Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

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Cowshed Cowboy
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by Cowshed Cowboy »

The descent of this thread reminds me of K440, it could have just stopped when they had been found okay but some have taken it as an opportunity at character assassination.

I hope this isn't the way this forum is slowly heading.
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MarlaMitelman
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by MarlaMitelman »

I’m not here to be judged, nor is my sister or her daughter fair fodder in your court of public opinion. I would appreciated if those of you being nasty, kept your comments to yourselves, you’re only showing yourself up as unfair and unkind.

I hope that none you are ever in a situation where you have to post on forums to find a family member. This is not a fun activity I can assure you.

Thank you to those who genuinely helped here.
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IraHayes
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by IraHayes »

MarlaMitelman wrote: Sat Sep 26, 2020 10:03 am I’m not here to be judged, nor is my sister or her daughter fair fodder in your court of public opinion. I would appreciated if those of you being nasty, kept your comments to yourselves, you’re only showing yourself up as unfair and unkind.

I hope that none you are ever in a situation where you have to post on forums to find a family member. This is not a fun activity I can assure you.

Thank you to those who genuinely helped here.
Family loyalties can be hard on a person. While you are posting in defence of your sister and her daughter I hope you have woken up to the fact that maybe, just maybe, they've been playing on your good nature and (in private) you come to terms with that and re-evaluate any help you decide to send their way in the future.

But, I agree with you about posting family affairs on public forums... washing ones laundry in public is never easy and once your initial fears for their safety had been allayed they came under scrutiny for not helping themselves more. I think most posters feel some sympathy for you and the situation you are in and maybe they would have done something different but such is life. They are your family and they will always be your family long after any memory of them has gone from this forum.

So good luck and my advice would be to just let this thread drift into obscurity while you do what you think is best for your family.
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MarlaMitelman
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by MarlaMitelman »

Good advice, which I will take.
Khmu Nation
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by Khmu Nation »

I think the point being made, albeit repetitively and increasingly vitriolically, is that by funding thier jolly you are enabling them to vanish for a few weeks.

The fact they couldn't be bothered to let you, their close relative and financial backer, know where they are highlights their total lack of respect for you as well as thier own hippie level heights of self indulgence and self righteousness.

The daughter can be perhaps excused on the basis of her youth. The mum on the other hand....she really needs to grow up and by funding her lifestyle you are keeping her trapped in adolescence.

As independence and culpability are key parts of happiness and healthy adult self esteem you really aren't doing her any favors at all.

You might well think you are being kind or you are fulfilling some honorable sibling responsibility but, without realizing it, you are actually unintentionally preventing her from reaching emotional maturity - which is where true happiness in the form of gentle contentment and quiet satisfaction resides.

If you cut off the cash supply you might just empower her to grow up and as she does the flaky hippie beliefs will fall by the way side. She's miserable and lost inside; almost all spiritually inclined middle aged chakra bores are

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

You should learn from this and subsequently teach your sister a lesson too. Sure, pay for her flight back home. Then the funding stops. If they refuse to return home the funding still stops.

They will soon learn that se Asia isn't some spiritual earthly nirvana of elephants, palm trees, marijuana and meditation retreats.

It's tough out here.

All the same I am pleased you managed to locate them reasonably quickly and found them safe and in good health.

All the best with the future.
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by daeum_tnaot »

MarlaMitelman wrote: Fri Sep 25, 2020 10:39 am I’m going to ignore the personal comments made about my niece as they add nothing to this discussion.

Thanks for your help everyone. It’s a very difficult and complicated situation that’s been ongoing for many years. This is just the most recent episode.

One final question for this group, is it possible for travellers to get cash in hand work whilst they’re there or is it near impossible? I’m being told the latter repeatedly, but keen for a different perspective.
Not sure I get what the claim is here. Of course, if people work here, they normally get paid in cash or in a bank account that is easy to set up if they are employed.

That is IF they can find a job.

Anyone that would work on the basis of payment at some unspecified date in the future, in this country, would have to be quite foolish.
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John Bingham
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by John Bingham »

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angkorjohn2
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by angkorjohn2 »

MarlaMitelman wrote: Fri Sep 25, 2020 10:39 am I’m going to ignore the personal comments made about my niece as they add nothing to this discussion.

Thanks for your help everyone. It’s a very difficult and complicated situation that’s been ongoing for many years. This is just the most recent episode.

One final question for this group, is it possible for travellers to get cash in hand work whilst they’re there or is it near impossible? I’m being told the latter repeatedly, but keen for a different perspective.
As others have said it is difficult. Traditionally in places like Siem Reap and the coast a westerner could easily have got some work in a bar or hotel for $10-$20 per day plus some meals and/or accommodation as many owners thought a western face helped with bringing in and helping tourists. The problem now is there are no tourists or tourist visa's issued (as mentioned elsewhere let us hope their visas are up to date as you are looking at $10 per person per day in overstay fines) so nobody will offer them work unless they have some really useful skills in the Job market and even then they are competing against a bunch of other out of work western folk e.g. teachers who know the lay of the land and market so much better. SO in other words it is unfortunately bleak.

I am not here to judge, I truly feel for your dilemma and I indeed would no doubt try to help my family in similar situations, however my gut tells me they are manipulating you and hoping your lack of direct knowledge of Cambodia means they can use this to leverage more help than they really need. This isn't the country often potrayed as something it was 10-20 years ago and it is easy and safe for them to get to the main airports to leave the country- they can even fly from Siem Reap to Phnom penh now. Of course it is sunny and cheap and why wouldn't they want to stay instead of heading to a western winter, but it seems they have done little to help their situation or come up with a viable plan of action to get out of the situation they have found themselves in. Some tough conversations and an ultimatum seem to rapidly being your main option to avoid having your goodwill abused any more.

good luck with it all, you're clearly a great person with a kind heart, don't let anyone abuse those traits.
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Matty9999
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by Matty9999 »

Alive now... just not looking so good of late.
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PSD-Kiwi
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Re: Worried about 2 British travellers in Cambodia - advice needed

Post by PSD-Kiwi »

Apparently wanted by police in Siem Reap now...


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