Child abuse

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OrangeDragon
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Re: Child abuse

Post by OrangeDragon »

Yeah, in LTO's cyclo example for instance... while they were all standing around in disapproval, had he jumped in to help it's altogether possible they would have also been participating in the mob beating of him because he butted into "Khmer business".
Samouth
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Re: Child abuse

Post by Samouth »

I hope it will change someday. However, the act of beating children still seem to be pretty normal amongst many Cambodians escially among the poor and middle class families and mainly the uneducated parents. it is like the only way they could think of to discipline their children. No matter how many Ngos are working against the violence on children and a number of promotions to end children violence are being done by all means, it still doesn't make any different in Cambodian society.
If i said i have never been beaten by my parents, i was completely lying. Since i was young, i was beaten many times by my dad. He is an alcoholic. So, everytime he was drunk, he always felt uncomfortable and unstatified with everything and he beat me with no reason. i was beaten by stick, whip and stingray tail. Everytime he beat me, he always said that i am Cambodian not America. So, i couldn't report it to police and the police would also not come to arrest him. He added, here is Cambodia and it doesn't have law in which parents can't discipline their children by beating. i believed that almost every Cambodian experienced this.

I think you have made a right dicision for not to involve. i guess even though you involved the situation would be the same. Sometime it might draw you into trouble. Better just let them be or report it to the police.
Last edited by Samouth on Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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StroppyChops
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Re: Child abuse

Post by StroppyChops »

Thanks for sharing a hard post, Samouth.
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taabarang
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Re: Child abuse

Post by taabarang »

This is a classic example of "damned if you do, damned if you don't (intervene) Unfortunately this is a country that still believes that if you spare the rod, you will spoil the child. I have no answer; if I did I would have interceded many times in our village, but for the peasants the notion of a foreigner determining what is right and wrong is unacceptable. If one could intervene and change the behavior of the parents it would be rewarding. As it is you must live with your painful memories and the child must live with the brutality of his or her parents and most likely pass i on to their children. It is so sad. I keep wanting a new Buddha to appear in Cambodia.
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Samouth
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Re: Child abuse

Post by Samouth »

i think the streotyp of ( If you spare the rod, you will spoil the child) will not be exist anymore in my generation or the next generation. It is really hard to blame my parents as well as other parents throughout the country, since almost all of them are unedcated and they were fully influenced from the Khmer Rouge.
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flying chicken
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Re: Child abuse

Post by flying chicken »

Bullshit! You make it out as people with little education using corporal punishment are animal. Then explain why most children who experienced corporal punishment are still filial to their parents till death. Then compare to the 'western civilized ways' of their educational punishment who put their parents in nursing homes and very little care or contact once their wings are fully matured. I'd rather hit my kids than letting them loose like experimenting their sexuality, drugs and load of other shits at a younger age. There need to be a balance on punishment of course.

Teachers in western countries still wish I could still use some form of corporal punishment esp in the ghettos.
EVERYONE BOW DOWN AND PAY EXTREME HOMAGE TO HIS MAJESTIES flying chicken©
Samouth
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Re: Child abuse

Post by Samouth »

There must be other ways to dicipline your children rather than using stick.
"Then explain why most children who experienced corporal punishment are still filial to their parents till death"
i think this is part of our culture in which we think that no matter what they (Parents) have done for us. They are still our parents who brought us life and fed us up. i guess you know this most of Cambodians (not all) are so much gratitude toward their parents and they always feel that it is their duty to look after their parents when they are old.

"Then compare to the 'western civilized ways' of their educational punishment who put their parents in nursing homes and very little care or contact once their wings are fully matured"
Again this is something about their culture. Moreover, more of people in the west are busy with their job, so they actually have no time to look after their parents. Therefore, putting them at nursing homes is the best choice. I guess their parents did the same to their grandparents, so it seems like they are following each other footsteps.
On the other hand, most of Cambodians are free, after the harvesting season, they will have plenty of them. As a result, the family members can take turn to look after the older people. i guess, if Cambodia has some nursing homes which is as well as the west countries do. Some of Cambodians will put their parents in too.

It is not the matter of being experienced of corporal punishment.
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LTO
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Re: Child abuse

Post by LTO »

I would never raise a hand against my children. It's not in my nature and I don't think it's the best way to teach them (which is the point disciplining them,) especially after acertain age. OTOH, I endured a certain amount of corporal punishment when I was young, both at home and at school. My parents felt themselves progressive at the time for limiting it to spanking or a smack on the leg, as opposed to the switch or a slap in the face that they felt when they were children. I don't feel that I suffered psychologically for it, and probably benefited from it. But it's a different time in the west now, and mostly unacceptable in any form, at least there. It is interesting though that today's western youth and schools are in such a miserable shape, and that coincided with the decline of corporal punishment, not that that necessarily indicates a causal relationship.
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OrangeDragon
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Re: Child abuse

Post by OrangeDragon »

I think there's a balance between corporal punishment and abuse. An open hand to the ass which delivers more of a shock/embarrassment than a hurt vs an action that will leave a bruise. Negative actions have negative consequences, and positive reinforcement alone fails to teach that.

Even in the US things are starting to come back around as adults realized the whole "don't spank kids" thing only produced a generation of youth who don't instinctively comprehend this.
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Re: Child abuse

Post by Soi Dog »

flying chicken wrote: I'd rather hit my kids than letting them loose like experimenting their sexuality, drugs and load of other shits at a younger age.
This coming from the young, married father whose vast majority of posts are about his past and present sexual conquests and desires. Maybe instead of spanking away your kid's natural sexual curiosities, you could put forth a better behavioral example for them to emulate.
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