Bars, clubs and pubs oh my!
You might be able to meet some expat women somewhere? Where do female expats like to hang out in Phnom Penh? Russians, Koreans, Japanese, Chinese, Italian, French, Romanian, Slovenian, Canadian, Australian, Mongolian, etc.?
Otherwise, the situation is virtually hopeless: bad girls or marriage. Actually, a friend of mine who could be a male model that I knew back in Bongcock is living in Sai Gon these days and quickly got sick of the local dating scene, so he started drinking at a girly bar and met a girl who works there but isn't a professional (yes, really. I've met her several times). So, you might be able to find something like that, a casual relationship with someone who is not a good girl but isn't just balling for cash.
Best of luck! Just wait til you're in your 50s!
The usual married guy giving out the dating advice.clutchcargo wrote: ↑Sun Oct 27, 2019 9:32 pmMy insights are largely anecdotal from my discussions with Mrs Cargo, her sisters and friend's experiences. Caveat: these insights may be generalising and there are always exceptions. Apologies if I'm repeating some of the earlier members comments.RedJohny wrote: ↑Sun Oct 27, 2019 6:19 pm Hello,
I moved to Phnom Penh two weeks ago and I struggle a bit to understand the local girls and "dating market". I lived in Bangkok for 2 years and it was quite easy to find a normal girl (for relationship or friendship) on Tinder or approach a girl on the street. But in Cambodia all of my matches on Tinder seems to be hookers or fake profiles. I can see many cute girls on the street or in the mall, but they do not seem interested in a conversation.
What is your experience and the best way to find a decent girl in Phnom Penh for a relationship (or even friendship) for a European guy in late 20's? (I am not interested in hookers or bar girls)
Thank's for any honest advise, please no trolling.
1. 'good girls' in Cambodia generally do not date in a 'western' sense aka one on one. Dating khmer style involves having the family present or as a group. No boom boom till marriage. Certainly still the case in the province albeit some city girls are becoming more free spirited and independent.
2. it is true that some khmer girls are open to a relationship with a foreigner coz khmer guy's reputation are not always the best. Many stories of marriages, the girl gets pregnant and the husband pisses off or cheats on his wife.
3. language is an issue as others have stated. Many girls are very shy to foreigners..
4. whilst some girls maybe open to a foreigner relationship they are at the same time concerned about their associated reputation ie one of coming here to have a good time and play with a girl and then dump her and go back to their home country. Traditional viewpoint.
5. many are not interested in a 'boyfriend' in a western sense. They want a husband. Again, they fear that a guy will have a girlfriend, have fun with her, get bored and then dump her. They are worried about their long term future, security and reputation.
6. they are concerned about the foreigner's longevity in Cambodia. Many are here temporarily or through circumstance return to their home country. Younger guys often find it difficult to make a decent living here and they must have a work permit to stay any decent amount of time. Older financially independent retirees don't have that issue with visas but some khmer girls are concerned about the age gap..especially as after marry, most want to have kids.
7. not all girls are necessarily open to marrying a foreigner and migrating to their husband's home country. Family ties are strong and I've found that Thais and Cambodians are lees inclined to do so than say, filipinas. Again generalising and if the girl is from a very poor family $$$ will be the key motivator.
8. quite a few of Mrs Cargo's friends have asked her: does she know any 'nice' younger barangs who are serious about a relationship/marriage and wanting a family? TBH most younger barang guys I know are here for fun and not really ready to settle down. Again, in general but you can see the conundrum..
As to suggestions:
1. one needs to demonstrate they are here for the long term and serious about their intentions.
2. learn the language if you can
3. avoid the bars and bringing hookers home to your apartment.. the the tom tom drums will soon let any prospective 'good girls' know. Reputation is everything here imo.
4. look for opportunities via your work and establish a good rapport with the local community where you live and I reckon opportunities will easily come your way..
Get a bad girl, way way more fun than some spoilt, jumped up 'good girl'. Its Cambodia, hit a bar & dive into a relationship with a beauty, simple, stress full fun.
Actually no. I only affectionately refer to my partner as 'Mrs Cargo'
Take the insights and suggestions FWIW but Mrs Cargo has many what I would consider 'good girl' friends and we have had many many discussions around this issue and I thought I would share.. ignore at will if need be..
I have spent most of my time in smaller towns, not Phnom Penh. It is probably easier to meet girls in smaller places, than in Phnom Penh. I have met some girls in Phnom Penh.
I speak Khmer, but I have a lot of female friends who speak English. If you don't speak Khmer, you could meet the same girls, not know they speak English, and not talk to them.
Girls are all different individuals. They don't all think the same.
Some girls will not want to spend time with you, because of what other people might say.
Some girls will be your friends, but only in a place where they have some of their family or friends around. You can go to visit many girls at their homes, and they and their families will be happy to see you.
Some girls will act shy and uninterested, but be glad you came.
Some girls may go to a place like a restaurant with you, but bring a friend or friends with them.
Some girls will go to a restaurant with you alone.
Whatever you do, Cambodians will talk about you. If you do anything bad, they will tell everyone. If you are good to them, their friends will like you too.
99% of Cambodian girls will not chase males, but wait for the males to be interested in them. Many of my friends are just friends, and don't even think about romance with me. It depends on the situation, and how you met them, but when you are friendly with girls, the idea of romance may cross the minds of some of them. In the mind of Cambodian girls, romance leads to marriage.
If you are a good person, the parents of Cambodian most girls would be happy if you wanted to marry their daughter. Partly because you are a good person, and partly because most foreigners have more money than any Cambodians that may be interested in their daughter. So they will be happy if you are friends with their daughter.
I have spent time in a number of different towns, and have female friends in each place. But one way I met a lot quickly was doing volunteer English teaching with university students. Any time I see any of them, they are my friends.
There are no set rules as to how to meet them. But it is easy.
For example: Recently, I was walking around Phnom Penh. It was hot, and I wanted a rest, so I sat under a tree. There were other people there. After some time I started talking to a girl. The person she worked with had gone to the village, so there was no work that day. It was too boring at home, so she went down town. She was glad to meet me, and talk to me. She had trained as a hairdresser, and now worked in a busy hairdressers shop. In the future, she wanted to go back to her home town, and open her own shop.
Maybe, walk along the riverside, when you see nice looking girls, ask them if they speak English. Take it from there. It will be even easier if you go to a smaller town.
If you ask a Cambodian girl for her Facebook account, or phone number, they will almost always give it to you.
I have had girls come up to me and ask if they can talk to me. Some have become good friends. Some girls are really happy to be friends with foreigners.
They always fuck on the first date.
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