I found the following quote in PARLER le Cambodian/COMPRENDRE le Cambodge.

Dans une conversation, le Khmer n'a pas peur du silence et peut rester de longs moments sans rien dire, sans que son interlocuteur ne parle non plus. Son silence ne signifie pas une gene, mais mais le bonheur d'etre avec autrui. Dans une reunion, ce qui restera comme souvenir, sera plus l'ambiance generale que le contenu intellectuel de l'echange.

In a conversation the Cambodian is not afraid of silence and and remain for a long time without saying anything without his questioner speaking either. His silence does not mean an embarrassment, but the happiness of being with others. In a meeting the memory that will remain is the general mood rather than the intellectual content of the exchange.

Well, I agree with this observation and while I enjoy the mutual affirmation of friendship, I do wish intellectual content played a bigger role. Cambodians, even uneducated ones, have much to offer if only they would unyoke themselves from the constraints of their outmoded cultural values. In addition, face saving puts too much of a value of non offensive lies than on truth that offends.

Who are you to determine if someone's cultural values are outmoded? Me, I appreciate a little silence and wish heartily that most people would shut the fuck up, most of the time.

Strange, I have the same reaction to your posts. I've taught them for years and lived in rural Cambodia with them for many more. I didn't expect stunning discussions about particle physics, but I do appreciate verbal interplay. And who the fuck are you to tell me that the culture is above criticism? How long have you lived here and do you speak reasonably fluent Khmer?

I have to occasionally remind myself to not fill a silence when sitting with Khmer friends. Good post, taa.

StroppyChops wrote:I have to occasionally remind myself to not fill a silence when sitting with Khmer friends. Good post, taa.

However, the silence may be filled with gestures

I just did a search for your book Taabarang - Parler le Cambodgian, Comprendre le Cambodge - only $75 !! from Amazon. I guess it's out of print and therefore rare ?

Heh! I'll post the story later of what happened during the week when our homestay tenant made a one-fingered gesture from the back of the tuktuk to a Chinese-Cambodian man who drive up behind us too aggressively in his big black SUV. It was quite a night.

StroppyChops wrote:Heh! I'll post the story later of what happened during the week when our homestay tenant made a one-fingered gesture from the back of the tuktuk to a Chinese-Cambodian man who drive up behind us too aggressively in his big black SUV. It was quite a night.

Please do.

We have a tenant staying in our homestay for a few months, he's a Brit, so needs watching (I jest). Works in justice/anti-trafficking.

We took the larger of our tuktuks (the big Chinese tuktuk truck version, custom built as an eight-seater) into Riverside the other night and had a pretty rough time of it on the roads with the wanker SUV drivers - even more than usual. We headed back to Boeung Tompun around 9pm and were toodling along Monivong when a Chinese-Khmer guy in a big black SUV shot from the inside lane directly in behind us and revved to try and move me out of his way. You could hear the turbo winding up and about to unleash and he'd not have been able to handle the rush and would have hit us. This scared the tenant, who yelled and flipped the guy the bird.

Next thing you know he's pulled back into the inside lane and shot forward to have words with me about it. He was clearly stunned to not be facing a meek and mild Khmer tuktuk driver and was a bit flustered, I told him to piss off and left him to it. He fell back but then followed us bumper to bumper (less than a foot of clearance) as we took the short cut through the service station onto MTT Bvd and again came around on me. They had the phones out videoing the whole event, and it turns out my passenger did too.

I pulled it up in the middle of the road with the hazards on, and he stopped alongside while he and his wife went apeshit at me that this guy had given them the finger. I tried to calm the situation but our tenant decided the injustice of it had gone on too long and jumped back into the fray, questioning the guy's intellect, driving ability, ethnicity etc., which really helped.

Bong was clearly at a loss to know how to proceed, and after 10 minutes of his ranting, and his wife demonstrating the one finger salute with glee, I asked him if we should say good night. He emphasised that he and I didn't have a problem, wished me a good night, and shot off.

My big concerns were initially whether he had a weapon, and later that the incident was scaring Mrs S greatly.

To the credit of the other drivers on the road, every single one of them stayed out of the confrontation and quietly went around us and on their way. I was amazed a crowd didn't gather.

taabarang wrote:Strange, I have the same reaction to your posts. I've taught them for years and lived in rural Cambodia with them for many more. I didn't expect stunning discussions about particle physics, but I do appreciate verbal interplay. And who the fuck are you to tell me that the culture is above criticism? How long have you lived here and do you speak reasonably fluent Khmer?

You taught "them" for years. Tells me all I need to know about your attitude towards the local folks. I've lived here long enough and who the fuck are you to question me? I couldn't give a shit if you've been here since the dawn of time and piss in the local language. You still have no right to decide your own way is better. Particularly when it comes to the harmless.