Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

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Kammekor
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by Kammekor »

Kayve wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:51 pm You're not paying for a bride, you merely reimburse the cost her parents spent to raise her and make you pick her.
But they also raised their sons, didn't they?
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by Kammekor »

ramone wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:38 pm
Kohker wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:28 pm Could someone please breakdown the various cost associated with a bride price as apposed to paying for a wedding, thanks
You will be paying for both unless the girl has been working in the sex industry then you only pay for the wedding. That is if you think a prostitute would make a fine wife. I always say there are no white picket fences in Cambodia.
While this is true in general, there are loads of exceptions. I'm one of them and I know more people in the same situation.

It's not a black and white situation, there's a whole scheme of grey scales in the real world.
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by Kayve »

Kammekor wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:57 pm
Kayve wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:51 pm You're not paying for a bride, you merely reimburse the cost her parents spent to raise her and make you pick her.
But they also raised their sons, didn't they?
https://universelles.net/2017/07/25/chb ... ian-woman/
It might be the reason (or not).

Any "chbab bros" ?
Don't forget the water buffalo
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Kammekor
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by Kammekor »

Kayve wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 5:06 pm
Kammekor wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:57 pm
Kayve wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:51 pm You're not paying for a bride, you merely reimburse the cost her parents spent to raise her and make you pick her.
But they also raised their sons, didn't they?
https://universelles.net/2017/07/25/chb ... ian-woman/
It might be the reason (or not).

Any "chbab bros" ?
I am aware of the 'chbab srey' but since I strongly disagree with them I also disagree with anything following from it, for instance the 'luy tuk doh' or bride price.

I believe 'chbab srey' is a major burden in Cambodian society, supporting major gender inequalities and justifying abuse. It's simply a medieval construct.
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by daeum_tnaot »

Kayve wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 5:06 pm
Kammekor wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:57 pm
Kayve wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:51 pm You're not paying for a bride, you merely reimburse the cost her parents spent to raise her and make you pick her.
But they also raised their sons, didn't they?
https://universelles.net/2017/07/25/chb ... ian-woman/
It might be the reason (or not).

Any "chbab bros" ?
If you don't support cultural impositions on women and seek to remove them (which is the general attitude towards Chbab Srey), then you should also be against cultural impositions on men that are also unjust.

By the way, apparently there is such a thing as Chbab Pros but maybe it is not as well known or enforced...
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by Kohker »

ramone wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:38 pm
Kohker wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:28 pm Could someone please breakdown the various cost associated with a bride price as apposed to paying for a wedding, thanks
You will be paying for both unless the girl has been working in the sex industry then you only pay for the wedding. That is if you think a prostitute would make a fine wife. I always say there are no white picket fences in Cambodia.
Why would I know or mix with girls in the sex industry?

Do you know or mix with girls in the sex industry in your home country? If not why would you do it here?
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by daeum_tnaot »

I have asked my 'local source' and she explained to me that, in the case of a family that doesn't have much money, they may take the bride-price and use it to pay for her side of the wedding. Or if they already have a reasonable amount of money, and according to their discretion, they will use their own money to pay for their daughter's side of the wedding. And then after the wedding they will give the bride-price to the bride, to be used by the couple for their future life.

For the wedding, the woman's side has to pay for more expenses. And the two families keep the donations they get from their guests according to whose guest it was. (I.e. if the groom's guest donated $100, then his family will keep that money.)
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by hunter8 »

Bride price is sort of a guarantee the future husband can provide for his family, shows his responsibility. Yes, it’s a good thing.

Second, it can be a compensation to the bride’s parents in countries with no safety net. Yes, it’s a good thing.

Thirdly, the husband will value his wife more if he had to work more than just with his well-hanged tongue to get her. Yes, there is a triple benefit in this tradition, at least triple.
The bride price bonds them together, the divorce rate compared to western countries is the best proof.
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by Kammekor »

hunter8 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 5:23 pm Bride price is sort of a guarantee the future husband can provide for his family, shows his responsibility. Yes, it’s a good thing.

Second, it can be a compensation to the bride’s parents in countries with no safety net. Yes, it’s a good thing.

Thirdly, the husband will value his wife more if he had to work more than just with his well-hanged tongue to get her. Yes, there is a triple benefit in this tradition, at least triple.
The bride price bonds them together, the divorce rate compared to western countries is the best proof.
The divorce rate in Cambodia is extremely low because loads of marriages aren't officially recorded with a wedding certificate. There's just a ceremony amd sometimes a statement from the village chief or the sangkat. If you don't record the wedding, you don't record the divorce.

Real divorce rates in Cambodia are at least as high as in the West.
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Re: Is paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture?

Post by hunter8 »

Kammekor wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 5:33 pm
hunter8 wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 5:23 pm Bride price is sort of a guarantee the future husband can provide for his family, shows his responsibility. Yes, it’s a good thing.

Second, it can be a compensation to the bride’s parents in countries with no safety net. Yes, it’s a good thing.

Thirdly, the husband will value his wife more if he had to work more than just with his well-hanged tongue to get her. Yes, there is a triple benefit in this tradition, at least triple.
The bride price bonds them together, the divorce rate compared to western countries is the best proof.
The divorce rate in Cambodia is extremely low because loads of marriages aren't officially recorded with a wedding certificate. There's just a ceremony amd sometimes a statement from the village chief or the sangkat. If you don't record the wedding, you don't record the divorce.

Real divorce rates in Cambodia are at least as high as in the West.
I don’t know. In the west it’s every second marriage, even more than that, ending in divorce. Is it that high in Cambodia? Really? I would guess there is much higher motivation not to divorce in Cambodia. It’s got to do with safety nets, pension, in Cambodia a family unit is much more important for survival.
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