SERIOUS QUESTION

Ask us anything. Cambodia Expat's Online has a huge community of long term expats that can answer any question you may have about life in Cambodia. Have some questions you want to ask before you move to Cambodia? Ask them here. Our community can also answer any questions you have about how to find a job or what kind of work is available for expats in Cambodia, whether you're looking for info about Phnom Penh, Siem Reap or anywhere else in the Kingdom. Don't be shy, ask CEO's members anything!
Samouth
Expatriate
Posts: 3679
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2014 8:25 am
Reputation: 13
Location: Phnom Penh
Burundi

Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by Samouth » Mon Jun 01, 2015 4:46 pm

Jamie_Lambo wrote:i dont have kids, girlfriend, wife, house, a lot of money etc..
i do have a good successful job (when i actually work)
i was successful in kickboxing/boxing
ive traveled to 21 countries and lived in cambodia for most of the past 2.5 years
i believe ive lived a very successful life, life is there to be lived, its not the amount of years in your life but the life in your years that count
ive done more things by the age of 28 than most do in a life time,
although i am getting to the age where i want to feel a little more settled
Actually i also don't have all of those things too, no kid, girlfriend, wife, house or money. I don't have any problem in daily life as i have job and enough salary to support myself, however i just want to get a bit more for life.

I don't think my job is bad, but i just feel like i have been doing in the same position for too long, i should do something different. Wow Jamie, i have to behave well with you. :)

Travelling is what i will have to do before i get married. So far, i have only been to Vietnam. This was the only foreign country i have visited.
បើសិនធ្វើចេះ ចេះឲ្យគេកោត បើសិនធ្វើឆោត ឆោតឲ្យគេអាណិត។

If you know a lot, know enough to make them respect you, if you are stupid, be stupid enough so they can pity you.
bvanfossen
Expatriate
Posts: 373
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 12:40 am
Reputation: 48
Location: Phnom Penh, Cambodia
United States of America

Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by bvanfossen » Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:57 pm

Human nature, we are never content. The millionaire that owns everything is still not content and doesn't feel as if they have it all.
User avatar
clutchcargo
Expatriate
Posts: 2556
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2018 3:09 pm
Reputation: 1094
Cambodia

Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by clutchcargo » Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:50 am

Rama wrote:
Sat May 30, 2015 1:11 am
Sounds like you've been successful by your own criteria and through your own hard work GrinchSR. Well done.

My advice for Samouth, for what it's worth would be to set goals. You need to know what you want to achieve and then you can measure your own personal success by how successful you've been in achieving them...also it's a long lonely life, and you just keep on trying to achieve your goals and never giving up. Heck, you might not achieve them but you'll get close to them if you believe in yourself.

I'm not American, but I sincerely believe goals are vitality important and useful.

"If you want to live a happy life tie it to goals, not people or things"

They give you a sense of purpose and also you'll make your own luck whilst you pursue them that will help you along.

"The purpose of life, is a life of purpose."
Yes, seems to me Americans/westerners are very much goal orientated. I guess it's fine to have goals and purpose in life.

However, it is also problematic and a cause of a lot of unhappiness. Once you start to constantly strive towards goals, your focus shifts from the present to the future and your happiness starts to be measured/based on how well you are going in achieving them. Then you lose sight of the enjoyable things you do in the present day.

There's a lot of unhappiness in the western world including stress, anxiety and depression. What is the cause of anxiety? Unrealised expectations. When you don't get what you want (as opposed to what you need), don't achieve your plans, you try to keep up with the Jones's etc And expectations are tied to plans and goals.

One thing I have found too in life is that often the best laid plans are dashed as life tends to throw curved balls/unexpected events at you..so you find yourself having to readjust your expectations.

The other thing is.. what if you don't know what you want out of life? What makes you happy? What you regard as successful? When I was in high school some of my friends knew they wanted to be an engineer, architect whatever and went on to do that.. Many others including myself had no idea. When you are young I think it's a case of self discovery and finding oneself. Maybe try many pursuits, hobbies, experiences etc and see what you are drawn to/good at/enjoy and just go with the flow. Let your heart rather than your head draw you..

Another poster mentioned don't forget to enjoy the journey...I think this is the best advice...if you are too focused on your goals and achieving them, there is the risk of not enjoying the journey.
User avatar
Jamie_Lambo
The Cool Boxing Guy
Posts: 13741
Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 10:34 am
Reputation: 1936
Location: Naklua
Contact:
Great Britain

Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by Jamie_Lambo » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:42 pm

clutchcargo wrote:
Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:50 am
Rama wrote:
Sat May 30, 2015 1:11 am
Sounds like you've been successful by your own criteria and through your own hard work GrinchSR. Well done.

My advice for Samouth, for what it's worth would be to set goals. You need to know what you want to achieve and then you can measure your own personal success by how successful you've been in achieving them...also it's a long lonely life, and you just keep on trying to achieve your goals and never giving up. Heck, you might not achieve them but you'll get close to them if you believe in yourself.

I'm not American, but I sincerely believe goals are vitality important and useful.

"If you want to live a happy life tie it to goals, not people or things"

They give you a sense of purpose and also you'll make your own luck whilst you pursue them that will help you along.

"The purpose of life, is a life of purpose."
Yes, seems to me Americans/westerners are very much goal orientated. I guess it's fine to have goals and purpose in life.

However, it is also problematic and a cause of a lot of unhappiness. Once you start to constantly strive towards goals, your focus shifts from the present to the future and your happiness starts to be measured/based on how well you are going in achieving them. Then you lose sight of the enjoyable things you do in the present day.

There's a lot of unhappiness in the western world including stress, anxiety and depression. What is the cause of anxiety? Unrealised expectations. When you don't get what you want (as opposed to what you need), don't achieve your plans, you try to keep up with the Jones's etc And expectations are tied to plans and goals.

One thing I have found too in life is that often the best laid plans are dashed as life tends to throw curved balls/unexpected events at you..so you find yourself having to readjust your expectations.

The other thing is.. what if you don't know what you want out of life? What makes you happy? What you regard as successful? When I was in high school some of my friends knew they wanted to be an engineer, architect whatever and went on to do that.. Many others including myself had no idea. When you are young I think it's a case of self discovery and finding oneself. Maybe try many pursuits, hobbies, experiences etc and see what you are drawn to/good at/enjoy and just go with the flow. Let your heart rather than your head draw you..

Another poster mentioned don't forget to enjoy the journey...I think this is the best advice...if you are too focused on your goals and achieving them, there is the risk of not enjoying the journey.
yeah good post
:tophat: Mean Dtuk Mean Trei, Mean Loy Mean Srey
Punchy McShortstacks School of Hard Knocks :x
Kay Kay
Tourist
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2019 2:21 pm
Reputation: 12
Cambodia

Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by Kay Kay » Thu Feb 28, 2019 9:56 am

Samouth wrote:
Tue May 26, 2015 11:59 pm
How do you all define a successful life?

I actually don't know if i am too young to think about this. I just recently feel like i am so confusing and find myself in the middle of no where. I don't know what to do and plan for the future. It seems like i am stuck in one place, no moving. Looking to my classmates, most of them are so successful in their works and lives. Some of them got married and already have one or two kids and they also have car and house while i have nothing. :(
Hmm....Success in life means differently from one person to another. You said that they are successful in their work and lives; how do you exactly know that? You will not know what's going on in their mind, bro. Here are some of my tips, bro.
- Do what your heart tells you to do.
- Do not compare yourself with the others; you live your own life and they live theirs.
- Do not think too much about your future. It takes time for that. You can make a draft and write down what you want to do. Don't worry about this; you surely can put it aside and come back and edit it as much as you love to.
- Remember that things you want to do today can become things that you don't want to do in the future. So face it. Do the new things you want to do. It's no right or wrong for that. Don't blame on yourself that you cannot get fixed with that.
- You have something! Don't say that you have nothing! If you have nothing, you can't present yourself here, bro. I think you are trying to compare yourself with those who have more money than you. Bro, focus on yourself. If you need that money, you need to earn. To get that money, you cannot just feel down without doing anything. Do something (learn, work, run a small business...etc)
- You're lucky that you can use English! Appreciate that for yourself, bro, while most of our Cambodian business people don't know English!
- Try to understand yourself, not to look at other people.
Hope this helps.
pczz
Expatriate
Posts: 2101
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 1:00 pm
Reputation: 370
Location: phnom penh
Great Britain

Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by pczz » Thu Feb 28, 2019 10:23 am

You should live your life for yourself, not your classmates.
If you want to copy them to impress them that would be a waste of your life.
If you want to copy them for you, then make plans to achieve your goal. meet more people, find a mate and settle down.
Maybe you have not got these things because they are not really impportant enough for you to put the effort in, so find what is important.
It took me a while to realise i was chasing other people's dreams. Now i chase my own and I dont't care what they thingk
User avatar
Artisan
Expatriate
Posts: 184
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2018 3:02 pm
Reputation: 41
Belgium

Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by Artisan » Thu Feb 28, 2019 1:52 pm

Delete your FB account.
pebbles&nightsky
Kevin168
Expatriate
Posts: 37
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2018 2:47 am
Reputation: 12
Contact:
United States of America

Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by Kevin168 » Thu Feb 28, 2019 2:42 pm

Don't compare your life with other... just work hard and prepare for yourself!

The real question is are you ready when your chance is here?
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post