Marrying into a Cambodian family

hayleyskye.hayz · Post by **hayleyskye.hayz** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:18 pm

So I've just married a Cambodian man and I don't really know his family. I really want to build a relationship with his mum how do I go about this? Any do's or don'ts any advice appreciated.

PSD-Kiwi · Post by **PSD-Kiwi** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:24 pm

Do you live in Cambodia and are you familiar with Khmer culture? Or did you meet your Cambodian partner overseas and haven't actually spent time here?

It very rare for a couple in Cambodia to marry without getting to know the families first.

I think this will be an interesting topic as long as posters behave themselves, stay on topic and provide constructive comments.

hayleyskye.hayz · Post by **hayleyskye.hayz** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:27 pm

No we live in NZ. As do his family. I'm not super familiar with their culture though I love to read so have been finding out what I can online.

Khartoum · Post by **Khartoum** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:46 pm

So his family are slightly westernized, I'm presuming. This really shouldn't be too difficult for you, I would have thought.

hayleyskye.hayz · Post by **hayleyskye.hayz** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:09 pm

He is,however they're not so much

hanno · Post by **hanno** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:21 pm

I think few people here will have any knowledge about that as usually, when marrying a Khmer over here, you would have met the parents beforehand.

I think you should discuss this with your husband; he can probably offer better advice then most people here when it comes to dealing with Khmer in-laws.

PSD-Kiwi · Post by **PSD-Kiwi** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:27 pm

Chur! Is there a decent sized Cambodian community in NZ do you know...I know that most of the winners in NZs annual pie competitions are usually Cambodian, but i can't say I ever remember meeting any Cambodians in NZ.

Since the mother as you say isn't very "Westernised", Then she is probably very conservative and traditional in the sense that wives should behave like wives ie. do everything to please and look after their husbands (cooking, cleaning, etc.). That doesn't mean you need to be like that to please her, but something you should be aware of.

hayleyskye.hayz · Post by **hayleyskye.hayz** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:31 pm

I have meet his parents just not spent a huge amount of time with them. Yeah there is quite a large Cambodian community here. Well I always cook for him and make his lunch for work maybe I should tell him to let her know that lol. I guess anyone wants to win over their in laws regardless just thought maybe there were certain customs cultures etc that I should be more aware of.

PSD-Kiwi · Post by **PSD-Kiwi** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:44 pm

Cambodian culture I've found fairly similar to traditional Maori culture in certain regards, such as the immense respect for elders, women being submissive (not sure that's the right word to use, but I hope you get what I mean?) to men, etc.

I'd suggest just spending time with your MIL, basically just getting to know her, helping her out with cooking, cleaning, shopping whatever... Learn a few words of greeting in Khmer and how to sompeah in order to really impress her.

Ronny · Post by **Ronny** » Wed Aug 16, 2017 4:44 pm

hayleyskye.hayz wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:18 pm So I've just married a Cambodian man and I don't really know his family. I really want to build a relationship with his mum how do I go about this? Any do's or don'ts any advice appreciated.

I don't want to crash the party, but SE Asian men aren't really high on the list reputation wise when it comes to being good, faithful husbands. After all, there's a reason why so many SE Asian women prefer barang/farang men to their own men. I just hope things don't end in disaster for you. But if or when the day comes when you find yourself almost broke and having to support this guy almost exclusively (meaning that you're supporting him while he doesn't work at all) then that will be your wake up call to get that ticket and get the hell away from him.

Marrying into a Cambodian family

Marrying into a Cambodian family

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