What Did We Get Stuck in Our Rectums Last Year?
America continues to lead—and to innovate.
by Barry Petchesky
Dec 25 2019, 10:30pm
We Americans as a people are extremely good at shoving things inside ourselves. We are slightly less good at getting them back out without the aid of trained medical personnel.
For a decade I've been chronicling our country's cavity misadventures, and I've learned several things. First is that it's dangerous to be horny. (The sheer number of sex toys removed in emergency rooms is too high to include on this list, for the most part.) Second is that men are far, far stupider than women when it comes to estimating what will fit and what will be retrievable. This is obvious, but it's nice to have the data to back it up. Third is that the human body is a wondrous thing, but the human imagination is even stronger.
All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, and all descriptions are verbatim.
“PATIENT STATES HE STATES SLIPPED IN THE SHOWER AND LANDED ON A METAL AIR FRESHENER CAN AND IT WENT INTO RECTUM”
PLASTIC TOY, “ABOUT 6 INCHES LONG”
TWO RAZOR BLADES
TWO SMALL VIBRATORS
COAT HANGER, “PATIENT UNSURE HOW IT GOT THERE”
GARDEN HOSE CAP
TOY HOCKEY STICK
BAG OF HEROIN
SMALL SHAMPOO BOTTLE
LARGE SHAMPOO BOTTLE
APPLE SAUCE CAN
“ACCIDENTALLY GOT A DILDO LODGED IN RECTUM & CUT THE END OF THE DILDO OFF”
“STUCK A 4 INCH BUTT PLUG UP RECTUM YESTERDAY, HANDLE BROKE. HE CONTINUED TO PUSH THE TOY IN”
“WAS USING PROSTATE MASSAGER & IT GOT 'SUCKED IN'”'
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/v74m ... -last-year
My vote - A special mention for the can of air freshener, (stinky bum syndrome ? ) and a close second for the coat-hanger.
Bag of heroin was no surprise on that list sadly imo
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