WWE Staff Forced To Shoot Aggressive Wrestler After Child Climbs Into Steel Cage

INDIANAPOLIS—Saying they were left with no other choice given the imminent peril of the situation, World Wrestling Entertainment officials confirmed they were forced to kill one of their own stars Friday when a 7-year-old boy wandered into the steel cage enclosure of an aggressive wrestler.

Beloved two-time WWE champion Big Show was reportedly shot dead after the emergency response team at the Indiana Farmers Coliseum made a split-second decision to take out the nearly 400-pound dominant male wrestler, who is said to have appeared aggravated and hostile, causing those present to fear for the small child’s safety.

“Last night, after determining he posed a clear threat to a young boy who had entered the steel cage, we chose to end the life of one of our wrestlers,” said WWE spokesperson Chris Bellitti, who added that the security guards who opened fire had followed protocol, assessing the body language and vocalizations of the 45-year-old wrestler to evaluate the danger he presented. “It is a tragedy anytime something like this happens, but luckily we can say a child is alive today thanks to the swift and appropriate measures taken by our WWE staff.”

“While lethal force is always a last resort, the reality is that we were dealing with a very large adult—one of our strongest males,” Bellitti continued. “A tranquilizer could have taken five, even 10, minutes to bring down a wrestler that size, and it likely would have made him even angrier in the meantime. We simply couldn’t risk waiting any longer to act.”

Though a popular attraction for WWE since his arrival in 1999, the 7-foot, 383-pound Big Show reportedly angered easily and had a history of violent outbursts, often acting belligerently toward other wrestlers to intimidate them and, at times, even confronting officials who entered the ring with him. The wrestler is known to have exhibited erratic behavior on numerous occasions, including several altercations in which individuals required medical attention.

Is this a joke? I actually meet the Big Show in Atlanta at a restaurant some time around 2002 and he seemed so mellow and laid back. You can't be serious.

Le Onion

there is no way a bullet could defeat the big show! im calling bullshit

Ah, you see, normally you'd be right, but this was a Khmer bullet ricochet, and there were trees nearby.

yeah but the chances of that actually happening are so slim, like the odds would be rediculous, like at least 17/1