Ex daughters wedding

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John Bingham
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by John Bingham » Sat Jan 11, 2020 9:03 pm

What's the big deal? It sounds like some of the family still like you. Weddings are boring but all you have to do is turn up with a few dollars in the envelope and then enjoy the food and drink and dancing. It's not like they are about to kidnap you and torture you for your PIN. Chill out and enjoy yourself.
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phuketrichard
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by phuketrichard » Sat Jan 11, 2020 9:40 pm

IraHayes wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:48 pm
phuketrichard wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:02 pm
fax wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 7:04 pm
If you turn up you are giving her false hope by signaling that you are interested in being in her life. You are not so don’t act like you are. Don’t go, better yet block them to prevent further contact.
WTF>>>
why not be involved in ur daughters life,? just cause you an the ex fell out is no reason to abandon ur kid you raised for years.
:please:

some people on here i am amazed at how they think
Nd their level of reading comprehension amazes me too..

Let’s see.
1. It’s not his daughter. He met the mother when the daughter was 11
2. The spilt was absolute with no further contact by either side for a year.
3. Faxs’ point was that the OP has no intention of being a part of the girls life in the future so why give her the impression he cared.

Richards reply reads like the OP abandoned the mother of “his” child which is clearly not the case. No info has been provided on the closeness of the step daughter relationship but I am guessing it wasn’t that close and would certainly have been soured by the scorned ex wife. It’s women’s only recourse in a confrontation. Men sort it out with physical violence while women up use malicious gossip and character assassination to achieve their goals. So yeah, what relationship the op had with the girl is now dust.
I understand its not HIS child but he was part of her life for 6-7 years. The most formative years of her life.
Surely he must have some feelings towards the girl, even if he an the ex are bitter enemies.

Its only a wedding and him being their might mean alot to the daughter

than again, maybe i am completely bonkers and the daughter hates him for leaving.
we will never know
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
Mishmash
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by Mishmash » Sat Jan 11, 2020 9:58 pm

Anchor Moy wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 7:58 pm
Lol. Comments are raining down from the truly happily married posters here. :OD:
A lot of us are happily married :beer3:

The OP wife put his face in the dirt and then has the gall....

It's a no-brainer.

The prospective groom has not even come to see him, or any attempt at a face saver from what he has told us.

I would only go with two vastly prettier younger women than the ex as my escort.
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fax
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by fax » Sat Jan 11, 2020 10:01 pm

phuketrichard wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 9:40 pm
we will never know
The girl was 17 when he broke up with the mother. If she cared so much a 17 year old is old enough to stay in contact and make it obvious.

On the contrary, the mother probably never told the rest of the family about the breakup one year ago and now doesn’t want to lose face at the wedding.

You’ve lived too long in Thailand to throw your hands in the air and say that we will never know. This is face culture 101.
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Yerg
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by Yerg » Sat Jan 11, 2020 10:23 pm

My point remains. Who is asking OP to attend the wedding? Ex or ex-step-daughter? If the relationship with step-daughter was maintained, then up to the OP. If it is the ex that is pursuing, then I would give it a very wide berth.
Mishmash
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by Mishmash » Sat Jan 11, 2020 11:12 pm

Yerg wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 10:23 pm
My point remains. Who is asking OP to attend the wedding? Ex or ex-step-daughter? If the relationship with step-daughter was maintained, then up to the OP. If it is the ex that is pursuing, then I would give it a very wide berth.
From the OP "messages your daughters getting married this date they want their father at the wedding" - not "Im getting married"

That's why most are siding with keep clear...
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brisie
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by brisie » Sun Jan 12, 2020 6:28 am

The kids hated speaking English refused to learn. Talking face to face was OK but a phone call was short and easily misunderstood
What gutted me is the EX told her town I'm no good. Based on that I'll look like an idiot turning up.
Other than money being the motivator like the mother losing face somehow in Khmer culture is what I'm asking
BR549
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by BR549 » Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:11 am

Stop worrying about the mother losing face.
She ruined your good name among her townfolk.
Think about YOUR FACE..
Don't go there under any circumstances.
Full wallet.. Empty wallet...gift...
Don't feel one iota of guilt.
She is playing you.
What face is she saving if you show up?
Don't listen to these people advising you to go.

My wife gets asked to weddings and house warmings by people she grew up with in Kapong Cham all the time. Cousins, nieces, friends. etc.
She was very poor and motherless as a kid.
She goes and gets hurt when people don't talk to her.
I begged her to stop going and setting herself up to be hurt by the same people that treated her like shit when she was a kid.
I give you the same advice Sir.
Don't Go!
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Sweet Lemon
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by Sweet Lemon » Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:16 am

fax wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:41 pm

It’s not his daughter. It is his ex girlfriend’s daughter from an earlier relationship with somebody else, alas his ex stepdaughter at most. The girl was 11 when he started dating her mother.

Of course he should be involved in his kid’s life. This is not his kid.

I have learned from this website and TOF that it is customary when an expat male begins dating a local woman that within two weeks he will refer to her as his "missus" and refer to her children as "my kids."
Last edited by Sweet Lemon on Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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atst
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Re: Ex daughters wedding

Post by atst » Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:29 am

Thanks everyone reading this has made my morning
CEO can be funny sometimes
I'm standing up, so I must be straight
What's a poor man do when the blues keep following him around.
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