prahkeitouj wrote:Arranged marriage is like old people throw you into the well, but romantic marriage is like you jump into the well. Hehe .. if you are not srong enough then people will throw you.

Right. i think i am strong enough lol. Otherwise i would accept it last year.

Samouth wrote: Yes i have a sister. Many people said she is beautiful. However, sadly i am not looking for barang brother in law.

Why dont you want a Barang brother in law.....why are you planning your sisters life for her.....do you think you sound or are being racist ?

look forward to you reply

General Chatter wrote:

Samouth wrote: Yes i have a sister. Many people said she is beautiful. However, sadly i am not looking for barang brother in law.

Why dont you want a Barang brother in law.....why are you planning your sisters life for her.....do you think you sound or are being racist ?

look forward to you reply

Ok. There are so many types of Barang. It is better to choose a good one. i think i know about western culture better than my sister. I am not planning for my sister's life. When she reaches a certain age, i will let her decide about her own life. i will always respect her decision. i don't think i am being racist. In Cambodia, talking about money is really offensive. I hate all the rich people who look down poor people. Sadly, it happens a lot in Cambodia.

For example, a man really love his girlfriend and they planned to get married together. One day, he found out that her family is really poor. Then he refused to marry her and asked for break up. IMO, this is really suck.

Now that the enjoyable and jocular tone of this thread has changed, I would like to add some details about the mechanisms of arranged marriages in our village. First, it is incumbent upon the mother of the potential groom to plead her son's case with the mother of the prospective bride. If all is acceptable, especially the dowry demanded by the girl's mother things proceed thus. Soon, the young man will go with his mother(and perhaps father)to the girl's home. There they will both be asked if either they think they love or could love each other. As already mentioned, it may be entirely possible that they do not know each other. Now these days a girl has the right to refuse the boy, usually they can only refuse one or two proposals. There is a fear that one day they will either become "kaa jas houa" (too old to get married) or so old that the dowry will decrease with age. So, if all goes swimmingly, the next step is off to the soothe sayer to find out if their astrological signs indicate compatibility or if the tarot cards augur well.(Don't ask I'm clueless about these things) If all goes well the fortune teller will be visited again to predict the most auspicious date for the wedding. So, dowry paid, the new couple can now be seen in limited intimacy in the village expressing their passion by holding hands. After marriage, the groom may will move into the bride's home or else in a modest structure on their property, depending on space available. He will work for and with his bride's family or also for his parents if there are not enough siblings capable of work at home.

Now it has been mentioned that there are child brides, girls of a post pubescent age. This is true, the legal age in Cambodia is 18 for girls. However, since I have been here there have been girls as young as 15 who have been married. The village cops visit the wedding site as it is being erected and as you know a little money can turn a lot of backs. Opinion on the age limit is divided in our village, younger people feel it should be respected, while the older ones say that the sooner they get married, the sooner they can start to save money. There is also a saying popular here, "twer srai toan khdau dey,
yook pdey toan jeut." Plant rice when the soil is hot, take a husband when the heart is ready.

taabarang wrote:Now that the enjoyable and jocular tone of this thread has changed, I would like to add some details about the mechanisms of arranged marriages in our village. First, it is incumbent upon the mother of the potential groom to plead her son's case with the mother of the prospective bride. If all is acceptable, especially the dowry demanded by the girl's mother things proceed thus. Soon, the young man will go with his mother(and perhaps father)to the girl's home. There they will both be asked if either they think they love or could love each other. As already mentioned, it may be entirely possible that they do not know each other. Now these days a girl has the right to refuse the boy, usually they can only refuse one or two proposals. There is a fear that one day they will either become "kaa jas houa" (too old to get married) or so old that the dowry will decrease with age. So, if all goes swimmingly, the next step is off to the soothe sayer to find out if their astrological signs indicate compatibility or if the tarot cards augur well.(Don't ask I'm clueless about these things) If all goes well the fortune teller will be visited again to predict the most auspicious date for the wedding. So, dowry paid, the new couple can now be seen in limited intimacy in the village expressing their passion by holding hands. After marriage, the groom may will move into the bride's home or else in a modest structure on their property, depending on space available. He will work for and with his bride's family or also for his parents if there are not enough siblings capable of work at home.

Now it has been mentioned that there are child brides, girls of a post pubescent age. This is true, the legal age in Cambodia is 18 for girls. However, since I have been here there have been girls as young as 15 who have been married. The village cops visit the wedding site as it is being erected and as you know a little money can turn a lot of backs. Opinion on the age limit is divided in our village, younger people feel it should be respected, while the older ones say that the sooner they get married, the sooner they can start to save money. There is also a saying popular here,

"twer srai toan khdau dey,
yook pdey toan jeut." Plant rice when the soil is hot, take a husband when the heart is ready.

I think Ozzie girls have the same saying, but I think the translation [ google ] is different . [ eg " Let's fuck . ]

Samouth wrote:In Cambodia, talking about money is really offensive.

Say what? In my experience Cambodians talk about money all the time without shame or embarrassment. They seem to do it to gauge or demonstrate their status relative to others, hoping that they'll "win". Did something get lost in translation?

taabarang wrote:There is also a saying popular here, "twer srai toan khdau dey,
yook pdey toan jeut." Plant rice when the soil is hot, take a husband when the heart is ready.

yes, we always say it.

taabarang wrote:Now that the enjoyable and jocular tone of this thread has changed, I would like to add some details about the mechanisms of arranged marriages in our village. First, it is incumbent upon the mother of the potential groom to plead her son's case with the mother of the prospective bride. If all is acceptable, especially the dowry demanded by the girl's mother things proceed thus. Soon, the young man will go with his mother(and perhaps father)to the girl's home. There they will both be asked if either they think they love or could love each other. As already mentioned, it may be entirely possible that they do not know each other. Now these days a girl has the right to refuse the boy, usually they can only refuse one or two proposals. There is a fear that one day they will either become "kaa jas houa" (too old to get married) or so old that the dowry will decrease with age. So, if all goes swimmingly, the next step is off to the soothe sayer to find out if their astrological signs indicate compatibility or if the tarot cards augur well.(Don't ask I'm clueless about these things) If all goes well the fortune teller will be visited again to predict the most auspicious date for the wedding. So, dowry paid, the new couple can now be seen in limited intimacy in the village expressing their passion by holding hands. After marriage, the groom may will move into the bride's home or else in a modest structure on their property, depending on space available. He will work for and with his bride's family or also for his parents if there are not enough siblings capable of work at home.

Now it has been mentioned that there are child brides, girls of a post pubescent age. This is true, the legal age in Cambodia is 18 for girls. However, since I have been here there have been girls as young as 15 who have been married. The village cops visit the wedding site as it is being erected and as you know a little money can turn a lot of backs. Opinion on the age limit is divided in our village, younger people feel it should be respected, while the older ones say that the sooner they get married, the sooner they can start to save money. There is also a saying popular here, "twer srai toan khdau dey,
yook pdey toan jeut." Plant rice when the soil is hot, take a husband when the heart is ready.

Thanks Taa barang for your contribution. This is the best. I have a feeling that in order to understand more about Cambodia culture. Foreigner should travel to the province quite often or live there for awhile, while Phnom Penh is too much diversity.

By the way, there are some negative arrange marriage too. For example, the bride's parents forced their daughter to get married with someone she rejected to, but because he is rich or he has a good job. It happened a lot in our SOCIETY.

walkjivefly wrote:

Samouth wrote:In Cambodia, talking about money is really offensive.

Say what? In my experience Cambodians talk about money all the time without shame or embarrassment. They seem to do it to gauge or demonstrate their status relative to others, hoping that they'll "win". Did something get lost in translation?

Right. Many Cambodians do this and I really hate it. That's why we think it is really offensive when you are trying to show off your wealth in front of other people when you absolutely know they are poor. If you want to marry someone then you ask if her family is rich, this is really offensive. Nothing lost in translation. I will kick the guy out of my house if he gets married with my sister because our family is rich.