidly left backdoors to the live systems open. And that's where the NDA kicks in.

The judge saw me privately in chambers before sentencing and admitted he didn't know whether to give me two years or twenty as there was no Australian precedent for my offences, and I told him I'd honestly prefer two over twenty. He asked certain promises of me related to not re-offending, and then agreed to the minimum he thought reasonable with time served in remand. As it was victimless crime and I'd already made full restitution (it was about proving I could do it, not about getting rich) he stated he wanted to release me for time served but didn't want to waste time arguing with the Commonwealth for being too lenient.

As a federal prisoner I was remanded until sentencing, and then served time in maximum security, then gen-pop, then farm before becoming the state trustee at the processing centre at the East Perth Lockup. My last weeks at Her Majesty's Leisure were served at the police stables tending police horses as a reward for being a very good boy (aka compensation-in-kind for being head trustee). A fellow inmate took over the duties at the stables on my release but scarpered, causing that option to be removed.

I entered the system as a young mouthy smartass and left as a rehabilitated man with a traditional jail-house Christian conversion (yes, in solitary) under my belt. I'm one of the few for whom incarceration was corrective.

It's not something I brag about, but it's part of the history that shapes who I am today and so I don't shrink away from it. Weirdly, I'm still not allowed to enter Hong Kong, which had no bearing on the crimes other than they already had cybercrime laws. Also weirdly I later lectured in cybercrime prevention and one of my graduates went straight on to work for the Australian Federal Police in cyber security.

I estimate that around 30% of the men I met in prison were innocent.

On reading the thread title, I assumed it was one for the ladies.

TOG wrote: ↑Sun Apr 14, 2019 1:14 am On reading the thread title, I assumed it was one for the ladies.

Is that your ride in your avatar, TOG?

I'm a boring guy. Never got drunk or taken any drugs in my life, never been involved in even a brawl despite a few drinks in dubious company like Gonk or Jamie.

However I did do time in a cell. On the US Mexican border at San Ysidro near San Diego. Along with a bunch of Mexican illegals and dealers. I was driving back to the US and the guys at the border had never seen a Belgian passport before, I had no visa to they locked me up during the time it took them to look up for the visa waiver program. I was out after a few hours, not keen on repeating the experience.

Still waiting to hear if anyone got the lock up right here in Cambodia.

John Bingham wrote: ↑Sat Apr 13, 2019 2:50 am I must have been arrested about 20 times in various European countries and spent a good few nights in the cells but never got charged with anything so no, never really been banged up as such. All a long time ago and funny to think of now but I was young and foolish.

This. A few miserable nights in jail cells here and there in my younger days when travelling overseas and getting myself in stupid situations, but you live and learn (if you're lucky).

What would be the best and worst prisons in the world?