Defining the sexpat.

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clutchcargo
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by clutchcargo »

BklynBoy wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 3:17 am
Alex wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:18 pm To me, a sexpat is someone whose main motivation for becoming an expat is sex. Simple as that. A typical case would be a guy who holidays in Pattaya as a sex tourist, then moves there once retired to make it a year-round thing.
I agree w/ this to a point. What about the Law of diminishing returns ? Especially after moving to Thailand as your comment states, then person establishes friendships, connections and does the hostess bar scene but doesnt do it all the time.
I've met expats over here that I think will monger forever. Others get sick of the bar scene after being here a long time and eventually look for something more sustaining or just happen to find that 'special one' to settle down with.
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clutchcargo
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by clutchcargo »

SternAAlbifrons wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:13 pm
hunter8 wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 9:57 pm A western man marrying an asian woman in Asia will be labeled as a sexpat too by a broad definition.
When they see you two walking in the street together they will automatically assume the most common type of short-term relationship,
Good point you bring up, Hunter- i get that whenever i travel out of my small town. (and my wife is just about to hit 50!)
From western tourist more than anybody. You can see the narrowed eyes, the thin pursed lips and unhidden look of distain.

Yeah, a tax in a way - but you soon get to totally ignore it.

At least you don't get so many of those other suspicions so much - that us older single guys get when out alone.
"Hmm - now is he one of those pedo's?"
I can't blame them, i used to do it myself. But it makes me hate the pedo's even more.

Talking about living in Cambodia, when you are visiting the West, is fraught with those suspicions too.
Either/or - pedo or sexpat? You can see that in many peoples eyes too.
If there's a decent age gap, I'd say worse in the west. Here, it's not so unusual for a well off guy to have a much younger wife.
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by Mishmash »

Yerg wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 4:41 am
SternAAlbifrons wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 9:04 pm No offence or self-righteousness intended

but i can't help thinking the reason some of the guys that have such a low opinion of western women, and their chances of hooking up with a good one, might be because they just ain't going to the right places.
And then some make that same mistake again here - if they really are looking for something other than a reverse ATM with a vagina attachment.

Unless you are hooked on the 20's yr/old bracket, and value fresh velvet satin above all else - there are heaps of attractive (across the board attractive) women in the west.
IMO. and observation, and experience, only.
And i sure ain't no big catch, at all.
You have a point, to a point Stern. I've rarely had any issues with attracting women in my life. I consider myself lucky in this respect. And the age thing is not my bag. But my last 3 relationships with western women all ended the same way. 1. Divorce, lost everything. 2 & 3 wanted everything from me, and both seemed one way relationships. I pulled the plug on all 3.

The ladies in SEA are both lower and higher maintenance in equal degree, but for very different reasons. My Cambodian partner is emotionally high maintenance, but financially not so.
As a middle-aged man, I suppose it would be easy for me to be described as a sexpat/pervert/weirdo (whatever we are called nowadays). Most of my good friends all have Thai/Filipina/Khmer wives. My kids and close family have met and approve of my partner, and that's enough for me. Her family are happy that we are happy. What anyone else thinks really doesn't matter. I care only about opinions that matter. Les Fin.
There ya go! You're happy and so is she and the family too. :thumb: .
ofparadise
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by ofparadise »

upfront... did not read the 5 pages of comments, so I may be off base.

But seriously.... labels again.

When have labels ever ended up benefiting sociologists?... The stigma of any label itself should be examined.
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Yerg
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by Yerg »

ofparadise wrote: Thu Jan 23, 2020 12:06 am upfront... did not read the 5 pages of comments, so I may be off base.

But seriously.... labels again.

When have labels ever ended up benefiting sociologists?... The stigma of any label itself should be examined.
And that, I suppose, is the point of this thread. Nowadays, it seems that everything/everyone has to be labelled in one way or another. :please:
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John Bingham
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by John Bingham »

ofparadise wrote: Thu Jan 23, 2020 12:06 am upfront... did not read the 5 pages of comments, so I may be off base.
Yeah, you're way off base buddy. Go back and read the comments. :facepalm:
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by PIEMAN »

i think a sexpat is someone who walks around the riverside area with a chick 30 yrs younger than himself wether its a one night stand,a holiday relationship or a marrige.
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jaclu
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by jaclu »

PIEMAN wrote: Thu Jan 23, 2020 5:17 am i think a sexpat is someone who walks around the riverside area with a chick 30 yrs younger than himself wether its a one night stand,a holiday relationship or a marrige.
If you are after relationships with a large age span, just say that instead. That could at least in theory be a meaningful discussion. I have had a few relationships where my partner was from -20 to +10. For me/us the age gap was never an issue. I guess it could be considered a bit selfish to have a much younger partner in the sense that it will be likely that they have to be your caretaker once you can no longer function by yourself. But on the other hand, in other parts of life, having an older partner can be beneficial, they have both more life experience and have had time to gather more resources, so in the end I think it mostly evens out and it's up to those involved. But if you don't agree feel free to explain why.

I would say that a person in a long term relationship is per definition not a sexpat. Unless of course they also are into mongering on the side...
Anthony's Weiner
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by Anthony's Weiner »

PIEMAN wrote: Thu Jan 23, 2020 5:17 am i think a sexpat is someone who walks around the riverside area with a chick 30 yrs younger than himself wether its a one night stand,a holiday relationship or a marrige.
My wife is 32 years younger than me. I don t frequent hostess bars, karaoke bars nor prostitutes. She is university educated ( honours ) gainfully employed in a management position with a large organic rice exporter and has never worked in the bar, sideline nor entertainment industry. She was 23 when I met her some 7 years ago.

My ex, ( in America ) was 22 years younger than me, an attorney, white and employed at a Park Ave litigation firm that has offices in 4 countries. She too was never involved in the sex industry.

Some men are able to live their dreams, unconventional perhaps but not exploitive. Others sell pies at bars that employ underage girls, smoke meth and are asked to leave 3rd world countries as they are considered undesirable. But then again they may be living their dream life as well.
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BklynBoy
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Re: Defining the sexpat.

Post by BklynBoy »

Anthony's Weiner wrote: Thu Jan 23, 2020 8:10 am
PIEMAN wrote: Thu Jan 23, 2020 5:17 am i think a sexpat is someone who walks around the riverside area with a chick 30 yrs younger than himself wether its a one night stand,a holiday relationship or a marrige.
My wife is 32 years younger than me. I don t frequent hostess bars, karaoke bars nor prostitutes. She is university educated ( honours ) gainfully employed in a management position with a large organic rice exporter and has never worked in the bar, sideline nor entertainment industry. She was 23 when I met her some 7 years ago.

My ex, ( in America ) was 22 years younger than me, an attorney, white and employed at a Park Ave litigation firm that has offices in 4 countries. She too was never involved in the sex industry.

Some men are able to live their dreams, unconventional perhaps but not exploitive. Others sell pies at bars that employ underage girls, smoke meth and are asked to leave 3rd world countries as they are considered undesirable. But then again they may be living their dream life as well.
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