Wow! That's quite a deviation from the question I asked l. Would have been helpful if perhaps my question was do you think my husband is going to be faithful. I've actually been friends with him for over 20 years so whether he is committed or a hard worker is not of a concern to me. I was just looking for advice re his mum

Ronny wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 4:44 pm

hayleyskye.hayz wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:18 pm So I've just married a Cambodian man and I don't really know his family. I really want to build a relationship with his mum how do I go about this? Any do's or don'ts any advice appreciated.

I don't want to crash the party, but SE Asian men aren't really high on the list reputation wise when it comes to being good, faithful husbands. After all, there's a reason why so many SE Asian women prefer barang/farang men to their own men. I just hope things don't end in disaster for you. But if or when the day comes when you find yourself almost broke and having to support this guy almost exclusively (meaning that you're supporting him while he doesn't work at all) then that will be your wake up call to get that ticket and get the hell away from him.

She is not living in his country, he is living in hers. Why are you also perceiving all Asians to be the same as the common bar girl.

AndyKK wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 5:13 pm

Ronny wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 4:44 pm

hayleyskye.hayz wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:18 pm So I've just married a Cambodian man and I don't really know his family. I really want to build a relationship with his mum how do I go about this? Any do's or don'ts any advice appreciated.

I don't want to crash the party, but SE Asian men aren't really high on the list reputation wise when it comes to being good, faithful husbands. After all, there's a reason why so many SE Asian women prefer barang/farang men to their own men. I just hope things don't end in disaster for you. But if or when the day comes when you find yourself almost broke and having to support this guy almost exclusively (meaning that you're supporting him while he doesn't work at all) then that will be your wake up call to get that ticket and get the hell away from him.

She is not living in his country, he is living in hers. Why are you also perceiving all Asians to be the same as the common bar girl.

Comparing some Cambodian guy to a bar girl never really crossed my mind, to be perfectly honest. Heck, I didn't even know that was possible. But anyhow, I don't want to come across as brash or bigoted but I have heard many a horror story (and seen some first-hand myself) when it comes to barang/farang women marrying a SE Asian guy. But you know, maybe the SE Asian-bar girl comparison is legit as even the SE Asian men tend to view barang/farang women as an easy meal ticket to a better life. And then there are the stories of the physical abuse that occurs when the men get drunk and the initial love they (might) have had at the beginning of the marriage begins to wear thin. Of course there are exceptions but when you hear story after story after story about Western women leaving such marriages financially and emotionally broke you do feel the strong urge to at least give some sort of warning or caution to any Western woman who is entertaining the idea of such a marriage.

AndyKK wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 5:13 pm

Ronny wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 4:44 pm

hayleyskye.hayz wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:18 pm So I've just married a Cambodian man and I don't really know his family. I really want to build a relationship with his mum how do I go about this? Any do's or don'ts any advice appreciated.

I don't want to crash the party, but SE Asian men aren't really high on the list reputation wise when it comes to being good, faithful husbands. After all, there's a reason why so many SE Asian women prefer barang/farang men to their own men. I just hope things don't end in disaster for you. But if or when the day comes when you find yourself almost broke and having to support this guy almost exclusively (meaning that you're supporting him while he doesn't work at all) then that will be your wake up call to get that ticket and get the hell away from him.

She is not living in his country, he is living in hers. Why are you also perceiving all Asians to be the same as the common bar girl.

As per the woman marrying this Khmer guy in new Zealand and not Cambodia, I concede that it might make a difference. But if the parents are old-fashioned and play a large role in their son's life, that in and of itself could prove to be a major headache to this young woman. I just hope she knows what she's getting into.

AndyKK wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 5:13 pm

Ronny wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 4:44 pm

hayleyskye.hayz wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:18 pm So I've just married a Cambodian man and I don't really know his family. I really want to build a relationship with his mum how do I go about this? Any do's or don'ts any advice appreciated.

I don't want to crash the party, but SE Asian men aren't really high on the list reputation wise when it comes to being good, faithful husbands. After all, there's a reason why so many SE Asian women prefer barang/farang men to their own men. I just hope things don't end in disaster for you. But if or when the day comes when you find yourself almost broke and having to support this guy almost exclusively (meaning that you're supporting him while he doesn't work at all) then that will be your wake up call to get that ticket and get the hell away from him.

She is not living in his country, he is living in hers. Why are you also perceiving all Asians to be the same as the common bar girl.

I don't think it really matters where they live as cultural barriers often become a serious problem. I knew this American girl that met a Vietnamese guy in college and ended up marrying him. He was born in Vietnam but basically grew up in the States. Anyways, I knew them throughout the courtship before marriage and the guy seemed to be cool and all and they seemed to be happy altho even then I though the girl was a bit naive but I didn't say anything to her. So yeah, they got married but after about 3 years everything changed. All of the sudden nothing she did was up to par to his ideals of what a "good" woman should be like. All of the sudden she couldn't cook, suddenly became stupid, and suddenly couldn't do anything to make this guy happy so he started boozing really heavily and ending up beating the shit out of her a few times. The marriage lasted about 4 years.

hayleyskye.hayz wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 5:00 pm Wow! That's quite a deviation from the question I asked l. Would have been helpful if perhaps my question was do you think my husband is going to be faithful. I've actually been friends with him for over 20 years so whether he is committed or a hard worker is not of a concern to me. I was just looking for advice re his mum

Ok, then everything seems to be cool. We've never met so maybe I went a little out of bounds but I'm just trying to caution you JUST IN CASE so no harm done. But as for your mom-in-law, well, where to begin? In-laws are in-laws so I personally have found that it better serves me to keep my distance although I am cordial when we do meet. Just remember that no matter what, your mom in-law will always be looking after her son no matter what but yeah, if you can learn to speak some basic Khmer and learn to cook some Khmer dishes and reach out to her then that would really put you in good standing with her.

PSD-Kiwi wrote: ↑Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:27 pm I know that most of the winners in NZs annual pie competitions are usually Cambodian

hahahahaha
i thought Nz made the best Pies? but you cant even beat a foreigner in a Pie making competition

I'd just take them out and show them some of your own culture, personally. Don't touch anyone's head? I dunno, Khmer culture isn't terribly strict. When I see my wife's family I just sit there and drink beer and eat food, and of course gossip. They love a bit of gossiping.