Oh, You Internet.
- General Mackevili
- The General
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Re: Oh, You Internet.
"Calm down, I'm the Prime Minister."
Spoiler:
"Life is too important to take seriously."
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
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"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
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- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13928
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 5997
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Breast Implants For Your Tattoo?!
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13928
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 5997
- General Mackevili
- The General
- Posts: 18418
- Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 5:24 pm
- Reputation: 3407
- Location: The Kingdom
- Contact:
Re: Oh, You Internet.
"Life is too important to take seriously."
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
Have a story or an anonymous news tip for CEO? Need advertising? CONTACT ME
Cambodia Expats Online is the most popular community in the country. JOIN TODAY
Follow CEO on social media:
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
Google+
Instagram
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
Have a story or an anonymous news tip for CEO? Need advertising? CONTACT ME
Cambodia Expats Online is the most popular community in the country. JOIN TODAY
Follow CEO on social media:
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Re: Oh, You Internet.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13928
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 5997
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.
Nothing.
Just had my water bill of $475. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just $10 a month: time to change supplier I think.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt ..
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots....Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.
IT’S A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT’S A BOY"
And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!!!
Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!
In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead.
Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth
An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan ! He is making land Mines that look like prayer mats! It’s doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!!
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, f--k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees.
Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?'
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad says, 'So what were you watching?'
Billy says, ' Wimbledon .'
Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!'
An elderly couple are attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.
Nothing.
Just had my water bill of $475. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just $10 a month: time to change supplier I think.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt ..
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots....Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.
IT’S A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT’S A BOY"
And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!!!
Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!
In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead.
Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth
An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan ! He is making land Mines that look like prayer mats! It’s doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!!
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, f--k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees.
Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?'
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad says, 'So what were you watching?'
Billy says, ' Wimbledon .'
Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!'
An elderly couple are attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13928
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 5997
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Cat riding on the back of a scooter
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13928
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 5997
Re: Oh, You Internet.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Dan Quayle
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March, 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may re-apply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Dan Quayle
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March, 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may re-apply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
- bolueeleh
- Expatriate
- Posts: 4448
- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:39 am
- Reputation: 842
- Location: anywhere with cheap bonks
Re: Oh, You Internet.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
seems legit, 45%
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
seems legit, 45%
Money is not the problem, the problem is no money
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13928
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 5997
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