Bars, clubs and pubs oh my!
Assuming that what he thinks is true, in particular it would be of interest to know if anyone knows who is behind this, why they do it, how they do it, and most importantly – because there are girls in Cambodia who he still cares for and would like to see again – whether they will ever stop.
The guy has endured heartbreak and tears that are more difficult to measure than the money he has spent.
He first went to Cambodia a little over 2 years ago now, primarily as a tourist/sightseer. He visited a few different places, and then got stuck in Siem Reap for a couple of weeks, where he enjoyed the nightlife. The details are a little sketchy here, but it seems that there were a couple of freelancers who he went home with from the nightclub there.
He returned only a few weeks later, primarily to try to find a girl who he slept with on his last night in Siem Reap and who had followed him to Phnom Penh (where he was flying from) where he left her at the bus station, only to worry about her later when he wasn’t able to contact her to say sorry.
He went back to the hostel in Siem Reap where the girl had worked, and found out that she was fine, but she’d moved to Phnom Penh a couple of weeks earlier, and he was given her new phone number.
This is going to be a long story at this rate.
There was a girl he met on Valentines Day and saw a couple of times, but it seemed fairly clear that for some reason she was not allowed somehow to see him, and this was probably the first sign of the problems that seemed to later follow him to Phnom Penh.
It was probably on this visit also where he met a woman who was very well known and well loved in Siem Reap and beyond, and they hit it off very well. Oddly, she seemed to know of him the first time he saw her and she was clearly very excited (she was acting completely crazy tbh) to know that he liked her. But after a girl had come over and grabbed her and taken her away in the nightclub the 2nd night they saw each other, it finished very quickly (although not until they saw each other cry).
Depressed from the ever more confusing goings on of Siem Reap, he went to spend a few days in Phnom Penh, at least in part in search of the girl he’d left at the bus stop.
Although it seems she’d been working in a bookstore (and when he’d met her she’d been working in a hostel), he oddly found her working in a bar. He saw her for a few days before she finished it (which was completely out of the blue thinking about it), but he ended up staying in Phnom Penh for about 3 months. Again oddly, he saw that girl one time again months later in another bar and took her home (paying this time), even though other girls in the bar said she didn’t work there. ????
At first Phnom Penh was good fun as he got into the nightlife scene, but then slowly he started having trouble taking girls home, particularly from the famous nightclub, where whenever he was drinking or talking with a girl, someone would come over and say something to the girl and it would finish just like that. He never found out what would be said to the girl, but no matter how well he was getting on with them, it would end it (one girl told him that she was told that he agreed to give the girls money but then never paid, so whether that’s what they were all told he doesn’t know). That must have happened AT LEAST 20-30 times though before he realised it was a waste of time and money going there.
The only time it wouldn’t usually happen would be if he took a girl into the club with him, and then normally they wouldn’t intervene, although at least once he took a girl in there after she finished work at a nearby bar and it happened with her and she quickly made her excuses and left.
In a bar nearby he started to have the same trouble.
He had some fun though meeting girls in the girlie bars, and the girls seemed to enjoy his company too. On one occasion a girl who was supposed to be back in her bar by 5, checked the time when she woke up shortly before lunchtime after 3 rounds (which is quite an effort for him), yelled “YOU NOT CUSTOMER”, took her $50, and ran out the door haha.
In the early hours of 1 April 2018 he had just had another disaster in the nightclub, when he fell into the as yet unknown (to him) ‘delights’ of Street 51, where a lady in a red dress caught his eye and he went over for a chat. The lady, it turned out, had had a couple of bad experiences that week and asked him if she could sleep with him that night. She said she didn’t want any money, she just wanted to be with someone nice and have a decent bed. She wasn’t drunk, she didn’t seem to take drugs, she was pretty, and she seemed like a very sweet girl and was charming, so although he said no at first (possibly concerned by the location of the pick up), he eventually ‘gave in’ (lucky him) and said she could come with him.
When he reflected on it over the next couple of days, he realised that it was the most comfortable night he’d ever felt in bed with a girl. He called her up, and they saw each other almost every day for the next 2 months. She told him once how much she loved him, and he has no doubt that she was telling the truth. He would see some other girls (mainly phone numbers he’d got before things had been ended in the nightclub) but he was having so much trouble by now that he would say to his regular friend that he didn’t understand why she was allowed to see him every day when there were clearly other girls who weren’t allowed to see him or who were warned off him (considering the rest of this story, he still doesn’t understand why it was allowed to go on so long).
They became best friends, and told each other everything about their lives. He always said that she wasn’t his girlfriend, but he’d buy her food and stuff. He went to her house, met her kids, blah blah blah. She was always there for him when he needed her.
After around 2 months he went back home to England. His best friend came to the airport to say goodbye, and………..off he went.
God this is going to be a long story.
He missed the girl. Much more than he thought he would. They spoke or messaged a few times, and she encouraged him to come back. He didn’t tell her he was coming, he just showed up. He saw her that first night (she didn’t believe it was him at first, she couldn’t speak for a few seconds) but he was…busy in a bar with another girl, even though it was her he had gone back for, and he told her she can’t come to the bar. He went to her room in the morning and she came to his hotel. He told her he’d be seeing other girls as well. She said it’s no problem. That morning he held her in his arms in bed and kissed her head. Everything was good. Then she went outside on the balcony. He went out eventually to see what was going on. She’d been on her phone. He knew right away everything had changed. She said she had a problem. She wouldn’t tell him what it was, but….she was already distant. She said goodbye and he asked when he could see her again. She said she didn’t know.
They saw each other maybe another 3 or 4 times after that. She never stayed over. The last but one time he sat outside his room afterwards and she stood next to him he held her tight in his arms and said he thinks he’s falling in love with her. “Bullshit”, she said, and off she went.
They had a row on the phone. He said she was lieing to him. He hung up and it seemed like it was over. He could handle that. It was better than being lied to. That night he met a girl in the nightclub. The next night he phoned the new girl and they arranged to meet that night. She said she was coming from out of town to see him. A few minutes later his girl rang and wanted to make up after the argument on the phone. He told her he had a date and it was too late to put her off (what an idiot), but they arranged to meet for food first. She looked amazing. “Hi baby” she said when she saw him. They ate intimately together, with him feeding her and taking a couple of kisses. She said she doesn’t know what to do. He told her his date was coming in a minute, she had to go. They kissed, she got up, and he watched her cross the street and he wondered what he had done. He will probably never forget watching her cross that street.
He saw the other girl that night. Gave her a fun night out, and the best sex of her life, and she stole £200 off him as he slept.
The next…..sigh…..noone is going to read this…
The next day he was sitting down having some food. This was the night of the football world cup final. Across the street he saw a girl who looked just like his girl. He wasn’t sure if it was her. She was going to sit down with a barang. Immediately he had this feeling of intense jealousy. “Don’t sit down with him babe”, he thought. She sat down. He got up and went over, but it wasn’t her. Still he didn’t decide which girl to see that night (he’d met another very sexy girl a few nights before and they’d had a great time and she left his hotel in a loved up daze, but as it turned out she would never go with him again). Maybe 30 minutes later he called his girl. And then it was too late. She’d just arranged to go to Thailand with the man she saw after he left before. She refused to see him that night. She said she wanted to be alone. He was desperate and he was heartbroken, and he suddenly realised how much he loved her.
THIS IS WHERE HE STOPS LOOKING LIKE A PRICK AND WHERE YOU SHOULD START TO FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.
The next night she saw him before she went to the airport. They had a few hours. It was different to any other time. They made love, and then he kissed her all the way up her back, and he held her neck in his mouth as he looked her throat and her face, and they breathed together. Her heart beat changed to his rhythm, and they lay there in silence with their hearts beating as one.
He didn’t know what to do. To let her sleep or let her go. She didn’t know either. In the end she went, telling him she loves many men. She promised him she’d be back in 2 weeks, but he only ever really saw her one more time, a few months later, and just for a few minutes as they sat holding hands and feeling their love again as they stared into each others’ tearful eyes.
He hung around in Phnom Penh for a few days like a broken soul. He went back day after day to the bar where she ‘worked’, and sat there in misery, sometimes crying outside, sometimes only inside.
Then he went back to Siem Reap. By now (it may have been earlier than this) no girl in Siem Reap could go with him. On his first day back there (on this visit or possibly the previous one) he called a girl he knew from before and who would sleep with him for $30 (she was a very attractive girl), and they had good sex (from her reaction it was possibly the best she’d ever had), and slept together for about 2 hours. The first time he met this girl was the day before her birthday and she’d seen him again on her birthday until they bumped into her ‘boyfriend’ (giant haystacks) when things went a bit awry. Anyway, that day that he came back it was very nice, and it helped him. She felt some of the love he had for the other girl. But then she asked for money. Demanded $50. He was a bit aggrieved by her commercial nature, seeing what a nice time they’d had, and gave her $30 and escorted her to the door. She’d already told him that she was going to see “HIM”, because she was going to Thailand the next day and she had to see HIM before she could leave. Another girl asked our guy a few days later if he knew “HIM”. He said he didn’t, and the girl said, “HIM knows you”.
There are 2 girls from that week in Siem Reap that he really wanted to be with, still desperate to soften his heartbreak. One gorgeous girl who was freelancing in the nightclub, and who he hit it off with very well, but she clearly was NOT ALLOWED to see him. He offered her A LOT of money, and she checked the room/club and said she can not go. Another young girl who was at university, he took out for the evening, they had a great time and she came back with him. When they got back there was a ghekko squashed from half way down outside his room. After about a minute in his room when she was folding his clothes, she suddenly said she has to go, and ran out of the room crying. She was GORGEOUS that one. By this time a Russian guy who looked a bit like Geoff Bridges in Iron Man, and who knew the $30 dollar girl and had been giving him funny looks in the nightclub had moved into his hotel (out of all of the 100s of hotels he just suddenly appeared at breakfast one morning). When he asked the hotel to show security footage of the ghekko, an image appeared of the Russian guy before the hotel staff quickly said that they were showing the wrong floor and that they didn’t have footage of his floor after all.
2 nights before he left Siem Reap, he ran into some trouble when he chose the wrong time (and as it turned out the wrong girl but I won’t go into that) to lose his temper at the various misfortunes he was suffering, squaring up to a guy who he thought had cut in on a girl he was talking to. The guy turned out to be one of the local fight club and the following night (having evidently been thrown out that night in the mele) returned with several of his friends, apparently intent on giving our guy the kicking of his life, as the security staff backed away. Our guy managed to make with the feet and get out of there (after realising that the girl he was talking to wasn't the university girl from the other night at all but a not particularly great 'lookalike' he'd seen the following night) after one of the gang turned out to be a decent guy and pacified things to an extent. The only other time he got into trouble there was on one of the earlier visits when a guy spent about 30 minutes following round doing kung fu moves including right up into his face, after our guy had talked to a girl who had just blown the kung fu guy out. Our guy knew that the girl liked him as they’d met the night before and she clearly wasn’t the least bit interested in kung fu guy and seemed a bit scared of him. It only came to an end when the bouncer of the club came out and spoke to the guy who then calmed down. Our guy saw the kung fu guy in the nightclub in Phnom Penh about a year later and the guy clearly remembered him even though it wasn’t until the next day that our guy remembered who he was.
2 weeks had passed now and he spoke to his girl who had now got back from Thailand. He asked if he should come to her house, but she said no she’d see him in Phnom Penh. On the way back to Phnom Penh he called her, and she promised she would see him that night. He called her that night and she didn’t answer. He always remembered, that the minivan went down 51 street and he could have stopped and got out and seen her. He saw her sitting outside a bar, but he was so cross with her for going to the bar before they met that he carried on to his hotel, and by the time he called her….
He called her the next day and she picked up and sounded so sweet as normal but he was angry with her for not picking up the night before. He yelled at her. How could she do that when she knew how much he needed to see her. How could she not be there for him when she got back like she’d promised and when they’d lain together like that ?
Later that day he went to her bar to get drunk, going out of his mind in desperation to be with her again. She was there. She looked gorgeous. She looked at him. The barmaids looked at him and looked at her. He said, “oh god, not you”, and went and sat down round the corner. He thought he’d wait a minute before they made up, but seconds later she stormed out of the bar. The barmaid came over and looked at him as if to say “you fucking idiot”.
After that if she saw him she would just get up and walk off. All she said was I told you I have boyfriend already. One time he fell to his knees in the street and he begged her. He begged that girl on his knees not to finish. She said, “you don’t have to do that” and told him to sit down. Then she looked across the street took a breath and walked off.
Where does the time go ??
He knew the girl had problems with a loan shark and she was doing god knows what, and he spent the next 3 months crying every day, crying in his sleep, waking up in floods of tears. And there was nothing he could do.
On his last night of the trip he saw a girl playing pool with an old aussie guy. He thought the aussie was really disrespectful to her, and nearly went over and said something. She clearly was not enjoying the guy’s company at all and at one point the guy went up behind her and groped her boobs, but she didn’t seem to think that objecting was an option. He went back to that bar later that night and she was still there, but he went to have a leak and when he came back she was gone.
There was no sign of his ex best friend. He thinks this might be where he went to the house of his ex best friend to find out if she was OK after her best girlfriend from before said she was worried about it and suggested he went. Her boyfriend from before (not a man to cross by all accounts) was there and had moved back in with her. He didn’t speak with her and she left the men to talk (well, the men and our guy anyway haha). He chatted with the boyfriend and his friend. They seemed OK. He was happy to know that she was OK and left in floods of tears. He thinks they might have just split up again, but as always he hasn’t got a clue what’s going on, and it’s not really anything to do with him any more anyway.
He found the girl who was playing pool that last night on the trip before. She wasn’t surprised to see him. They slept together maybe 10 times. She worked in a bar (not the one she’d been playing pool in), but she’d see him whenever he wanted, and he’d just give her a bit of money each time when she left. She never asked for any and never complained. They had a good time. He also saw a young girl (19) a few times for who he was the first. Again she worked in a bar but didn’t ask for money. He saw her for the last time on this trip. She’s married now. Where does the time go ?
Came back to see the girl he’d been seeing on his last trip (the pool girl). When he got to the airport (he was flying from France) she messaged him telling him she couldn’t see him, she had a customer, he can not come to Phnom Penh. He spent an hour franticly running round the airport trying to cancel his ticket.
Over the next couple of weeks she kept on saying that she was coming to see him but would never turn up, or would turn up 2 hours late. They had 1 night together and a few hours. There were more tears in eyes and a softening of the voice in the final tuktuk.
Before he left he met a girl in a bar on A street. The first time he saw her he went up to her and said, “I want this one”. By the end of the night he’d said it maybe 20 times. They hit it off like a house on fire. He went there maybe 4 nights, but she told him she couldn’t go home with him because she was sick and she couldn’t sleep with anyone for 2 weeks. He remembered her and it nagged away it him.
The start of the final visit. He went back for the girl on A, but she was no longer working there.
He saw his ex-girlfriend a few times and they talked a little bit but only superficially. He saw the pool girl in a bar and she blanked him. He never saw her again after that.
He slept one night with a barmaid but he told her he didn’t love her and she ended it.
He met and got on well with another bar girl whose boss didn’t seem to allow her to go home with him. They met up one time when the boss was away, but after that she wouldn’t see him again. Other girls in the same bar who talked to him and flirted with him seemed to get sent home. He asked about one girl who had clearly been told to go when she was getting on very well with him a couple of night previously, and who had then came up and gave him a big hug as she trudged out, and he was told that she’d gone to Singapore !!! She never came back anyway.
On independence day he fell into the bar of the girl he had come back to see this time, and she was there. She said she’d come back to work for 1 night. They drunk for 3 hours and he left after kissing her head as she collapsed on the bar when the DJ played “you’re looking at the one” as a couple of her colleagues gestured at her repeatedly to go, and after she told him she loves nobody only herself. She gave him her number but said there’s no point. The next day he phoned her. She listened to him for a minute before saying she doesn’t know when she can see him again and then saying, “I can never see you again….I love my baby more than my life” and hung up.
He slept with a couple of girls from a bar on A street, both of whom he asserts fell in love with him. But eventually one disappeared (she came back just before he left and said hi enthusiastically but then the next time he saw her she looked at him like she’d seen a ghost) and the other stopped talking to him and said she couldn’t go with him.
All of the girls in the other bars in A street told him they can’t go with him. Someone told him “no girl can go” (with you), and they mostly all stopped talking to him, and just sat around looking a bit...sad (for him not because they couldn't see him).
He realised since he left that just before the girls on street A stopped talking to him, he saw the Australian guy who he’d first seen with the girl playing pool, talking with one of the girls he knew in the bar. And there was a third time he saw him.
He met one girl in a bar on a new street and she gave him the best kiss he’s had for 20 years. It was her he came back for the final time.
And there was one more, on street B. This beautiful girl went with him 3 or 4 times. They’d go to the music bar and then go home. It was always a good time. The last time he went to see her, as he was waiting for her to get to work (he’s only just remembered this) he saw the Australian guy (see the pool girl story and A street) go into her bar. It just looked odd. They went out as normal after she got there, but the music hadn’t started at the music bar so they went for a drink in a girlie bar, and just after they got there she went to the toilet. He didn’t think anything was wrong, but she didn’t come back for 15 minutes. And when she did, she was very quiet. They went to the music bar, they went home, they had sex. And these two were growing fond of each other. That night was going to ease a lot of pain. But as he sat outside having a smoke, she got up, showered and got dressed. “What are you doing ?” he asked. And she told him she had to go. He got down on the floor and he begged that girl to lie with him for 30 minutes. Tears in her eyes again. Tears in his eyes again. She refused, and just asked for her money. Said she had to go. When he said ‘did someone say something to you ?’ she nodded and walked out. He found her stood outside her bar looking for customers and looking like she was putting on a front. He just looked at her and turned round and walked back home. That was a very very tough night. He felt like fucking shit, he wanted to be sick, and he spent days trying to work out what had happened.
On his last night he had arranged to meet a girl he'd seen before from street A, but she didn't turn up and her phone was switched off. He called her mum and she said something about the Philippines. He was drinking with her 2 nights before and she was just going to go home with him when she got called outside, spent 30 minutes on the phone, and came back a different girl.
He came back for his birthday from Vietnam. He went to see the girl who gave him the best kiss. She….oh……she was so pleased to see him. She’d told him she was 21, but she 19 and an original (then). I can’t tell all of this story, but it wasn’t him. She was sick with a cough and sore throat. She said she’s not sick we can kiss, but then admitted she was sick. He said he’d come back in 3 days and have his birthday with her. When he went back she’d arranged to have a shot lit at the bar for her to carry over. She made a big thing about it and it was very sweet. He’d forgotten about her what with what happened right at the end, but they were VERY sweet together, in spite of the age difference, and had several nights of loved up flirting and making out. Her sister told him she’d said he was her number one, and she later called him her ex, but it never actually happened. It ended like all the other before it had got anywhere, but this time it might at least have been a bit of old fashioned (and very skilful and frankly devious) cock-blocking rather than them intervening (it's friendship and affection that he craves anyway, not sex, but the one seems to go with the others).
After she finished him, he went to street A for some solace, but nothing was doing. He asked a mamma that he got on well with why the girl he wanted wouldn’t talk to him. He asked is it because she doesn’t want to or because she’s not allowed. She said, “you know the answer”, and that she’d tried to talk to “them” but nobody would listen to her. I don’t know if she meant the girls or a higher authority.
He saw the “I want this one” girl who was now working in a different bar. They…a couple of times she just took money from him. A couple of times it was very nice. But she told him again she only loves herself, and if he wanted her he’d have to give her $1,000, and he walked out for a final time.
He saw the girl on street B again. The one he’d begged. But she just refused to talk to him or even look at him. He kissed another girl in her bar and she got up and walked off. He saw her again the next night (his last night) and again she blanked him. She was the 2nd girl he’d shown $150 and she was the 2nd girl who just got up and walked off into her bar.
He slept with 2 girls in 2 weeks. One he left a bar with at 6am and she spent the whole day pretending she can't speak English, and another was a girl he knew from before who he bumped into walking round, who then took him into some random bar saying she worked there when it turned out she didn't work there, and who only agreed to stay the night when he said if she wouldn't stay then he wouldn't fuck her.
Just before he left he met another one. Another stunna. They were so good together. On the third night drinking (he'd stayed for 3 drinks the first 2 nights) they already knew each other. But someone came over and said something to the girl, and it dropped dead as their fingers were pulled apart. A final heartbreak. The next day he just wanted to curl up and cry his eyes out. But he was leaving that day. The next 2 days were haaarrrrrddd.
But he’s ok now anyway. He’s alone, but he’s not heartbroken. But he would like it so much if it could stop because whatever it is that he has done, he has suffered enough.
Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they arent out to get you. Pynchon
- The Cool Boxing Guy
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Punchy McShortstacks School of Hard Knocks
Unless this is just written for entertainment...
In fact never have a relationship with a girl you meet in a bar or meet out after 9pm (latest).
The good ones just never do that kind of thing.
He is a Drop kick
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